Postmétier conversations
by SuckUBusJ
Summary: After work conversations between Alucard and a female Hellsing Officer. CH. 28 ... and this is... closure...
1. Default Chapter

_I'm not sure if I need to explain the setting, since it's all scattered around the dialog. It's Alucard and an OC who... I dunno who it is, but might come back or not in future fics. I like to think about the Hellsing characters in completely different situations trying to keep them IC, and to do that I like to not make them interact with characters they interact normally. It's kind of a dare to myself. _

_This is written in a dialog kind of format, so there's little description. Specially of the OC. Because she's not really important. _

_DISCLAIMER: don't own crap... wished I owned Alucard, but the truth is, I would like him to own me better... :D.  
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I rested on the cold floor, a cigarette on my hand, my hair loose and spread all over the place. It's nice to be in the outsides of London. You can see all the stars and everything. Away from civilization.

I didn't feel like changing yet. I was on the tank top I always wear under my shirt, and the rest of my uniform, sans boots; knees bent, resting on my back, making smoke rings... well remembering how to do them... I kinda forgot.

Working with so many men, Seras the only other girl around... makes me a bit anxious.

I need to get laid.

And this job doesn't leave time to have much of a life, really. And some men here are hot as hell. But I haven't had any luck with any of the them. I've dated but no... sparks. Maybe I'm too picky. I think I'll die a virgin... I'm 23 for god's sakes!

"Just think about it this way... you don't have to 'die' in battle ... if I'm around..." A velvety voice caressed my ears. I sighed.

"Alucard I can't feed you tonight, I'm sorry... I'm very weak--"

"I did not come to be fed... " He said his voice finally having a form. He was standing beside me, looking down at my form resting on the floor. He was dressed in his complete attire, but his hat and glasses were missing.

"Then?"

"Well, Officer you are resting on common ground..."

"Huh?"

"This is not your space... " I understood. I was at the balcony on that floor. It was not my room or anything mine. So he was not actually looking for me.

" You're right... " I said and sat up, my hair falling down my back and tickling my shoulders in the process. "...still starving?"

" In theory, yes... thanks to your attentions no." He grinned.

" I'm glad... you do look better..."

The vampire had gotten in some serious trouble with Hellsing and was being starved. This I heard from Seras about a month ago and decided to help a little; she was so sad about this. Plus, it's kind of a deal. I feed him, so he kind of steals books from Hellsing's library for me and then puts them back when I'm done with them, gets me some of our boss's Chai or answer my vampire questions. Stupid stuff he can do because of his powers and knowledge.

" Nothing like food from the source..." He almost sing songed.

" Is it different from the person than from bags?"

" Of course..."

" How?"

" Mhhh..." He was silent and sulky for a moment. Then he smirked again "... as different as touching yourself and in your case a man doing it for you..."

" I get it..." he just HAS to rub this issue in my face, the idiot... I know he knows.

" By the way... if again you need a hand--"

" FUCK YOU!" I said my eyes wide. "I can't fucking believe you peek into my room like that!"

"Who said I did?"

"Then--." silence. "GRRR!" I fell for it, how stupid.

He chuckled.

"Idiot..." I felt his gloved hand on mine, softly taking the cigarette away from my hand. "...yeah sure go ahead..." I said sarcastically.

"These smell somewhat better than the ones Integra smokes..."

"Hellsing smokes cigars... those make me wanna throw up..."

He delicately takes it to his lips and inhales deeply. Softly the smoke comes out of his slightly parted lips.

"Nothing is as it used to be..." There was nostalgia in his tone.

"You smoked before I see"

"Yes I did... but not this... " He eyed it not too disapprovingly but not approvingly either.

"What then?"

"Pipă ..."

"Sounds like pipe in Spanish..."

"Pipe, yes..."

"That wasn't Spanish was it?"

"No."

"What then?"

"You are asking a lot of questions considering I am not getting blood tonight..." He smirked and took another drag.

"Forget it then..." I scoffed.

Silence.

"It almost... grows in you..." He let out the smoke slowly and softly.

"I think you're not giving it back... so... I'll take another one..." I took another one from my pack and lit it. "I used to smoke a lot when I was young..."

"You are young, milady."

"Ok younger..." Silence. "Damn, you ARE old..."

"That I am."

"But act like a 5 year old most of the time..."

"It is fun."

"Yeah... everything was better when I was 5... I didn't see so many things I see now..."

Silence.

"... ignorance is bliss..." I whispered.

"I wouldn't call that ignorance."

"Hmm?"

"Innocence is not ignorance, Officer..."

"Sometimes they mesh together... it all depends..."

"On what, may I ask?"

"When innocence brings you harm I consider it ignorance."

"That is a very valid point."

"Hmm..." I smiled sadly. "... it's sad what this world starts turning us into..."

"Hm..." he said contemptuously. "... _your_ world..."

"We live in the same world Alucard..."

"But don't follow the same rules, milady..."

"Maybe..."

"One creates a unique world... it is all a matter of perception..."

"Yeah... I guess..."

"Yours is a world of creation... mine is one of destruction... yet we share the same _world_, as you said... and a cigarette..."

"Creation?"

"What are those colorful crafts you have on your shelves?"

"The candles and the clay stuff?" I smiled shyly. "...stuff I do in my off time..."

"I could tell..."

"I do this too... hemp weaving..." I showed him my anklet . "NOT hemp like the one you smoke and stuff... this is not smokable... " I cleared up. He seemed to be completely lost.

"You're creative..."

"Yeah I see your point... is there anything else you like besides killing and blood?"

"... not much..."

"Something c'mon..."

Silence.

" ...good wine..." He finally answered.

"Hmm..." Silence. "... what else?"

Silence. "Chopin..."

I sent him a very surprised look.

"Why the look?" He said with playful indignation.

"You like Chopin?"

"Bach and Mozart I listened to for years... until I went to one of his concertos..."

"You what!" My eyes almost fell out of my face. "Are you serious?"

"He was a young lad at the time... I was very impressed..."

"Wow..." I stood up and leaned against the balcony beside him. "...how cool is that..."

"Hmm... now that you bring it up... it has been a while since I touched a piano---"

"You play?" I said turning to him with a smile, surprised as hell.

"Monsters can play instruments too, milady... it just takes two hands, 10 fingers and practice..."

"And I bet you had a lot of time to do just that."

"Specially after a meal... or right before one... it was a good way of _getting_ one, too..." He said that last thing with a sick grin.

"What a dog..." I scoffed looking away, out of the balcony. He was beside me but not against the railing as I was, so he was a bit behind me too. I felt a little tickle on my leg and jumped.

He chuckled.

"Keep those thingies to yourself!" I saw it tickling me before disappearing. His tendrils... they scare me.

"You can't be fun for more than 10 minutes..."

"And you can't hold a civil conversation without one sending you to hell... I think you like it..." I was a bit annooyed.

"Maybe I do..." +grin+

(raspberry)

"...and I am 5 years old?" He chimed.

"I have the right to be too..."

"Yes you do..."

"If you weren't a stupid vampire it'd kick you once in a while..."

"Why not do it?" He grinned almost swallowing his face.

"'Cause you will dodge or something and make me look stupid."

"Oh no, how can you think me capable of such thing?"

I glared at him.

"Stupidity is only within--oh?" My fist flew at him in a playful punch.

"Yessssssssss, I wanted to do that a long time ago..."

"You punched my arm?"

"Yes I did..." My hand kinda hurts, but I won't tell him ever.

"Such violence..."

"Blah..." I said and threw my finished cigarette away and rested my head on my arms. I looked at him as he silently looked around. He had finished his cigarette a while ago. "Call me crazy but I like feeding you..." I whispered softly, my head still into my arms.

"Hmm?"

"Even though... I am being food to you... it does make me feel... with power..."

"You like power?" He came closer and leaned on the balcony beside me.

"Who doesn't?..."

"Many I know..."

"Hmm..." Silence. "... it is nice to feel a creature as powerful as a vampire, in need of something I have... and crave for it in such ways..."

"So much for self-aggrandizing, milady?"

"Self-interest..." I smiled and he half grinned. "... we are not so different..." He told me once all monsters act in self-interest. To never expect selfless acts from one... including him.

"Maybe we aren't..." His eyes almost smiled mischievously at me. "... you want to experience real power?"

"What do you mean?"

"You marvel at what I can do... and you haven't seen even part of it..."

Silence.

"You too... could experience such power..." He whispered sensuously, leaning a bit toward me.

"You mean..."

"Yes..." He purred.

Silence.

"You have not experienced power... and never will... unless you become a true Nosferatu."

"That's an insane idea..." I said with a little chuckle, trying not to believe his offer.

"Maybe... but I can give you the opportunity."

Silence.

"I just need a yes..."

"... and what would happen if I do?"

"You would come with me."

"And be a slave too?" I whispered. I felt something cold travel down my body as I saw his face for the first time, after a year and a half of working for Hellsing, frown slightly. I raised my head, almost sprung. "I'm sorry I didn't--"

"You are right..."

"No, I'm sorry--"

"No need to apologize for the truth." He looked at his gloves and fixed them. "Your greed for power is not blind enough as to not realize your position; you are in fact... _free_..."

"Define free..." Silence.

Silence.

"We humans are violent creatures... we need violence... it is inborn in every animal... you can see it all around nature. You can get away with it because you are a _monster_... we, in the other hand, are supposed to be correct and civilized. So we make up excuses to be violent;... holy wars, political wars, or as we agreed one time; nationalities, flags, which are other forms of passive violence... this is why everything we've created is falling down in pieces. It can't hold the tremor of that repressed violence... so much for freedom, don't you think?"

I heard a soft agreeing chuckle from him.

"That whole monster/human thing is just ridiculous... you and I well know that monsters don't normally have fangs and drink blood... well not literally... they also wear tailored suits and carry suitcases and like coffee... is not a species thing. +sigh+ I am here because I need this job, nothing else... " I said looking away toward the sky. I finally said it out loud. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

"Hmm..."

Silence.

"... it's starting to dawn... shouldn't you be in your coffin?"

"Sometimes I go to sleep late..".

"Hmm... if you can't make it to the basement in time or whatever, you can crash in my room... it's fine with me... I know sunlight is deadly to you guys... and there's a lot of space under my bed..."

"Hmm?" He made an expression as if he couldn't believe his ears.

"What... well it's either that or you turn into ashes... I kinda don't mind if that's the outcome..."

He looked thoughtful; almost a mocking thoughtful pose.

"What..."

"I am thinking..." He said playfully.

"I can tell... what about?"

"Truth... or... a white lie..."

"Huh?"

"What if I told you sunlight doesn't affect me..."

"I'd say you're full of shit cause I read about it."

"Hmm..." He was still doing his thinking pose.

"You know what... I just felt a weird vibe from you so... I changed my mind, teleport or something you can do it without having to go out... sleep tight..." I said picking up my stuff and walked toward my room.

"So is the invitation off?"

"Yep." I said and closed the door.

I heard his chuckles rumble outside my room.

Shit, I have to wake up tomorrow at 1200 hrs to clean my guns... sucks.

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I hope it didn't suck so bad... please review! So i can get better! Thanx! 


	2. You want a WHAT!

_So much for a one shot... I still don't have a name for the OC. She will be nameless for now, until she needs a name._

_DISCLAIMER: Don't own Hellsing... I just own a lot of unpaid bills... and I rent; don't even own a home... yet._

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I limped to my bed after going through hell as I came up the stairs. Something went wrong in the mission and I ended up in between a crossfire between an army of ghouls and our people. I wasn't shot but in the process of not getting shot, I sprained my ankle... ok I think it's broken. Shit. But I don't want to be a cry baby. So I swallowed my pain and came here.

Ok, so what do I do now... I know the thing is broken. I need a doctor or something--

(knock knock)

" I'm taking you to the infirmary..." Clay Brendon, a fellow Officer and friend said, not even saying hi as he saw me.

" I am fine... its nothing really."

" Walk for me and I'll judge."

" ... well I'm not THAT fine but its nothing--"

" --don't make me carry you--

" I'm fine!" I said backing away as he came close to me and got ready to carry me out of my room.

" Ok, fine... but if it gets bad, please call me... I gave you my number right? I'll turn it on when I get back..."

" Ok, ok I will, I swear..."

" Ok..." Silence. He's not leaving. "I need another promise..." He had a wicked smile on him.

" Oh god... tell..." I rolled my eyes, expecting another scolding.

" Let me ask you out on a date, come on..." He said leaning his head on the door frame. Oh no, he's going for the puppy dog eyes.

" Clay--"

" I know, I know, ok... then just hang out..."

" ok... hang out..." I half smiled.

" What if--..."

" NO!" I said with a chuckle.

" ok... I got it..." He said smiling again. " ... please call me if something comes up."

" Yes Dad."

" I'm serious!" He said as he walked away.

I smiled and when he was far away I closed the door. Why does he have to work here and be a dog... I wanna go out with him! he's so damn hot...

I was so busy with my thoughts I took a normal step forward toward my bed and forgot about my ankle. As I put pressure, and a lot mind you, on my injured foot I yelped in pain and lost my balance. I started falling back but a hand under my armpit stopped my fall. I didn't have time to register the door was behind me, and only the door, when I flew in the air and then I felt another arm under my knees. And a red fedora almost poking out my eye.

" Dude you got a big hat..." I blurted out as he put me gently on the bed.

" You're a very stubborn human..."

" You too?" I said preparing for another lecture.

" It is just a comment... it is up to you to have that looked at or not."

" Thank you..." I said and tried to lower my skirt. It had come up a bit. "Wait!"

" Yes?" He was walking away toward the door.

" You must have that same thing Seras has--the auto healing thingie..."

" Yes?"

" Can you do it on other people?"

" On you, you mean?" He said finally turning around.

" Yes..." I said swallowing my pride. I didn't want to go to the infirmary.

" ...hmm... depends..."

" Huh?"

" What will I get out of it?" He said adjusting his gloves.

" Blood...? what else..." I said as a matter-of-factly.

" hmmm..." He had a skeptical look on his face. He walked back toward me; meaning my bed. "...that would be nice but... this is more elaborate than answering questions... or stealing tea from Walter... or books from Integra..."

" Name your price then... we'll negotiate..." I seriously didn't want to heal a broken ankle.

" Very well then..." He said and sat beside me on the bed, looking towards me. A little too close for my taste, but surprisingly I wasn't protesting. " ... blood sounds good--"

"--Deal."

" But... a little different this time..."

" I have a feeling I am not going to like this."

He chuckles.

" ... blood... from a little prick of your tongue... in a luscious bloody kiss..." He said softly and sensuously.

I am glaring at him... very much.

" NO." Why am I not feeling convinced by my voice?

" No?..."

" I don't think it's very hygienic... you ingest blood for a living..."

" I haven't had blood in days..."

" You're being starved still? I thought since you didn't come this week--"

" Well... the police girl did sneak in with a bag two days ago but..."

Silence.

" Who knows what kind of germs you have in your mouth... I bet you don't even brush..."

" No need to."

" Everyone does... even animals have to be taken to the vet--"

" That is my price... I must save my efforts, so?"

Silence.

" Heal me first... and I will make the cut... do not bite me I repeat or I swear I will tell on you and even exaggerate and I know she will believe me more than you--"

" Breathe."

I took a big breath. " Heal me then..." Why am I shaking? "--oh and don't touch me..."

" Very well... I need to touch your ankle to heal you of course" He said moving to the foot of the bed while taking his hat and glasses off.

" To heal me yes, but that's it... I need to have something made out of silver in my hand just in case..."

" I don't think it is a good idea..." He said sitting with my swollen foot on his lap.

" Will it hurt?"

" I don't think so..." He said and wrapped one big hand around my ankle.

Next thing I feel is cold... really weird cold surrounding my ankle. I gasped silently. He didn't seem to be making any efforts; just holding my ankle. Then, his hand left it slowly back on the bed, no purple color, no swelling and... no pain it seemed.

" Hm!" I stood up and walked. My god, as good as new. This is amazing! " Wow, this is cool..." I jumped a bit and even kicked the shelf.

" Break it again and the price is the same..." He almost sing songed.

I scoffed. I looked at him and he was looking at me like an anxious kid waiting for his Xmas present.

" Fine... I'm a woman of honorable word..." I said and returned to my position on the bed as before; sitting up, legs stretched. He sat again beside me on the border of the bed, but this time he rested one of his palm on the other side of my body. Damn it I feel caged.

" Do not touch me, remember--lemme get my knife--"

" No, no knife..." He said seriously and I stopped. " You will have to excuse my lack of skill, it has been years since the last time I kissed a woman..."

" How long..." I asked trying not to smile.

" Will I get more blood for this answer?"

" Such a business man... come on, its just a number... if you do, maybe a drop--" He didn't shut me up, he didn't force it. I shut myself up as he softly leaned over and holding my lower lip between his, gave me a first soft kiss. His lips were cool. Not cold cold... it is weird, because they didn't feel like lips. But it wasn't bad either. Just different.

I was a bit curious. I didn't know what to expect when he would open his lips. Would he have bad breath? And gross me out? Well he healed me what the hell. I am walking I don't care. It's just like he said, a price I have to pay.

He kept doing that same little sucking of my lips a few times, so I gave the first step and parted my lips for him to come inside. I didn't know what to expect yet and I wanted to end this--why the hell am I shaking?

But it all left my head quickly. As his tongue touched mine and my unenthusiastic self let him do whatever, my head began to feel lighter and lighter.

Lack of skill my ass.

He can be a monster, but this monster knows what he's doing. He caressed my tongue, not rubbed, almost to the verge of a tickle. So softly and smoothly. He would go back to sucking delicately on my lips and tracing one of them with his tongue and then back to parting mine with his. It was like a little game.

I leaned forward to lock lips with him, a moan escaping from mine into his, which I lectured myself about later. This was for his enjoyment... not mine, supposedly. But... the thing is, there was no bad breath, no bad taste... ok maybe an unusual coppery taste to him but it wasn't bad... not bad at all actually.

I was in autopilot and not very aware of my actions. My arms went around his neck and brought him softly a bit downward as I fell back on my raised pillow. Not completely down, just a bit backward.

Then I felt a little tickle in my brain.

_...you can touch me then, was that our deal? how unfair..._

I kinda woke up with that thought of his and gently ended the kiss. I better stop before doing something stupid... my hands snapped away from him toward my sides.

" Ok, sorry..." I said not looking at him, but a bit passed his face.

He wasn't backing away completely.

" Aren't we forgetting something?

" Hm?"

" You didn't prick your tongue..." He whispered.

Shit.

" Oh... damn..." Jesus I'm acting so erratic. " Ok, fine..."

" Your smell is not telling me it's such a bother--"

" Why the hell are you smelling me?" I tried to sound annoyed.

" Ok, no touching, no smelling... anything else?" I want to negotiate the _no touching_ part... please protest about it.

Silence.

" Well?" He brought me back from my thoughts with a tilted head.

" Ok, lets do this then..." I said sounding annoyed.

But I saw him smiling as he kissed me again, this time less cautious.

Two times in the first few seconds I had to bring my hands down from mid air.

Damn, he's good! I don't want to not touch!

But that angel on my shoulder was saying _'you are going to hell_'. I wonder what Sir Hellsing would say about this, he he.

I pricked my tongue with his upper canine, blood hitting both our tongues. He began to ... breathe for starters... and then give little grunts. As we kissed less politely by the second, moans again escaped my lips into his mouth, combining with his. I can't believe I'm enjoying this...

While I was flagellating myself about not being able to control my moans, I completely lost track of my body and again my arms went to his neck. But he didn't say anything this time. One of my hands went into his hair and tangled with it as the other went to his coat and again, pulled him down toward me. But this time I was sliding down too, down the bed...

_...if I hit the bed, I will do more than just kiss you..._

"--ok--ok..." I interrupted the kiss suddenly and moved my face to one side, but he continued a little on my jaw and part of my neck. "Hey--stop..." I squirmed a bit but I swear I almost couldn't stop myself.

" Next time I will keep my thoughts to myself..." He mumbled.

" What--next time... no no no next time, man..."

" Hmm..." He said still looking at me, his gloved finger cleaning the corner of my mouth softly, then licking the blood off it. "... almost a century..."

" Hmm?" What is he talking ab--. " A century? you mean the last time you-- wait how old are you?" My eyes were ready to fall out.

" Have a wonderful night..." He said with a smirk and got up.

" Oh no, tell me..."

Silence. He continued walking toward the door.

" You're such a tease!" I said and jumped after him and got to the door before he did.

" I am?" He caged me with his arms against the door. " Review your conduct just a few seconds ago, Officer."

" Ok fine don't tell me then..." I ducked away from his arms. " You owe me that information later.."

" Always for a price..."

" I know, I can't expect anything less from you..."

" Expect everything from me... after all I am a _monster_..." And he faded through the door.

Self-interest... never selfless... a reminder...

Damn I knew he was old but... _damn_...

I turned around and went to bed.

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_I forgot to say, English is not my first language. This is like some sort of practice for me, so bear with me. This is why I have done mostly One Shots (I am in AFF under the same name)._

_Don't know where this is going... but I will put up other chapters, I know. Please review! I want to see how I'm doing_


	3. vampire's day out

_I am very sorry. I wrote this while I was drunk. Very, very sorry… :P_

_It's Corona and Tiesto's fault. Damn them._

_**DISCLAIMER**: Same thing, don't own crap… just… my crap I guess… (ew)._

_OH! And conversations in Italics are thoughts._

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Let's review my actions last night... 

Last night I kissed and I mean _KISSED_ someone that:

1. Doesn't have a heartbeat.

2. Drinks blood... as in pints of it.

3. Doesn't breathe.

4. Has no pores; yes, I had a good look.

5. In other words, a vampire.

6. Is over a hundred years old.

7. And lastly... is kind of a co-worker and I am not really into the whole 'dating in the workplace' thing anymore; it gets complicated. (This one is the most stupid of all, I know).

Something tells me that it doesn't matter how good I have been in my life, this is the biggest karma I can accumulate in one day. And it's not only the fact that I kissed him; is that I enjoyed it and if I had been a bit more _distracted_ I would have ended up in bed with him. I mean, I _was_ pulling him!

I need to get laid and I'll make sure it's not by him. It's just not right. I mean... he's clinically dead, it's weird. I do not think badly of vampires as I have stated before… but I just… we have very basic differences, like members of different species, which makes it… its just weird. Maybe if I just get rid of all that tension I might stop thinking these stupid thoughts.

I hate him, why did he have to kiss me.

"I need a favor." Seras came running toward me as I was practicing in the shooting range. She almost tackled me.

"Hm?"

"Do you drive?"

"Well, here I get confused... everything is backwards."

"Oh no." She whimpered.

"What happened?"

"I have a horrible craving... it's unbearable." She was so serious. I almost exploded in laughter.

"Craving?"

"I need ice cream."

"But you can't process solid foods, can you?"

"I have had ice cream before and nothing happens..." She shrugged, still with a straight face. So she _is_ serious.

"Ok sure I can take you but—where do we get the car from?"

"Walter."

"Oh..."

"But I can't go; I have to patrol tonight... can you go?"

"Uh… yeah, but how would I know what you want?"

"StrawberrycheesecakeHaggenDazsandabagofchocolatechipcookies---

"Ahhh! Slow down! Let me get it down on writing ok? The speed and the accent are not helping me..." I pulled her to my room to get everything she wanted on paper.

I do need some company.

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**(tone… tone)**

"Hullo."

"Hey Clay."

"Hey luv, saw you running around today, I guess you're fine now, eh?"

"Yeah I told you it was nothing... hey, I'm gonna go out for a while to bring Seras some things."

"Out?"

"Yeah, Walter is letting me barrow a car... I have permission and everything, wanna come?"

"Ugh, I can't luv... have to patrol tonight."

"Grr... sucks."

"Damn… if I could, I would, you know that..."

"Yeah... well, till tomorrow then..."

"Tomorrow then, take care, ok?"

"Yeah... buh bye."

"Buy luv."

(click)

I pouted a bit and went to change out of my uniform. I grabbed a pair of ripped-at-the-knees low riders a white long-sleeve, tight shirt and slipped on some flip flops. It was kinda chilly, but I would just run to wherever I had to go.

Plus I AM flip flops… whatever that means.

I let my hair down, brushed it a bit, took the keys and sped out of my room--

"Damn..." I said as I almost bumped into something big and red. "Being so quiet is a drag..."

"Hm..." He was looking down at me… more like studying me. "... you look very different..."

"Very observant, yes I changed..."

"Why?"

"...going out..."

"It is not your holiday yet..."

"I have permission... gonna get something for Seras—."

"I like your pants…" He said, but I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. I feel like food all of a sudden.

"Thanx…" This is weird. I didn't sound too sure about thanking him.

"I can see your hipbone—."

"So?"

"Nothing... did it sound as if I was complaining?" Finally the grin.

"He-he, funny. Bye" I said unenthusiastically and walked away from him.

"Will you not ask me if I would like to come? How rude..." I knew he wanted to annoy me.

"Uh... can you?"

"No... but this has never stopped me..."

"I thought those things controlled you." I eyed his gloves.

"Violence... this is not violence..." I smirked like a devil. "You tricked me..."

"Thank you, I really wanted to know that..." More smirking from me.

"Now I have to come, this is how you will pay me for this answer."

Silence. I think _he_ tricked _me_.

"You are not coming with those clothes..."

"What's wrong with them?"

"They give you out and I don't want to have problems... I want you to look normal for once in your life..."

He's still looking at me.

"Come..." I said and went back into my room. "Come in, come in, I won't bite..."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" He smirked.

"Yeah, yeah... I tend to say all the wrong things around you..." I said looking at him. "I need to take some things off and change others, are you ok with this..."

"Don't be a tease, Officer..." He sing-songed.

"Behave or you're not going, ok?" I said and he smirked again. "Please don't do that outside, you look scary..."

"Fine..." Did he just shrug?

I took his hat off and threw it on the bed, then his glasses.

"Ok... now let's see... take the coat off..." He did. "You never get hot indoors with all that stuff on?"

He is kind of glaring at me.

" Ok, fine…take the jacket off too."

He did.

I sighed. "Ok... let's take this off..." I took the cravat off him. "... and unbutton this-- Jesus, man you need to relax..."

More glaring from him.

His shirt was a bit unbuttoned now, in a relaxed way. I took his arms and after undoing his cufflinks, I folded the cuffs up to mid arm.

"Can you take your gloves off?"

"Of course..." And so he did. I think he's not supposed to, but like he cares. To my surprise, he had some kind of burned tattoo of the sigil on his hands. It gave me a bit of goose bumps and I don't know why I felt a little sympathy towards him.

He is... a slave.

"Uh--good... un tuck your shirt... can u make it not look so wrinkl-- oh cool!"

"Anything else?"

"Yeah..." I knelt down and put his pants OVER his boots. "You only want boots over pants when you have a horse… and I don't see any around, so…"

"I will keep it in mind..." He sounded sarcastic, not too pleased by this I could tell.

I stood up and looked at him.

"You know... you could look good in a daily basis... you just need a little help..." I said looking at the little make over, my hands on my hips.

"Are you saying you like how I look?"

"I'm saying you have potential, you just... need help." I am almost stuttering… and blushing.

"So is that a yes?"

"You know how you look; I don't need to reassure you of what you know already..."

"I think that is a yes..."

"Let's go..." I scoffed turning away to leave. He came after me chuckling. Idiot.

Yes I'm blushing.

**

* * *

(music playing)**

"You're awfully quiet..." I finally said.

"Hmm?" He was looking out the window silently. How scary; he looked so normal.

He turned to me.

"Penny for your thoughts..." I sing-songed softly.

"I haven't realized until now how everything has changed..."

Silence.

"I bet you have seen many changes... being over a century old and all..."

"A few... yes, I have."

"A few centuries or a few changes..."

He smirked knowing my curiosity was killing me. He loves to torture me.

"Hm..." Silence. "... you know I try to be normal about that last comment but it's just..."

"'Weird'?"

"No, no not weird—."

"It's your favorite word when it comes to me." He said still into the window. I couldn't see his face, so I couldn't tell why he had said that. And his tone was completely emotionless.

Like him all together most of the time.

"Does it bother you?--and no I was going to say something else, not weird..."

He chuckled darkly. Almost mocking my concern.

"Cause if it does then I won't do it again..."

Silence. He looked at me for a few more seconds and then looked away.

"Does it bother you to be a slave?"

"No."

"Oh..." I said and looked at his hands. Again I got the goose bumps as I saw the scar.

"… does it hurt?" I asked softly.

"Sometimes..."

Silence.

Burned flesh. I couldn't repress a frown and a sigh.

"How can you not mind this?" The anarchist in me whispered.

He looked at me… though stared would be a better fitting word.

"I see you react rather strongly to this every time."

"Makes me ashamed of my own species..." I whispered back.

He didn't say anything else. No one did. I kept looking for a place that was open at that time so we could get what Seras wanted and well, something for me too, now that I was outside.

"Ok, lets..." I said almost jumping out of the car.

"This is it?"

"Yeah, I wanna get some more stuff."

"Alright..." I waited for him as he looked around. He looks so normal it's scary. And the scariest thing is... I thought to myself... I would date him... if he was human.

"Such honor..." He said mockingly as we walked beside each other.

"Idiot..." Remember girl, he reads thoughts! I am blushing really bad.

"You're not so bad yourself—."

"Whatever dude..."

"—I see how the other Officers look at you—."

"Stalker…"

"And I'm sure they would comment on your ensemble today..."

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing... nothing at all..."

I scoffed.

I began to scan the place and thank god there were almost no people around. I mean, he still has red eyes, but I guess he can always pass for a Goth/Emo guy or whatever. He seemed to be doing his own little cameo around the place because he was not behind me anymore. Oh well, he should live a little too.

I took some ice cream for myself, some water and... hm, I'm thinking beer definitely. Too bad they don't have any Pocky. I'll have to go to that Oriental store where I got it from, what a drag—.

"_Stay". I felt his thought._

I stayed.

"_Do not jump this time, Officer."_

"_What the hell..." _

Next thing I feel is his face looking at what I'm looking at, or was, over my shoulder. Close. He doesn't get close. Something is wrong.

"_What is it—freaks?"_

"This woman is following me... she insists she knows me from somewhere..." He whispered.

I can't repress my chuckle.

"She's picking you up, man... way to go..." I am dying of laughter inside.

"Her blood smells rancid."

"So now I have to deal with you to scare her away, right?"

"I'll tell you how old I am." He sing-songed.

"Deal... you really not like her, huh?"

"Here she comes."

"Give me your hand."

"hmm?"

"Your hand... give me your—." He did and I held his hand, entwining my fingers with his. "And hold my basket..."

"Is this part of the plan too?"

"No, it's getting heavy..." I saw her walking down the isle as we were going up. She's cute; he's just being a baby.

"_Her blood smells rancid, I told you."_

"_I don't think she's your type anyway."_

"_Oh... do I have one?"_

"_You seem like the kind of guy who likes Goth chicks and stuff... wild girls." I chuckled aloud._

"Oh! Cigs, yeah cigs too..." I remembered.

"That damn habit is spreading like a—."

"I don't smoke that much... but I do when I want to relax or I've had a bad day or something..."

"Hmm... that's how it starts..."

"Don't lecture me. I'm old enough to smoke 5 packs a day if I want."

"Never said anything different..."

"—I'm holding his hand and now he wants to lecture me, good lord—men are men, dead or alive is the same—." I mumbled almost to myself.

"You humans always implying... unless you have telepathy, why waste the energy—."

"Yeah, you and your 'Vampires kick ass' attitude, I'll get you a bumper sticker."

He chuckled.

"What now…"

"Her thoughts are amusing..."

"Do I want to know?" I asked disinterested.

"She's wondering how a girl like you got a bloke like me..."

"Excuse me?" I stopped, making him stop too since we were still holding hands.

"I remind you it was her, not me, so—."

"Such a blonde comment... coming from a blonde doesn't really surprise me..."

"That's not the best part..." He was grinning.

"Oh there's more? I bet she called me fat 'cause she looks like a size 0—I'm fine with my size 7—I mean I'm tall I can pull it off—."

"She had this very _intense_ love-making scene in her head about you and me—."

"She what!"

"—very vivid imagination, I am impressed..."

"Intense meaning..."

"And she doesn't seem to see you as heavy... she was good even matching proportions—."

"What a pervert—."

"Where did she go—." He looked around.

"What!" I looked at him indignantly.

"Your hand is sweating." He whispered toward me.

"Shut up—let me—." I shook my hand from his grasp as we walked to the beer fridge. Of course he was chuckling.

"Oh but she will see us fighting and think it is a good chance..."

"Not my fault you are a goddamn pervert... plus you're kinda cold..."

"You seem to like my cold lips last night..."

I dropped my wallet.

And of course, he chuckled.

I sighed. "If I knew you were gonna bring that up I would have preferred to go to the infirmary."

"Why don't I believe that... hm."

I clicked my tongue. "Here, hold this..." I gave him a six pack.

"I'm sure the police girl didn't order this."

"It's mine." I mumbled.

"Oh... are you sure you want to drink in the verge of a date?"

My head snaped toward him. "How do you know about that?"

He tilted his head with a smirk.

"You better stop spying on people or you will get in trouble."

"It gets boring in there..."

"Get a hobby."

"Humans are interesting... I try to understand them but—."

"Yeah, yeah..."

I walked toward the cashier, him behind me. The girl was there.

"_Do not share her thoughts with me, ok? I can imagine what kind of crap—."_

"_hm..." He was tempting me._

_I am seriously battling against asking._

"_Should I give you my hand again?" His thought caressed my mind._

"_Fine."_

"_Shouldn't we interact a bit? We seem bored of each other..."_

"_If you know what to do, do it... I won't look clingy; I bet she thinks I am... bitch... careful with what you do anyways..."_

The girl left right then but he didn't comment on her thoughts or anything. We paid and then headed to the car. He was carrying everything as if it was nothing.

"You sure there's nothing you wanna get?"

"What I want I can't do anything about..." He almost mumbled.

"Don't say it... don't scare me... it took me a while to get used to you..."

"Really? Less than others... actually now that I think of it... you're the only one that speaks to me besides Pickman."

"Really?"

"Not that I am complaining..."

"What do you mean?"

"I might as well be the envy of the units..."

"Yeah whatever..." I couldn't help but smile.

"If they only knew—."

"And they won't ok!" I said sternly.

"As you wish, milady..."

Silence.

"You must be old... no one says that anymore..."

"574."

"What?"

"574 this year in December... 573 right now."

I glared at him... very much... oops almost crashed.

"Be careful... only one immortal in this vehicle."

"You are kidding right?"

"No... I take it I look good for my age?"

"It can't be!"

"_That_ good?"

"Oh my god... are you fucking serious?"

"I am flattered—."

"You are older than most countries on the other side of the world!"

"And now you are making me feel bad..." He said sarcastically.

"Geez..."

Silence.

"And you have always looked like this?—I mean , were you human once?"

He chuckles very very low.

"So you were..."

"I haven't said anything."

"I will ask when I'm ready to pay you... I can't loose blood that fast..."

There was silence as we drove back. I couldn't believe it. It was just so unreal; half a millennia old. Wow, how many things he must have gone through... insane.

I looked around as we finally got home; don't want people seeing me arrive with him like this. I don't want gossip going around.

"Thanks for helping me with this... you are quite decent when you want to be."

"I have received so many compliments, what a happy day..."

I hate how everything out of his lips sounds so burlesque.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't go bragging about it—hey, can you give this to Seras? I don't wanna go all the way there now..."

"I will."

"Don't tell her you came along... just that you saw me around and I asked you to do this..."

"Is there a reason for this..."

"Just do it, please." Grr!

"Fine..." He smirked at my frustration. He will push any button, stupid as it is, to see me frustrated.

"Don't roam around till too late in the morning... old men shouldn't over exercise."

"You are so predictable."

I stuck my tongue out to him. He blinked.

"Night..."

"Good night."

He disappeared before my door was completely closed.

573 years old... I can't even imagine what that must feel like...

... and the experience he must have...

and does... at least when it comes to kissing.

I'll stop before I go any further... I'm going to bed.

* * *

_

* * *

Again, it was a product of a combination of a few Coronas and Tiesto... as in DjTiesto... and other drunk people saying stupidities beside me.  
_

_... still don't have a name... any suggestions? Let me know. Just in case if I ever finally need a name. _


	4. Kissukissuuu ahem

_Thanx for the reviews! And the names. I will have it in mind when i need it. Though I'll keep her an Officer for longer. Officer de Costa (OC) and make her brazilian or something... never mind I'm rambling.  
_

_ ... This one is short, sorry._

A citrusy moment will come later and many will... I think. I am thinking about a bit complex pairing here; I miss Integra already. So I might end up posting some chapeter in AFF where this story is already up too, and might be even up faster since it does upload faster there. I am under the same pen name.

* * *

What should I do tonight...

I know Clay would be a good guy to... help me get rid of what I want to get rid of (insert V word here) and well... I mean he likes me and stuff, but I don't want to use him either. And most guys will not go through a hassle of deflowering girls one time and then bye-bye. And I don't know what his intentions are, _and_ I don't want to have a relationship now.

I will tell him during the night that I don't want any relationships and I don't want boyfriends right now or anything. And then when the time to say goodbyes comes, let's see what happens.

It's not a date… but he is a guy after all…

"Next time I'm taking you to Camden Arms—I didn't know you were into the whole jazz bar thing."

"It depends on my mood; I like everything, you know... one night could be a jazz bar the next I could be up to rave three days in a row... it just depends..."

We were in front of my door calling it a night. I had said the things I wanted to say... bla bla bla... let's see if he got the message.

"Well then... good night, luv... see you tom--today more like it..."

"Yeah..." Ok I have to do something. I put my arms in the air as if asking for a hug. He smiled, his blue eyes almost closing, and gave it to me. "You are the sweetest guy... I take back the dog thing."

"That's good news... I'm not doing too bad then..."

"You know it's not that I don't... you know..."

"Really?"

"Yeah..." We are still hugging. "You work here, that's not good… it's uncomfortable…"

"Best news I've heard this month, anyway."

I chuckled. He did too a little.

"So ok... what about... a non-compromise, very little, goodnight kiss... so little you won't even notice..."

I smiled.

"And I won't call tomorrow or ever... zero commitment..."

I put my head back a bit, enough as to not look at him in the eye before kissing him. And so I did.

He kissed me back softly; I could tell he was surprised. His arms brought me even closer to him by my waist and next thing, the wall was behind me. His hands groped my waist softly but never inappropriately. My hands moved up and down his arms and then to his hair, trying to... kind of give him a CLUE, but he was being good. Too good for my taste; this is not the time to be a proper gentleman.

He slowly ended the kiss but after all those thoughts I felt bad looking at him in the eye. So instead of guilty I just acted shy. He smiled a little smile... and then sighed.

"Thank you..." He whispered.

"Don't thank me..."

"I'll see you later... sleep tight."

"...ok... you too..." I saw him walk away slowly, his hands inside his pockets. I stood there for a moment. I can't believe this!

"Maybe it was for the better..." A deep male voice came from the shadows.

"Get lost—."

"That looked somewhat clumsy… I can only imagine then—."

"Tch... fuck you." I whispered angrily and stepped inside slamming the door.

I walked inside my room towards the fridge and got a beer.

...the monster does have a point; I tried not to compare but... I couldn't help it.

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_Why isn't 'hits' in my 'story stats' working? I want to know if at least people are reading. Hmm. If you know how to enable that please let me know. Bai! _


	5. oh! so ALucard has NEEDS scoffs

_This is the beginning of a citrusy chapter I have posted in AFF. You are more than welcome there to read the rest of it. If you can of course. You know what I mean. It's a mild one. _

_

* * *

_

"Oh no... hell no..." I said in the verge of a violent outburst.

"I'm sorry, those were my orders, to tell you this—." Seras said almost pouting.

"I will not be information retrieval! I am not sick! I am going through a normal cycle—God it's as human as it can get! This is discrimination in the workplace I will sue!"

"But you're not being fired or anything... just transferred for 3 days... until your period goes away."

"3 days? Hell no, I will speak to whoever gave you this—."

"Sir Hellsing."

Silence.

I kicked the trashcan beside my shelf, this action making my knives fall off my boots. "Oh great..."

"What happened to your boots?"

"Yesterday the compartments got all screwed up... now I can't carry them..."

"Did you tell Walter?"

"Yeah, but... no, he can do that Sunday... I need my boots I can't look as if I can't do my job."

"There is nothing going on right now so..."

"I need a beer—."

"I'm so sorry..."

"It's ok it's not your fault" I opened the beer hastily. "...this sucks... does that happen to you?"

"I don't get it anymore..."

"Lucky..." I mumbled and gulped down... a big gulp. "The truth is I hate it too... I've been feeling weak today... and I understand it is dangerous to work like this around freaks and ghouls and all that. But I don't get it, why _now_... it's not like it has been the first time I have been to a mission like this..."

She shrugged.

"Whatever..." I gulped down more beer. "I saw your Master yesterday... he does look paler than usual..."

"Haven't been able to sneak anything else... I feel bad... like I'm failing him." She dropped her body on my bed.

"No, I'm sure he doesn't want you to get in trouble... something will come up... Sir Hellsing is not stupid, she knows he's Hellsing's trump card... she can't afford to loose him..."

"But I don't want to see him like this..."

"Hmm..." More gulping. "Hey is there a way I can call you or something when I want you to come over?"

"Not that I know of... we have no phones down there, so..."

"That sucks..." I was going to say something about her not deserving this but I have said it so many times that I don't want to cause a riot or anything.

"I'm going to return downstairs to check on the status of events..."

"Have fun... I'll be IR after all! London has to be sinking for me to go out tonight!" I said sarcastically.

"Bye... I'll tell you everything that happens tonight... if something happens..."

"Thanks..." I said unenthusiastically. She left lazily, closing the door behind her. "Not even backup... how embarrassing... I'm first action, for god's sakes..."

I heard a distant dark chuckle behind my door.

"Not tonight vampire... I am not in the mood." I whispered.

Plus I was upset with him. He yelled at me in last night's mission. Ok, it was my fault, but I hate to be yelled at. As always I was exiting the mission for him to take over, but decided, in my stubborn mind, that I wanted to see him in action. I sneaked back in, and got my dosage of action. Not only did I see him morph into the most horrible, diabolical shapes I could never imagine, but also got grabbed by my shirt, pulled up in the air, scolded and yelled in some weird language, by him. Yes, I had disobeyed a direct order. But don't fucking yell at me.

It was worth it though. I have to say I respect him more now. If I wasn't so weird, I would have snapped with what I saw. And if it wasn't for those seals on his hands, I wouldn't even talk to him again. What the hell is he anyway...

But if I was going to be here doing nothing then what the hell right? I stood up and walked to the door.

"Hey..." I said and looked at him for a few seconds. "...you look like shit."

"Thank you... I'm doing great how about you?"

"Seras was right... you look deader than ever..."

"Never felt better too..." He said sarcastically.

"Next time you want to scold me, at least make sure my feet are touching the ground... it is kind of hard to land correctly specially if one is exhausted and scared all at the same time..."

"I didn't ask for company."

"Anyway, it was rude... don't do it again."

"As long as you're not present I don't see why I have to do it again..."

"Ok fine, fine I did wrong, happy? Now I'm fucking IR... give me a goddamn break..."

"Your mouth is dirtier than usual... and you kiss Brendon with that same mouth... what a shame..."

"... go away then..." I grabbed the door to close it.

"Actually..." He put his hand inside so it wouldn't close. "I need a favor."

"A favor? I don't do favors today, man... I'm surfing the crimson wave and that's enough to make me pretty much not-favor material..."

"Then I could help you too, more than you think..."

"Explain..."

"But I need you to have an open mind and listen to me."

"I have a feeling this is not going to be very good to hear."

"Depends on the way you see it."

"I'm having second thoughts about listening to you."

"Please, milady... I need your help—ask for anything in exchange but I NEED this..." He walked closer to me, making emphasis in that he NEEDED this.

"What is it..."

"I need your blood."

"No can do... I am loosing a lot right now—."

"That's my point."

"No comprende."

"I need that blood you are _already_ loosing..."

Silence.

"Oh god, this is—."

"It might sound very bad in your mind... but to me is nothing but food."

"Wait but how do I do that—and where are you helping me?"

"I know you hate this and want to get rid of it... I can have it all at once and you won't have to worry about the next days."

"You mean, accelerate the thing?"

"No, I can have it all at once."

"But how 'have it'? If you're not accelerating it then how do you have it?"

Silence.

"I... think I'm not going to like your answer..."

"From you of course." He was very serious which maked it very alarming.

"From me?" Processing..."...is it... what I think you are thinking..."

"Yes it is..."

My eyes have never been this wide in my life.

* * *

_I am under the same pen name in AFF. Thanks for reading! This is flowing into my computer, don't know why. I have other chapters ready, so I will post soon. _  



	6. I don't get men I mean, males

_Blasphemy! I'm bringing Pip later on to the story. I know this makes no sense since Pickman was mentioned, which would mean this is with reference to the anime, but I like Pip a lot. He's fun. Plus he has cool hair. It was a request. _

_Plus this story doesn't make much sense anyway. It's kind of random in my opinion._

_DISCLAIMER: don't own crap… but I pwn in UT2004._

_

* * *

_

I don't get men.

Like I think I said once, men, alive or undead, are the same. As long as they are male, I don't seem to understand them. I am confused. Yes, women are also temperamental and weird sometimes but we do have excuses for this. We have enough problems with surfing the crimson wave once a month, but they have no excuse!

Clay is absolutely determined to make me his girlfriend. And I am absolutely determined to get that thought out of his head. It is amazing how ironic life is. Now that I don't want anything serious, I get a sweet and cute guy knocking on my door every other night, asking if I am ok. I get a kiss, a hug, and a tender good night. This would be incredibly sweet and I should be making cartwheels up and down my barracks in happiness, but the fact is that as I am at the door, most of the time there is a certain vampire hiding behind it, right beside me, tickling me with his 'thingies' as I say goodbye to my dirty blonde, blue eyed co-worker.

After our little... _encounter_ about a week and a half ago, Alucard continued to come a few times a week for blood as he had been doing. But I began to see how he would drink less and less; he would start, as always, drinking from my forearm from a self-inflicted cut, then little bites would travel up my arm... and suddenly we were making out on my bed. My arm completely ignored. Last night I found out his punishment was over a few days after our little... thing. Seras told me this. But with the marvels of his skills, the truth is I don't mind. I will play dumb and make him think I don't know anything.

So why am I complaining? Well, there is one thing that these two have in common; they won't go further than making out. It is pissing me off. Why are they doing this? I have no idea. Clay might be acting very gentlemanly, but I don't get Alucard. Him and his self-interest don't really make sense now.

I am too old for this.

It seems I WILL die a virgin.

Anyway, in other matters, it's my leave and I have to clean my room.

_(Depeche Mode - Dream On)_

God I love this song...

It moves me I can't help it... it makes me sway to the rhythm in less than Christian ways... I have always categorized Depeche Mode songs as foreplay music...

I circled my hips while singing into the broom as if it was my microphone, my other hand over my head.

I felt that peculiar sensation on my skin again.

I stopped.

And sighed.

"Vampire?"

"Human?"

"You are taking liberties I consider extremely violating..."

"Such as?"

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" I turned around and looked for him.

Nothing yet.

"I thought you said you would feed me today..."

"Ok... one, what ever happened to waiting outside the door... and two, it's a bit past noon, what are you doing up?..."

"I was just curious about what my _favorite_ human was doing." He finally appeared on my bed, lounging comfortably. I felt a bit weird remembering my skimpy appearance.

"'Favorite human'?" Of course his tone implied a big, fat lie.

"Yes."

"Get out, I am not dressed enough to feel comfortable with a guy in my room..."

"I'm no man..."

"You look like one enough to make me feel uncomfortable so leave..."

"How easily you forget--"

"What now"

"I have seen more than this of you"

"So."

He scanned me up and down and then tilted his head as he met my eyes.

"I think I'm getting the idea you are... deciding when you enter or leave my room... or how much you see or not see of me... and I am not liking this..."

"I do not follow, milady."

"Ok, I'm gonna be very serious with you, playful snapping aside and all..." I said and sat beside him on the border of the bed, facing him. " I want to know why were you here all night, I could feel you..."

Silence. He looked at me as if I was still speaking.

"Alucard."

"Yes?"

"Why where you here last night?"

"Why was Brendon here last night?"

"What does Clay have to do with my question?"

"Why do you question me and not him?"

I ignored his question.

"Why did you stay here, hidden in the shadows like some weird stalker..."

"Maybe I was doing what Brendon was doing..." He said but his tone was so fake.

"Clay was showing himself and his concern for me... I was hurt in the mission so he came to help. You were hiding in the shadows, peeping... it is never the same..."

"He has his humans ways I have mine..."

"Alucard I don't like it..."

Silence.

"I don't like you hiding in the corners of my room... it's not right..."

"Why?"

"Because I need my privacy! what do you mean why!"

"He was invading your personal space... at times I couldn't tell who's arm was who's... why am I getting questioned then?"

Silence. I glared at him. A lot.

"So now I have a Dad here... ok, let's get this straight... stay away from my room... unless I let you in, got it?"

Silence. He cocked his head.

"I know you heard me... so you are warned..."

"Warned?"

"I will go to Sir Hellsing if you continue this stupidity."

"... and I am sure she would love to hear about our little... _romps."_

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"I thought a good girl like you knew about the Golden Rule..."

"_'romps'?"_

"--don't do on to others... and all that nonsense..."

"Wait--are you--are you--"

"--as always, I will never understand--"

"I can't fucking believe this, you are sounding like a goddamn jealous boyfriend!"

"--humans--hmm?"

Silence.

"Is there something that makes you believe you have some right over me? Is that why you are taking these liberties with me?" I suddenly felt my muscles swelling. This happens whenever I feel threatened in battle.

He glared at me.

"You owe me for last night's books--."

"And I will gladly pay you, but never even _think_ this agreement gives you rights over me..." I said mad at him but controlling myself. He is still a vampire. "Take everything you need tonight ... the deal is off."

Silence.

I stood up and went to get my knife. I came back to a glaring vampire.

Silence. He stopped me as I was about to slash my arm.

"Not there." He almost mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I want your neck."

"No, if I give in to this I will end up a Mrs. Alucard by the way things look... no, my arm or nothing..."

"Milady--"

"No."

"This will be the last time, you said."

I sighed.

"Ok, fine, but you owe me, and this ends now." I said to end this nonsense.

"I will take much, I think it is better if you lie down."

"hmm... fine" I rested on the bed, knife in hand and he climbed up the bed beside me. I turned to my knife and then to him, me head snapping. "What happened?"

He was just in his shirt and pants.

"comfortable..."

"right..."

My dumb self made the cut on the opposite side of where he was sitting. But even before I realized it, he was sucking and licking my neck; almost leaning on half my body. I gulped and then knew... he had tricked me again.

In no time, again, we were on my bed making out.

_**(Missing scene. You can always read it at AFF, though it doesn't really change anything if you don't read it. It's just a little lime flavored action.)**_

(knock knock)

I heard him growl at the door. I didn't even realize someone was knocking until he looked that way.

"That kid is becoming a problem..." I heard his annoyed whisper.

"Hmm?"

A thought started to ring in my mind; judging by his comment and his actions, if he wants what I want so badly, then what the hell is he waiting for!

I knew he could read my mind so the fact that he ignored this thought made me furious. I have had enough of his teasing. What the hell is wrong with him.

My hands stopped moving. He opened his half lidded eyes fully, sensing something odd.

"... hmm... I see you've had enough..." I said lazily.

"I do think of my human..."

"Ok..." He stopped moving. He understood I was 'done'.

I began to almost squirm under him which meant he pretty much was done too. At least, with me.

"Good... I need to get ready... I am planning to do something tonight..."

"Oh?"

"Yes... it is my free day, remember?" I said fixing my beater and walking toward the bathroom. I turned on the shower and walked back to the room. He was still there.

"Milady should take good care of herself... I had quite a lot to drink..."

"I'm fine..." I dialed Clay. He wasn't picking up. I will leave a message then. "... hey Clay it's me... I want to go dancing... what do you say? Call me and let me know, ok? See ya!"

(click)

"You seem... a bit aggravated." He said slowly still on my bed, shirt in disarray, but looked so comfortable this could very well pass by his bed and room.

"... girl stuff. Don't worry... nothing that can't be fixed..." I answered simply and turned to him. "I meant the thing about my privacy, I'm gonna get ready..."

"I thought I owed you something? So ask..."

"Hmm yeah you do after all... I won't ask questions, I want something else..."

"Alright."

"Play for me."

"Pardon me?"

"Play for me... piano. After I'm done getting ready, I want you to play for me."

Silence.

"... or was it all talk...?"

"Fine, I will. Meet me in Integra's library tonight..."

"Tonight at what time."

"10."

"No, I am going out at that time, earlier."

"Then, cancel tonight and I will play for you"

Of course he grinned like a maniac.

"I am making the rules for this vampire... you owe me, it is not a favor..."

Silence. But the grin didn't go away.

"Alright. meet me at 8."

"Fine... see ya at 8."

And with this, he disappeared

* * *

"_Good evening..." An alien thought crossed my mind._

"_Good evening to you too..." _

Some soft lamps were turned on as I walked in the library, giving the place a greenish tint. He walked through a wall and I went to throw my jacket on the couch I chose to sit on.

"What's that?" I asked eying his hand.

"Wine..." He was looking attentively at me as I took the glass.

"Thankies... me likes zee wine..." I had some of it. "... hmm this is good..."

"Hellsing private collection... do not tell Integra..."

"I won't as long as you share... so how good are you?" I went to sit down.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Chopin... prepare my Goth mood, my friend"

"Something in particular?" He took a seat in front of the piano, still having wine.

"Nocturnes... anything is fine... except 9 no1... I'm sick of it already..."

"... it has been so abused..."

"I know..."

"We can start with a personal favorite..."

"Please..."

He had read my mind. Posthumous Nocturne; it fits him so well. All nocturnes are kind of melancholic but this one is one of the most, to my opinion. So I listened, rested my head back and looked at his hands and face as he played.

"You're good... very good..." I said as he finished the last note.

"Thank you very much, milady"

"And you remember it all? you're not reading right?"

"No."

"Wow... do you know the 27th?"

"Which part..."

He warmed his fingers a bit.

"Hmm... first one?

"Yes..."

"Can you?"

And again he began to play. Wow, he is damn good. I bet, all those years of practice, what can one expect? But I don't care what he says. There's more to interpreting than skill. There's emotion, something he prides in not having. The way his face slightly contorts as the song changes, tells me something different.

"I can see why you like this one..." He said as he was done.

"Why?"

"It is much like you..."

"Like me?"

"Adagios... crescendos, decrescendos... piano.. .then forte-piano..."

"Is that a nice way of saying I am moody?"

"Temperamental."

"Again... is that a nice way of saying I am moody?"

"... a bit..."

"Well it sounds good to me then... better than a boring telephone tone..."

"How can you dance with something so short?"

I was confused. And then remembered I was wearing a skirt.

"I can kill undead with something a bit longer, why not dance?"

"You wear something underneath your uniform..."

"How do you know I'm not wearing now?"

He half grinned and continued to warm his fingers with a simple, soft melody.

"You have X ray vision or something?"

"No... remember I have very good sight... and you have crossed and uncrossed your legs twice since you got here..."

"You are supposed to be playing... looking at the keys, Mr. Alucard..." I said sweetly.

"I know them by heart already... why waste a good opportunity?"

"You sound just like a man."

"Male, milady."

Silence.

"I have a question for you this time." He asked, his hands slowly coming to a halt.

"Ok... free of charge."

Silence. He came to sit beside me on the couch, his body turned a bit to face me.

"You do understand that there might be a chance that... the reason why you continue to be alive after all those times I come to you while starving, is _this_ you hate so much..." He said looking at his gloves.

"Yes."

"I want to understand then... why do you help me?"

"I thought you could read thoughts."

Silence.

"... because... you are what you are..." I said simply after a few seconds of thinking.

"Care to elaborate?"

"You see this?" I forced a smile. "I have three dimples here on this side of my cheek... but none on the other side... people think it's cute... Clay loves it."

"Hmm..."

"It's not a dimple... it's a scar... a huge dog almost ate half my face when I was little. It was a she. She was hurt on her back but I didn't see the wound... so I went to pet her but she went crazy all over me. My dad shot her to save me, I remember. All the kids in that neighborhood were terrified of dogs for a while. But not me... I just saw it as a reaction. A natural reaction. Instinct. I didn't see bad intentions in her. It sucked because I looked like shit for a while but... you know... you're a smart guy you know what I mean..."

"You are calling me a dog?" He said innocently but I knew he was just messing with me.

"No... a bitch..." I said and smiled a little. He smiled back. Yes smiled. " Well thank you... now I have to go, my friend..." I said dramatically and sprung up of the sofa, putting the goblet on the piano.

"So soon?"

"It's 9:20... I have to meet Clay at 9:30... you are a very talented creature... I hope this is not the last time you play..."

"When I have a worthy audience I will."

"Hey you know where I live, just ring and I'll come..." I said a bit.. happy and buzzed. I walked to him, pulled back his hair softly and pecked him on the lips.  
"Don't stay till too late, old man."

"Don't have too much fun, milady"

"Oh but I will" I grinned and began to walk away.

* * *

_Believe it or not, this is not a pairing. At least not a final one. You will see later on if you stick around._


	7. some secrets revealed

_Though this chapter might sound a bit anti-Integra, it is not. I love her to pieces and my favorite pairing is AxI, but for the sake of the story there is a bit of tension there. Things will begin to get complicated from now on. I hope I don't loose people because of this. _

_DISCLAIMER: don't own crap... though I do own a Hellhound plush toy that I finished a few days ago. It kicks. _

_There are little things that suggest a AU, specially when it comes to Pip and Seras. Take it this way. Since this story is flowing the way it is, I will write little guides before chapters if I feel the need. Or you can always ask me. I know what happens later on to him and her in the manga. Don't take it in consideration here just now. _

_Bear with me and with Pip's accent. I tried._

_

* * *

_

_(LA Woman - the doors)_

"I can't understand shit of what he's saying..." The Captain slurred. I almost didn't get what HE was saying.

"Same here... but I like it." I said as smoke slowly came out my moving lips.

It was a horrible mission tonight. We lost a lot of men. Captain Bernadette was not in the best of moods when I found him sitting around his barracks having a beer. I asked for a cigarette, I offered more beer, so we ended up in my room having some cigs and beer and feeling a bit better. I couldn't go to sleep. I was not only sad but angry at that scum that attacked us.

We were both on our backs on the floor, listening to The Doors. He said the last time he did was about 3 years ago. It brought him good memories.

"LA Womaaaaaaannn... LA Womaaaaaannnn... zats all I get..."

I laughed out loud. There's nothing funnier than a drunk guy with a heavy French accent trying to carry a tune. Yeah, we can say I was drunk.

"... same here..."

"...if zey say I never loved you..." He's still singing.

"...they know they are a-lyinggg." And I continued singing too.

"Zats what eet says?"

"I dunno... I think so..."

More laughs.

"Do you have Riders on the Storm?"

"... yeah..." He stood up and went to change the song. He almost tripped though. I laughed like a retard.

He sighed as he landed again on the floor beside me.

"You are good friends of ze police girl right?"

"... oui." I imitated him.

"... and you talk about women zeengs?"

"Yeahhhhh..."

"How different is she from a normal woman...?"

"Meaning..."

"Does she... _function_ like one..."

"'Function'?"

"I'll just tell you, girl... I want to shag, she won't let me do it..."

"Oh no! Why? I hate people!"

"What happened, luv?"

"I have the same problem!" I said looking toward him with a pout.

"You do?"

"Yeah! I hate men!"

"It's a consinsssspirancy..." He tried to pronounce the word.

I laughed as if there was no tomorrow.

"... or somezeeng like zat..."

"Give her time... it-it's... she hasn't done it before..." I whispered that last thing.

"Oh?..."

"Yeah... be patient, little grasshopper..."

"Little?" He said looking at his crotch.

I pushed his side playfully.

"I didn't know Brendon was gay..."

"He's not gay!—hey! How do you know?"

"He's not shagging you by choice, girl? He's gay--."

"He's NOT gay..."

"--if you were not friends with ze police girl--."

"PIP!" I punched his arm softly. Yeah, he insisted that I stopped calling him Captain. "... there's someone else I'm seeing and he kind of ruins the moments..."

"Who else?"

"...someone... I can't tell you..."

"I know him?"

"I'm not sure."

"... c'mon! Tell, girl..."

"I caaaaan't!"

"So is he gay too?"

"No one is gay!... it's just—I don't know what his problem is..."

"Yep, he's gay."

"You don't understand."

"I don't understand their 'not-shagging-you'."

"I hate their willpower."

"They're gay... move on, girl."

"... whatever... treat Seras well... she's the sweetest girl..."

"She's a good girl, alright..."

"Don't force her..."

"Help me then, luv." He said jokingly trying to hug me.

"... with what--get off!"

"I need love..."

"You have two hands... take a pick."

"Nah... but I could help you--."

"Stop it!" I knew he was joking.

He began to crack up hysterically.

"I like your hair..." I said playing with his long braid.

"Don't mess it up..."

"Oop, sorryyyyy..."

(knock knock)

"We are not here!" Pip yelled. Again I began to laugh.

"Don't yell!"

"Don't take my clothes off so fast, girl!"

"I AM NOT DOING THAT YOU IDIOT!" I said laughing as I stood up and walked toward the door.

"I can take Brendon... and even your other guy..."

"Shut up..." More laughs as I opened the door. "Hi girl!"

"... hi..." It was Seras who had knocked. She looked a bit confused.

"Hey! Look who's here!" I said putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her in. She still felt confused.

"... police girl... what took you so long?" Pip asked his head upside down.

"... I-I didn't know--you... were here..." She was surprised too I could tell. And didn't know what to think.

"Ok, lovebirds... I'm taking one beer and leaving you two to your... business..." I giggled like a school girl.

"Byeeeee luvvv... a pleasure..." Pip said from the floor.

"Same here Mon Amie... nighty night!" I said raising my beer bottle and leaving my room.

I closed the door and thought... ok, where am I going now...

I walked around having my beer and a cig I stole from Pip. Clay should be in his room... hmm, I guess I will sleep there with him.

I walked there, only to find no one. This sucks... where will I sleep? The vampire surely will not be there. It's his peak time. But I have no choice. I don't want to walk in these two doing the nasty or something. So off I go to the mansion.

I had finished the cig and beer a while ago. I zig-zagged a bit toward the house, my breath fogging my sight. It was cold and kind of humid too.

As I stepped inside the mansion, I realized the stupidity I was doing. But I was already inside and walking toward the stairs. There was nothing I could do. I almost giggled at what I was doing, but hey, what the hell. I slowly walked down the stairs and finally reached the sub levels. I wasn't sure where his room was but I was feeling adventurous; so I kept walking and walking down the long corridor.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness the further down I went. I made out a chair, a throne-looking chair at the end of the hallway. I walked to it, knowing I had found something. Him more specifically. My head, a bit buzzed still, looked around. Until my eyes, adjusting more and more to the darkness found what I had been looking for... and a little more; the vampire, pining someone against one of the darkest walls of the place.

I am weird and crazy. My reactions are always strange I am told; yeah I accept it, and buzzed I score a 10 in randomness. So I walked toward him and his company very slowly and smoothly; as I have been taught in years of martial art training. Un-root, relax, make your auric weight almost disappear... all that. I smiled, grinned more like it. Well, well... busted, vampire.

I saw a head of very very light almost platinum blonde hair, peeking from behind his shoulder. Heads are slowly rocking as if drowned in a kiss. His hands are against the wall, something he likes to do. Not touching the... woman it seems... just kissing her. I get closer and closer. Shit, I am brave. I walk almost around the couple and have to bite my lip to stop a chuckle. Well, well, who do we have here...

Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing.

Exterminator of everything undead.

Protestant to her socks.

Kissing a vampire in his room.

By the look of her hands, stiff and floating insecurely in the air... not knowing what to do. My Commander, not knowing what to do. Priceless.

I walk toward the couple, grinning slightly but... they are not aware of my presence.

Shit, I'm good.

I am standing, a bit over a foot away from them, at their side, my shoulder leaning against the wall. This is awesome! They must be enjoying themselves to no end!

Oh, power is a beautiful thing.

(hiccup!)

I cover my mouth almost mockingly as they stop and jump, her eyes getting as big as plates.

I turn to the vampire. "... you're busy... hm... wow, you do get around the place, huh?" I am so drunk.

I swear I could almost sense a grin coming from him.

I reached for his cravat and pulled him to me for a kiss. In his shock, he went with it, absently and lacking much of his skill. I brushed his teeth with my tongue and then backed my face away from his, letting his cravat go.

"I'll go sleep somewhere else then... sorry..." I looked at her, her eyes as big as watermelons and her hands still in the air, in shock.

I saluted.

Then turned around trying to not zig-zag too much.

I can't believe I just did that.

The other two better be done by now.

* * *

"First floor is clear... you may proceed" I heard a male voice on the radio. 

"Roger that..." I said into the mic.

I walked, ducking and very alert, inside the building. The stench was hideous. These were crappy freaks I could tell. Messy. No class at all.

"_... class? Since when those cockroaches have such thing?" A very well known male voice tickled my mind._

"_I am very sorry Nosferatu Sir... I forgot that it is only a gift given to your kind and only your kind..."_

"_How bitter you... think, milady... is it something I said?... or is it something I did...?"_

My knife buzzes through the air.

One ghoul down.

"_pardon me if it upset you so much, milady..."_

"_Upset me?_

"_... after all you were not supposed to be there..."_

"_... right..."_

Another knife leaves my hand.

Another one down.

"_Did you come all the way from the comforts of your coffin to not understand a joke, vampire? Or are you gonna help me here..."_

"_You don't sound amused..."_

"_... oh really?"_

"_Rather aggravated, I would say..."_

"_You have a wild imagination, vampire..."_

"_Yes... I can't wait to show you what I have planned for us to do next time we meet, milady..."_

"_right..."_

I throw two knives as twins and with a twist of my wrist they separate half way through the air and hit two targets.

"_Gotcha."_

"_That was quite exquisite."_

"_Careful... don't get a hernia by complimenting me."_

"Second floor is clear Sir." I said into the mic.

"Retreat Officer... trash disposal unit taking over."

"Roger that Captain... out."

"_Break a leg... in various parts..." I sing-songed._

"_Thank you, such a dear always..."_

"_Hey you know me."_

"_And what a pleasure it is." His chuckle tickled my brain._

I walked out of the building and toward the van.

Yeah, we can say my ego is bruised. Damn him.

* * *

_I got a "Provocative" in a review. Wow, thanks a lot._

_I hope this doesn't get too complex that I loose people. Reviews let me know how everything is going. If it's not too much of a hassle, please let me know how I am doing. Thanks again for reading! _


	8. what the HELL did I get myself into

_Ok, again I have a dilemma with this chapter._

_I understand not everyone can go to AFF. So what I will do, since this is an important chapter, I will have two versions. One in AFF and one here. I will tone down as much as I can the one here, without having to change the rating. I hate changing ratings in the middle of stories, but the truth is that this one is writing itself. It's almost as if I can't control it. So just so you know, there are two versions. You are free to read both. But don't get me in trouble here; parents calling me in the middle of the night to yell at me, is not nice. _

_Or I can just disconnect my phone. Yeah, I will do that._

_Disclaimer: don't own crap... not even my wireless connection. He he._

_

* * *

_

I got a letter.

And the worst thing I could have done was read it before going to a mission. I excused myself for today; said I was terribly sick. I could not move. I felt as if the world had closed in on me.

Why him? He had been nothing but a saint; my protector, my friend. I know all I know thanks to him. It's not fair. And I wasn't there. Why did he have to die like this?

It was not a sickness. It was not an accident.

It was the thing I am here fighting against.

I hate them all, I hate them.

"_The Officer is sick, how sad…"_

"… leave me alone." I said aloud, absently, curled on the bed, in my uniform. I sniffled until my head felt swollen.

"_I have to say I have missed you… your blood is just so delicious…"_

"… leave... please..." I whispered as tears kept running down my cheeks to the bed.

"_You haven't been the only one spoiled, milady."_

"I can't now... go away." I didn't even realize he was just pushing the issue, since our agreement was off. I was not thinking straight.

"… _such a human trait... I heard big girls don't cry... I thought you were above these things..."_

"Alucard, I'm warning you..."

"… _oh, you are?... this is why you will not go to work?"_

Silence.

"… _silence... hm... nothing better for our self-aggrandizing therapy than thinking that everything suddenly stops because of a little… predicament." _

I jumped out of bed, took my gun in my hand and walked out the room, hair flying in all directions. My eyes were burning with tears of anger, my head going from one side to the other looking for him.

And then I saw him

I almost ran toward the vampire. He was standing against the wall, his arms crossed and his head low.

I cocked my gun.

I put it under his chin.

And buried it there; in that hollow past the bone toward the throat and raised his head with it.

"You can read my thoughts fucking idiot, you know I'm not sick--what is your fucking problem..."

"Why are you so mad at me? It was not I who killed him..."

"But it is YOU who mocks me and is egocentric enough to come asking for blood right now!"

"Oh? I am egocentric? So my hunger can wait because milady has a ... problem?"

"This is NOT a problem..." I said making his head bump against the wall behind him. "... to not be able to pay one's bill is a problem... having the safety stuck on your gun is a problem... spilling a coke on the floor is a problem... I just lost the only person I can call family in this world and you call this a problem? A fucking monster like you did this! How dare you call this a problem--." A sob made me choke on my own saliva. I had to recover my breath. "… the only problem I have is you right now."

"How dare I? ... and how dare you call my problems smaller than yours?"

"THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM!"

"Will shooting me make you feel better? Is that it?"

"Maybe."

"Shoot me then... avenge his death."

"Don't tempt me."

"Do it."

"Shut up..."

"Yes! Shoot me! You have silver bullets! It is all it takes! I did not kill him but... shoot me! That will work of course."

"You mock me--you are a monster!"

"Yes... just like the one that killed--."

I slapped him.

Silence.

I slapped him again.

"Third one is always a charm... you might bring him back if you put enough strength--."

I slapped him twice.

I began to cry again. I stared at a button on his shirt and cried. My shoulders shook and my legs began to fail me. I covered my face with both hands and swayed forward, my forehead landing on his chest. I didn't back away. I sobbed into my hands leaning against the creature, his body stiff and cold and hard. He didn't move to comfort me, or push me away after I had repeatedly slapped him and put a gun to his head. He just stayed there. And I just cried my eyes out.

I felt his hand taking the gun away from my hand. It was almost buried on my eyebrow by now. He whispered something like... 'you don't want to accidentally shoot yourself do you?' ... but that was it. Still he wouldn't move.

After a lot of crying I stood on my feet again and calmed myself down. He gave me back my gun and I looked up at him, his face straight and emotionless. I sniffled and sighed as I prepared to speak.

"I think we agreed this was over."

Silence.

I saw how his head snapped toward the stairs and suddenly disappeared. I heard footsteps coming closer.

"Clay?" I said my voice carried a spark of emotion.

"… are you crying--what is it?"

I didn't answer him I just walked to him and he opened his arms to me. I started to cry again into his shoulder as his hands rubbed my back. God I needed this.

He didn't ask any questions. Just let me cry into his shoulder for a while. His hands caressed me, comforting, in the sweetest way.

"Let's go inside..." He whispered into my ear as we walked inside my room. He closed the door behind us and I walked to the bed.

He sat beside me and gave me another hug. I told him about what had happened; about the letter, about my Sifu being killed by vampires.

How I didn't have anyone else.

How I had trained with him all my life. And now he was gone.

He crawled up my bed, boots off, taking off his dirty shirt from the mission, a white beater under it. I crawled to him and rested on his chest, trying to calm down. I curled into his arms, feeling so small. No one said a word.

"are you cold? You have goose bumps--."

"I'm ok, really..." I said into his shirt, knowing this reaction well. He was here. Why, I didn't care.

Slowly, I started to feel very very tired. I couldn't keep my eyelids open anymore. So slowly, with his hands caressing my back... I fell asleep.

But sleep didn't last for long.

Clay was behind me, his body spooned with mine. His arms were around me, in such a nice warm embrace. He was asleep. It was almost dawning.

And I could feel the vampire in here too.

"_Why are you still here."_

_Silence._

"_I know you're here..."_

_No reply._

"_Is it blood you want? I will give it to you then…"_

_Nothing._

"… _no? Then... why are you here..."_

_Silence._

"_Fine."_

I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I tried to ignore his presence and relax into Clay's embrace.

"_Dying... is not so bad..." I felt that tickle in my brain._

"_Hmm?"_

"_It is quite... peaceful..."_

"… _really?"_

"_Yes..."_

"_How painful is it before dying?"_

"_I don't seem to recall that pain exactly…"_

"_Tell me what you remember..."_

"_I remember coldness... something cold starting at my head and slowly reaching my toes... I remembered, dear memories; your life does flash before your eyes... as cliché as it sounds..."_

"_Go on."_

"… _I began to feel everything far away... sounds left me slowly... my fingers tingled and my eyes felt stiff... I couldn't look around, I couldn't control them... they just slowly, very slowly, started to unfocus on their own... I remember fearing what was coming next..."_

_Silence._

"… _then the only sound I could hear was the beating of my heart... and the only thing I could feel, was the beating of my heart... I could even see it and smell it... taste it... it was just my heart... so I clung to it... realizing how important it was all my life... how it was always there but never really paid attention to it, unless I was--." He trailed off. "... but then, as the beating became slower and slower, again I feared... but this time, for its absence..."_

_Tears fall down my cheeks._

"_Then... silence. No cold, no ticklish sensation, no noise, no heart, no light, no smells... it's a vast nothingness... so I said to myself... 'this is not so bad...'" He stopped again. "... Peace. Dying is peace. You fear the ultimate unknown which is death, but not because it is bad. You just don't know what it is. And I am telling you. It is not bad... not bad at all..."_

_Tears came down my cheeks more and more but now a smile stretched on my face. It stretched naturally. I didn't even realize it after some time. _

"_I'm glad he is ok, then."_

_Silence._

"_Thank you... I think something like this is the only thing that could make everything better."_

_Silence._

"_Come here... you want blood…"_

_Silence._

"… _please..."_

I saw him appear, sitting on the floor beside my bed, his back toward me a little. He looked my way, his hat and glasses off. I slowly rested on my elbows, trying not to wake up Clay and put my finger on his lips. But he didn't open them.

My hand moved to his hair, his eyes looking at my hand attentively. I tenderly brushed it back. His hair is so soft. He didn't do anything or say anything about this gesture of mine. But the truth is... he had told me what anyone who has lost someone wants to hear.

And then he disappeared, my hand feeling a thousand feathers caressing it as he vanished. I rested again in between Clay's arms and tried to sleep.

But I could still feel him in my room.

* * *

I woke up to a weight on half my body. I was still dressed I could feel; even my boots were still on. And here was Clay, asleep beside me. I looked at him; still dressed. 

He stayed with me. How sweet.

It is early I can tell. The clock tells me its morning.

I softly caressed his face; he's so damn good looking. And sweet as a man can be. And he is after me. This stupidity ends right now. What the hell am I thinking...

I leaned softly and kissed his lips. They trembled a bit, feeling something against them. I smiled. He didn't move. I leaned over and kissed him again, this time licking delicately his closed lips... until they began to move. He was waking up I could tell, because I felt his hand on my back, bringing me over him. I chuckled into his lips and he breathed in, a deep deep breath.

"Am I dreaming?" He whispered.

"No..." I whispered back.

"Is it you?"

"... yeah..."

"... good, good..."

I chuckled against his lips again as we kissed, my body landing on his, getting comfortable by straddling his legs. To some point, it is weird to feel his warmth. I am more used to the vampire's coolness. But I guess this is the normal thing...

I was preparing myself for a making out session as always. But I was surprised when I saw our first layers of clothing on the floor in no time. It was all looking good, though I have to be honest; I had been spoiled by the vampire. There was something... missing. I felt weird realizing this. But there was something that—no, no I can't even think that.

STOP COMPARING! This is a nice guy. C'mon! Geez I'm such an idiot...

_"... milady..."_

I ignored the very well known 'term of endearment' used by the monster and continued to kiss my cute co-worker. Things were only getting better as time passed, but again an alien thought distracted me.

_"What is this perfidious act, milady..."_

I opened my eyes. I didn't like his tone. It sounded... tense. I tried to relax and enjoy. I was not going to get distracted by him.

_"I have been betrayed..."_

I opened my eyes again. What is he talking about? Is he here?

Clay stopped moving and raised his upper body with his arms. He looked away and frowned. Maybe he felt him too. Goddamn vampire!

"I-I need to go..." He said suddenly, his face looking thoughtful.

"... g-go! What do you--."

"Yeah, I have to--go, I don't know there's something I have to do..."

"What!"

"I'm sorry, I forgot... I'm very sorry..."

"No-no wait..." I said as I knelt when I saw him almost jump out of my bed and start to get dressed. "... Tell me what is it you have to do..."

"... uh-- I-- I don't know, but I do have to go... those things happen to me--." He had his jeans on already.

"Think and try to remember if you _really_ have to go..."

"Yes... I'm very sure."

"No.. No there's something too weird..." He was pulling down his shirt.

"I'm sorry luv, I'll come back once I'm done ok? I promise..."

"... damn you, fucking monster..." I whispered, wanting to behead someone.

"What?"

"No... no never mind... go we'll talk later..."

"Please don't be upset--I really have to go..."

"Go on, we'll talk later I'm not mad at you..."

"Ok..." He came over to kiss me but I turned away. "... you are mad."

"No, I'm just-- we'll talk later..." I said and began to put my underwear on.

"Ok..." He sounded sad.

And he was out of my room.

Where the fuck are you goddamn daemon.

My patience had reached its limit. I waited until I could not listen anymore to Clay's footsteps when I started to breathe erratically and looking around.

"Come out... who the fucking hell do you think you are!"

But my anger turned into panic as I felt a cold hand wrap itself strongly around my neck from behind. Then I feel that hand pushing me forcefully against the wall and rapidly turning me around.

It was Alucard.

And he didn't look very happy.

"It was you who made him leave-- what the hell is wrong with you!" I tried to be proud and strong but his eyes didn't look like always; they were bigger in size and a sea of changing tones of red; from burgundy to bright red. I gulped as I saw him move closer, his palms rested at the sides of my face against the wall.

"... you have betrayed me..." He whispered into my ear at the time that the rest of his clothed body came in contact with mine.

"Wha--"

"You don't seem to understand..." He purred rubbing his nose against my cheek. "... you are _mine_..."

"Alucard--." I was not angry anymore, more like terrified. He was being delicate, but he felt tense; he could snap in any moment. He felt dangerously angry.

"Every part of your body—every little crevice or wound-- the blood that runs through your veins... _mine_... no one will spoil you, if it is not me..."

"... Spoil--?"

"... you say that night was the last time... but I doubt it is your will... you want it too..." He seemed in some kind of... daze.

"What are you talking about Alucard..." I spoke sweetly trying to soothe him. He looked about to snap. Or snap my neck.

"... eventually, you will become a part of me... and then I would give you what you want... but only then..."

I reached for him slowly, not wanting him to think that any movement from me was a dangerous one. My hand landed softly on his arm and as I thought, when I did, he reacted as if I he wasn't expecting it.

But finally I understood what was happening.

He wanted to keep me a virgin. He wanted my virgin blood.

He wanted to make me a vampire. I remembered that time at the balcony.

And in all this, he got the strange idea that I was his.

"_... Concern_ to a monster smells so... extraneous at first... exotic..." He kept rubbing his face, sans hat and glasses, against mine, still in that daze. "I'm intoxicated with it now... addicted... and I will not find it anywhere else, I know this..."

"Aluc--."

"Oh that night... remember the balcony... I was more than intoxicated... it was a good thing you sent me away... because I would not have been able to restrain myself... or that time in the car... again that night... I would have made mad love to you all night--."

I am shaking like a leaf... he sounds so not like himself.

"Why have you betrayed me?" His tone changed to a controlled and tense one.

"I-I..." I wanted to cry.

"If I hadn't intervened, you would be--."

"Please don't hurt me." I whispered, tears came down my eyes, as I realized that pieces of paint covering the wall behind me where falling on my shoulders; paint that used to be under his angered fingers.

"No... No... I can't hurt you, my dear..." His mouth went back to my ear... a soft kiss. "... Even if I could, I would not hurt you..."

"I didn't betray you."

"Yes you did..." His tone was back to that dangerously calmed one.

"I didn't know any of this..."

"Yes you did..."

"No, I didn't." My voice was regaining strength.

"You were acting in revenge for what you saw in my chambers."

"Alucard... I am not yours... or any of the like..." I prepared for the worse.

His head snapped to in front of mine.

"Yes you are..."

"No I'm not..."

"Yes you are!"

"No!"

He slowly came closer to me, rage in his eyes.

"I will not loose you to a _human_, do you hear me--."

"This has nothing to do with him--."

"--If it is not a god or the like, I will not desist--."

"I am nobody's! I am my own person I don't belong to anyone and I don't know what made you thi--."

He hissed at me.

And a sob escaped my lips.

"... You are afraid of me?" He asked half in shock and the other half in realization.

"Can you blame me?"

I began to breathe in shaky breaths and gulped more tears.

"Get out of my room now..." I almost whispered.

"He will come back."

"... Get. Out..." I had to remember his seals and that he couldn't hurt me, but I was too scared. "... Start with backing away from me right now."

He growled softly.

"I want to be alone right now, vampire. I mean it..." But my tone was as weak as it could get and be audible.

He slowly backed away from the wall and from me. His face was still straight, almost no expression. I slid down the wall, my butt hitting the floor.

He disappeared after a few seconds.

What the hell did I get myself into...

* * *

_Ok, this is to whoever thought he was acting too civilized and nice. Scary Alucard really makes my day. I guess I'm just weird._


	9. Modern Relationships for Dummy vampires

_DISCLAIMER: don't own nada ... wished I had a clean canvas right now boo hoo._

* * *

Big storm tonight. Very low visibility which will affect tonight's mission.

If there is any.

I have been avoiding the vampire for these last two nights. I have been with Seras or Pip or just with people around, so if he shows up then he would have to behave himself. My fear towards him has been subsiding. I didn't want to tell Seras what had happened and what had been happening with her Master, but I was feeling overwhelmed. I had to speak to someone. She was a bit upset at me at first because I didn't tell her before, but later understood. I could get fired for this, if the thing went around. Plus he is not exactly adored by the rest of the personnel.

I could get the _leper_ treatment; whatever that means.

So I made her promise to not tell Pip. I have the feeling she told him about Clay.

But it's time to fix this mess. I can't hide forever. So I went to my room, took a shower and began to clean my guns. I'm not a gun person; I had basic training but it was here where I became good with them. Knives are my thing. So cleaning them is something I'm still learning how to do.

(knock knock knock)

I don't know why I know it's him. I breathe very deeply, put my guns down, and walk to the door.

I was right.

"What can I do for you?" I greeted him trying to control my body's urge to start shaking. He must have bumped his nose with my defensiveness.

"I've been meaning to speak to you..."

"Ok."

Silence.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Would you like to step out then?"

"Fine..." I said and closed the door behind me.

I stood in front of him, never with my back against the wall. I had to also make him understand with my body language that I was not taking his shit.

"I wish to apologize for hurting you, if I did, Monday morning..."

"Hurting me..."

"I forgot how humans can't take a simple tossing towards a wall..."

Silence. I am glaring. My eye is twitching.

"I am not done, milady."

"Go on then..." I breathed in deeply; please control yourself, girl.

"But I do not apologize for what I _said_..."

"_That_ you should be _very_ sorry about..."

"But I am not, milady..."

"Ok... then let me ask you something, 'cause I'm curious as hell..." I said putting my loose long bangs behind my ears angrily. "What makes you think I am all of a sudden, _your property_..."

"It is something I want..."

"Oh!..." I said mocking surprise. "So it was nothing you saw in me or a mixed signal I sent... it is just, because you wish it this way, right?"

"Yes..."

"This will be easier than I thought..." I chuckled sarcastically, and then cleared my throat. "... news flash, Alucard... we're not in the 15th century anymore... women are not _taken_ today. We _choose _as much as you used to do--and obviously keep doing--and if a man and a woman, or whatever--I'm very open minded--choose each other, Bingo! You have a couple... do you understand this?"

"I understand the logic behind it, but I don't share that opinion..."

"I can see you don't by your little tantrum Monday..."

"This explanation changes nothing in my eyes..."

"Oh yes it _will_... because we want something it doesn't mean it's ours... I want a million dollars but I don't see it--"

"I can give it to you--"

"That's not the point."

"Well it is how it also works, milady. One claims a woman, one satisfies every desire of that woman... this is how Queens are made..."

"Queens--." Is he talking stupidities again?

"Yes..."

"What the hell are you talking about--."

"Oh?... you think I have been a slave all my life?"

"I am not following and I don't see how this is of any relevance--."

"I have been a slave for a little over a century... I have done way more than serve Hellsing and Elizabeth..."

"I don't see how this is an excuse for your behavior..."

"I was once King; don't think you are talking to a no-name slave."

I hate my curiosity. "King... what do you mean Elizabeth--it's Her Majesty the--."

"Her reign is barely one of Royalty... it is a joke; it is just an ornament..."

"King?"

"Wallachia."

"Wal--." Sounds so familiar.

"Southeast Romania now, milady..." He walked toward me, one step then the other. "I know you are educated enough to know what I am talking about..."

Silence.

He's got to be fucking kidding me...

"No... You can't be..." I whispered, thinking aloud.

"Why not?" He grinned reading my thoughts.

"... you are not real..." I stepped back a little.

"Yes I am... I am in history books." He said this last thing playfully.

"You're making this up..."

"574... do the math."

Silence.

"This is a joke right..."

"No, a joke would be less boring..."

"You can't be Vlad Dracula..."

He bowed.

My eyes were bigger by the second. "Tepes."

"Oh... that thing—you did pronounce it right, by the way--." He said almost impressed.

"But you are dead!"

"We can say I am in a way..."

"No! No!—you are _dead_! Even if we talk about Dracula—the vampire, you're dead!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes! Van Hel--."

Silence.

Hellsing... Helsing... am I that dumb?

"Captured." He said answering my mental questions.

"Wha--."

"Captured... not killed... silly old man..."

Silence.

"So it is true..." My eyes were not getting any smaller.

"That book is a pack of lies, yes... but one or two things... well..."

Silence. I am staring at him a lot.

"I need to sit..." I said and did just that on the floor.

He walked in front of me and bent his knees to level as much as he could with my face. He looked at me with a tilted head, and half smirked. I looked back at him, but this time with different eyes at this revelation.

Everything fitted. How didn't I see this before?

"You should sue those who did your portraits..." I blurted out softly.

"Hmm?" He was a bit confused.

"You look ugly as my life in them."

"Thank you, milady." He said with a grin.

I held him by his cravat and pulled him closer to my face.

"I am not impressed, Vlad or whatever I should call you..."

"Alucard is fine."

"Whatever... I am not your property, or anything even close to it. Impale me if you want, hang me from a post... but I am NOT yours, do you understand me?" His smirk began to vanish.

"You enjoy my company and my touch... I don't understand your self-righteousness."

"It's not morals, Alucard..." I let him go but he was still close to my face. "... now a days you do not posses--for starters--and that which you enjoy in any way, doesn't have to become a … formality."

"I am confused by your last statement."

"We are nothing... just two people who enjoy each other's company and touch, as you said..."

"Where do you get all this craziness from?"

"Craziness? This is how I work... I believe there are others who think this way but I won't say it's the way the world works or anything, because now a days, there is more freedom in the way people handle their business... but this is how I work... and you will have to deal with it... or not deal with me at all..."

"This is absurd..." He stood up and walked away, around me, away from my sight.

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you..." I said to myself almost. I don't know but it was a bit... funny.

"Who can agree to this arrangement?"

"Clay does." I shouldn't have said that.

"So this is why?"

"Why what."

"You want to be with him?"

"He's nice and cute... and I'm not _with_ him."

Silence.

"I was going to sleep with him, if that's what you mean, because he was wiling and I wanted to!... and why am I giving you explanations about my business!" I scolded myself.

"This is not the conduct of a woman..."

"You mean a _respectable_ woman..." I said sarcastically.

Silence.

"Go get yourself one, then..."

"I know who I want..."

"Then deal with it..." I stood up and walked toward my room. "... I have to clean my guns or I won't hear the end of it from Pip..."

"I am not finished."

"We are going around in circles! It's stupid!" I walked inside my room.

"Let me in."

"No."

"I will walk in even if you don't let me in."

I cocked my clean gun. "Come in and I'll shoot you."

"Shoot me then... you well know even that will do but a scratch on me..."

"I don't care..." He appeared at the door, still outside. I could see him over my gun. "...I will shoot Alucard."

"Shoot."

"You threw me against a fucking wall!" I almost yelled. "You could've killed me!"

"I knew what I was doing... I would not hurt you, not even if I was free to do it..."

"Your definition of violence and mine is not the same. And I don't like yours. It scares me. I'm smart enough to back away of a thing like this."

"What does this mean?"

"Even if you agreed to my _arrangement_ I would say NO... you do not know how to deal with humans now a days..."

"I don't believe you."

"Fine don't."

"Your thoughts tell me something different."

I hate it when he's right.

Silence.

"You will look for him after we are done." He said seriously.

"It is none of your business."

"I won't allow it."

"If you hurt him in any way I will go to Hellsing and tell on you."

"You will be punished too."

"But after you and that would make me very happy."

Silence.

I'm still aiming at him.

"You know you wouldn't."

"Oh really? Why..."

"Your concern for me won't let you... I can smell it coming from you..."

Silence. I lowered my gun quickly with a sigh. I still don't have his reasons for this! Why is he acting this way!

"When one has lived as long as I have... habit becomes not only something that is tied to time, but a way of life. In my _life_ as a Nosferatu, concern is not something I am exposed to. So I know how to live without it. Integra felt it as a child, but as she grew up, it slowly left her, taught by me, that any emotion was a weakness. It completely disappeared as she saw no use in it because of my power. I grew accustomed to not being in the other end of it. But now it has come back in you, and I don't want it to go away again..."

"Seras does too..."

"She is my child, it is expected."

I clicked my tongue.

Silence. I walked closer to him.

"_You_ are _concerned_ about my blood and for it to continue running the way it is... that is not very selfless. And I don't see any connection between this and you liking my concern for you."

"I never said I was selfless."

"Then it's not me you want! There are enough virgins around, go find another one that will let you do whatever the hell you want--!"

"They are not you, milady."

"Jesus..." I walked to him. "Let me give you a little example why this is just stupid and crazy... that day I learned about my Sifu dying... I was broken in pieces; you laughed at me, you mocked my pain... I stood there crying like a little girl and you never laid a hand on me in support... or _concern_... I needed at least a quick hug but you don't do such _low human acts_... now tell me, do you think that after that, I would really want to be yours?"

"I gave you something even more practical."

"This is not about practical Alucard... this is a side of me, of humans you do not understand."

"I gave you something you wanted to hear, milady. I didn't see you sound as sleep after Brendon's embrace. He was, but not you. Once I had answered that question about death, you went to sleep soundly. Do you think a hug would really solve your problems?"

"They won't but I like them." I know he's right, I know it. But I won't let him win.

"So you would have had the embrace in place of my words... even though you know this will bring you more tranquility..."

Silence.

"Those are things from you humans I do not understand. You enjoy making your lives harder. It is so idiotic at times..."

Silence.

He was right again. He heard my thoughts because he smiled.

"You have the understanding to go against many idiocies humans do. And I like it."

"I stand where I stand. I am telling you the same I told Brendon. I do not want any kind of commitment so do not expect one. This means, in your language, that I am NOT yours, I do what I please with my body AND I do not give any explanations to you..."

"In my mind, you ARE mine, NO ONE will touch you if it is not me, AND I will read every thought of yours, I won't even ask..."

I scoffed. There was no use in fighting with him about this anymore. "Like _you_ can order me around… give me a break, I don't fucking care who you are or were 500 years ago..." I spun around, my brown hair slapping against his chest. My guns were waiting for me, so I went to sit and continue with my chore.

He chuckled. "Marvelous... I enjoy much those little outbursts of yours... so beautiful..."

I gave him the finger.

But I couldn't help but smile. I shook my head and he chuckled some more. My hands became a bit clumsy and couldn't put the damn gun together again.

He walked to me and took the apparatus away from my hands delicately. His big hands handled the thing in the swiftest way and taking the other parts in his hands, he began to easily put it together.

"Hmm..." He said looking at my gun.

"What..."

"You missed a spot here..."

"Where..."

As I leaned toward the gun, I felt his lips under my ear. But he backed away after the kiss.

He chuckled.

"How can I fall for something like this..." I said trying not to smile taking my gun away from him... well part of the gun.

"There _are_ some spots you let pass..."

I put my head back and almost yelled at the ceiling..."I. Hate. Guns!"

He stayed there as I tried to understand the thing in my hands and tried to put it back together. But my mind was going through the whole conversation again. And there was just a big question.

Why.

What was his real interest besides the blood?

I never had any problems with him before, why now?

"As possessive as a little beast..." I whispered half smiling.

"That I am... but I am not little..." He said again that sensuous smile of his. He looks so goddamn hot when he smiles.

"That I know..." Is the room getting hot or is it just me. I clicked my tongue. "I'm mad at you, fuck off..." I said lowering my eyes to the gun in my hands.

He chuckled.

"You don't _smell_ mad..." His eyes went to my lap.

"One has no privacy with you, vampire." I said not looking at him.  
I felt his cold lips under my ear. As he began to plant wet kisses there, his hand started coming up my leg, sliding smoothly in between my crossed thighs, slowly making them uncross...

My cloudy vision came to rest on the door in front of me and distinguished a silhouette standing there.

I had left the door open.

I blinked.

… and in the immortal words of the mercenary…

"Shit-fuck..." I whispered. The vampire's head, sensing my tension, snapped toward the door.

"The door was open, I could not knock... pardon my intrusion..." The older man said with a bow, looking at the floor.

"It's ok Walter..." I said and Alucard softly slid his hands off me and stood up, walking away to my shelf.

"Miss Seras would like to know if you would like to accompany her and Captain Bernadette for dinner at the gym."

"Yea--yeah, sure... I'll be there in a few Walter thank you." I was talking faster than usual and I could tell my face was red.

"Officer... Alucard..." They exchanged knowing glances and then Walter left.

"... shit..." I said burying my face on my hand.

"He will say nothing. Well, it is not like Integra will forget what _she_ saw in my chambers that time, hm?"

"I guess." I sighed. "... I'm going to go have dinner with them..."

"So I hear..."

"See ya later..."

"Hm?" He mocked surprise.

"As in an expression; I'm not stating I WILL see you later..."

"... oh.."

Why isn't he moving?

"Yes?" He felt my stare.

"Get out of my room! I'm leaving!"

"I will stay, thank you."

"No, leave!"

I don't have to say that this went on for another while, do I?

* * *

I can't sleep

Missions are getting more and more demanding physically and I can't just fall asleep once I get to my room now. Normally Alucard would… _help_ me in that department by… _visiting_… but he didn't show up tonight.

I'm going to go walk around.

I put my coat over my tank and slid on a pair of sweats. I tied my sneakers and grabbed a beer and my cigs. I know nicotine was not going to help specially with alcohol, but what the hell. I was feeling too good now to spoil it.

Why am I in such good mood? Well, my reaction to my talk with Alucard now had morphed; from defensiveness and anger as a result of him trying to control me, to...

... feeling the same way I feel every time I feed him. I remembered our talk at the balcony.

I didn't realize I was standing still when I heard leaves rustling softly under heavy shoes. The pace seemed to be just like mine; no direction, though strong. Maybe another sleepless soul taking a late night stroll? I turned around and saw another shadow, not come to me, but walk near me. I could make out the gleam of glasses.

"Officer..." I heard Sir Hellsing's stern voice though softer in volume. She didn't even turn to me as she came to a halt.

"Sir..." I saluted.

"... at ease..."

So i did... she's scary.

"Is everything alright Officer?" She seemed testy.

"Yes Sir... just can't sleep... I hope this doesn't bother you..."

"Not at all..." She joined my smoking with one of her own. I felt that smell combine with my cig and it was interesting I have to say. After a long pause she spoke. "I know what you must be thinking Officer..."

"Pardon me, Sir?"

"You must have me as the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet. What a show I am putting out there, and what a magnificent performance I held with you that time I instructed you on correct treatment toward my servant..."

Silence. I was afraid to breathe even.

I knew what she meant. Every new recruit gets a little speech about dealing with the Hellsing vampires. Let's say I have pretty much violated every rule; even before I had kissed him.

"I suppose your job has given you enough sense of prudence to not disclose anything that you witnessed that time in the sub levels; which are still off limits to everyone... including you..."

"Yes Sir."

Silence.

"I also would like you to know... that which you saw has never happened before. It was a way of him testing his bounds." She paused. "I should not have to tell you how he likes to play games..."

I smiled knowingly and felt her looking my way. We were standing one beside the other looking toward the same direction with a very good 6 feet between each other.

"Did you come out here to meet with him?" She asked knowing it was a personal question and SHE was testing her bounds; I could tell by her smaller tone. She tried to keep it strong but I could sense it.

"No..." I left out the title to let her know it was a question that should not have come from my Commander.

The little devil on my shoulder is talking to me. What to do? Answer of course...

"... We meet in my room usually..." I said with a sigh.

Ouch.

Silence.

"I don't judge you..." I said after having a gulp of my beer. "Let's say it does happen regularly, I can only but understand you..."

I felt her eyes on me almost burning my clothes. I got scared for two seconds... but then I remembered what she knows I know. And I relaxed.

"He's a daemon..."

"That he is..." I remembered his purrs and grunts and I half smiled. "... but, pardon my French, the hell he can kiss..." I turned to her for a few seconds.

I dare her to say something. She better not forget I saw her kissing him back; so much that didn't even realize I was there.

Silence.

"Beer?" I offered and she looked my way. "I don't have the flu or anything contagious..."

To my surprise she received the bottle I was offering and had a long sip. Then she gave it back.

"Didn't know you liked your liquor..." I commented casually.

"Not beer..."

"Oh..."

Silence. I heard leaves rustle under her feet.

"Good night Officer."

"... good night Sir."

She hesitated a bit. But she finally turned around and left me to my cig and beer.

Well, well... this place is more interesting than I thought...


	10. A day of Randomness Maximus

_Sorry I have been updating so fast. I will update once a week, maybe twice, so people don't loose track of the story. Or whatever one can call this nonsense I'm writing._

_This chapter has some variations from the one in AFF, again to make it T rated. Again you are free to go there to check it out if you can, but it's no big deal this time._

_DISCLAIMER: don't own crap... I am running out of things to say here..._

_

* * *

_

"I'm going to go lesbian or something..." I blurted.

The police girl turned around slowly, covering her chest with the shirt she had just taken off.

She stared.

I blew a kiss.

She's blushing.

"Really... I'm getting sick of guys..."

She's blushing more and more.

"I'm kidding Seras... I can't be a lesbian... bi maybe, but never lesbian... I still like them... too much for my own good I think."

"What happened?" Her hand reached for another of my shirts that were on the bed ready for her to try.

"Your Master got all Neanderthal on me."

I can hear an escalating chuckle coming from her.

Oh god, she's going to start laughing forever again.

"Don't do it again--." I warned.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry..." She took a few deep breaths to control her laughter.

She thought this mess with her Master was hilarious. At first she got mad since I didn't confide in her, as I said before, but as she asked more and more details of what was going on, she started to find it quite funny.

I told her about what had happened a few days ago; about the talk me and her Master had. She went into a laughing frenzy that lasted about 3 hours. Non-stop. I had to wait until she stopped completely. I wasn't even done telling her what had happened when she was already cracking up like there was no tomorrow.

She made me feel like reconsidering my job. Maybe I should go into comedy.

It will keep me away from red-clad male-chauvinistic animated corpses and that's a big plus.

"… and Clay is being too much of a sweet boyfriend. He feels bad for 'leaving' that time…"

"Hmm... well, you know no one got you into this mess, right?"

"Yeah I know... it's my fault..."

Silence. I looked at what she was trying on now.

"I would've never thought you could wear my jeans…"

"Well... they are quite long on me..." Seras said looking at herself in the mirror. I wonder where all that stuff about vampires not having a reflection came from.

"… and a bit loose but it looks good..." She's kind of short so it is expected.

"Yeah I like it..."

"I like how they look on you... wear them tonight... let Pip see you in them..."

"But aren't they... too low?"

"They're fine... let me find a cute shirt to match..."

"Ok..."

"Though..." I said looking at her chest and then at mine. "... I don't think your boobs will fit in the one I am thinking on lending you..."

She almost pouted.

"... I wish I had them, don't complain..."

She didn't know how to take that after what I had said before. Her face said it all.

"It's so goddamn cold outside..." I shivered.

"I don't feel it." She shrugged.

"You're so lucky..."

She kept modeling the jeans in front of the mirror.

I went to the closet, took a cute tube top I knew I had and threw it in her direction.

"Here, you can keep it for a while if you want... I can't wear this here..."

"This is so pretty! I love it!"

"Kill Frenchie of a heart attack… wear it tonight too."

"Really? I can have it?'

"Yeah!"

"Thank you so much!"

I sat and she sat beside me with a little smile on her.

"I missed _this_ before you came here... I think I told you before--." She was referring to our girls-only nights. Well she was the only 'female' here for a long time I heard. It had to get lonely.

"Aw..." I passed my arm around her shoulders. "I know how it feels to have a job and no life. It sucks... so I'm happy too..."

"Please don't get fired..." She sighed.

"I'll try... let's see how much I can pull this thing off without the other idiot screwing it up..." I remembered Walter seeing us. Crap. Though I had talked to him after that and he seemed fine about it. But still...

"_Other_ idiot?"

"I'm the first idiot... your Master is the other one... and Clay is just the nice guy here..."

"So did you two get to an agreement?"  
"Me and your Master?" I sighed. "Not really... but if I see him tonight I SWEAR he won't leave before--"

"Yeah, yeah…" She said with a knowing wicked smile. I pushed her side.

Silence.

"I wonder what he's _really_ thinking..." I took a pillow and put it on my lap. "… and that _+I punched the pillow+_ just _+punch+_ makes _+punch+_ me _+punch+_ like _+punch+_ him _+punch+_ more _+punch punch punch+_."

"I can tell you like him more than Clay."

_+punch punch punch punch+_

"That's a yes, I see."

_+punch+_

Silence.

"He's right, we like to torment ourselves… it's sad..."

Silence.

My thoughts are going wild.

"Do you… know…" I said with a little frown after sulking a bit. "… what kind of relationship does he have with Hellsing?"

Silence.

I turned to her.

"He doesn't really talk to me about things." She shrugged.

"But have you seen them together?"

"A few times. But she treats him... not very nice."

"Hm." I sulked a bit more.

"Why?"

"Hm… nothing…"

"Have you?" She asked casually.

"One or twice…" Yeah, I was not going to tell her about that time.

"Jealous?" She pushed my side and I clicked my tongue.

"Nah…" I said still sulking.

It was true. Not like I had any reason to be.

My little radar is picking up something…

* * *

I can't see shit. 

The idiot is not paying attention to me.

Oop! Ok, I'll swallow my pride and hang from his coat.

"If you could breathe a little softer we wouldn't have to walk in the shadows." His deep voice came from everywhere.

I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

"… or maybe if you didn't breathe at all…"

"Shut up vampire... I'm trying."

When he said 'the shadows' I thought he meant, you know, what we humans understand by shadows. Not … this.

"Though I have to congratulate you on making those huge boots you are wearing, not make a sound."

"Oh thank you, milord+scoffs+." I tried my best English accent.

"_Here we are..." He sing-songed into my mind and stopped._

I peeked from behind him, both of us coming out of the shadows thanks to him; Walter was on the phone and standing next to him, a young woman, about 25 years old. I guess his assistant or part of the information retrieval unit. I smiled evilly at my thoughts.

"_Ok, let's do it." I thought, tugging at his coat._

"_I only have one question."_

"_What."_

"_Why did you decide to wear a dress—this short, may I add—when you knew you were going to do this?"_

"_... shit, you're right. Can you keep it up... or down… or whatever?"_

"—_such a tease always--."_

_I glared at him._

I felt his hand getting a grip on me.

"_Wait!" I thought and he sighed in frustration. "I'm scared!"_

"_This was your idea..."_

"_Look, it's a tall ceiling, ok?"_

"_Well?"_

_Silence._

"_Ok, ok... lets do this!" I took a deep breath. _

He stood behind me, facing my back and snaked an arm around my waist. Then, my boots left the floor. We started to float silently until we couldn't go any higher because of the ceiling. It _is_ a high one; I am NOT kidding. He continued to float with me parallel to the roof, until we were over Walter and company.

"_Ready?"_

"_Oh yeah." I thought as a grin stretched across my face. "Wait!"_

"_What now..."_

"_Don't—don't do it too fast please..." I was clawing at his coat._

_He mumbled something I didn't get._

"_--and don't let me fall or I'll swear--."_

He kept his arm around me and with the other he tried to reach for my bended leg. His scary thingies got a hold of me as his arm, the one around my waist, slowly left my body. I started to tilt forward, head first, the thingies bringing me to a soft halt once my body was completely vertical. When my ankle was secured in his hand, he started to lower me over Walter and the girl. Good thing he was holding my skirt in place. I would have given Walter a heart attack. He was also holding my hair in place which I had in two ponytails. I asked him via thoughts, to lower me closer to the girl. Walter was not going to fall for it.

My brown eyes meet her green ones.

"Good evening..." I said in a very low and deep voice, trying to imitate how Alucard talks... only I'm a girl and can't talk like that. I was about 5 inches from the girl's face, upside down, hanging from the ceiling.

The girl didn't scream. But her shocked expression scared ME. I think she almost had a panic attack. She walked backwards a few steps, clutched her notepad to her chest and started panting. I grinned that sick grin I have picked up from the vampire, when I felt Walter's eyes on me.

"Officer... good evening..."

"Hi, Walter... how's everything?"

"Oh, very well, thank you." He lifted his finger for me to wait a moment and then finally hung up. "You don't look too well, have you been eating right?"

"It's just makeup... I wanted to look scary..."

"I see..."

"Seras helped me get the right skin tone."

"I can see that… it almost suits you."

"Don't say it too loud…" I mumbled, but he didn't hear me.

"Will you come by later for some tea?"

"Sure, why not…" Since my agreement with Alucard was off, I had to do my own thing to get tea from Walter. It didn't take much. I just had to ask. He's so nice.

"Are you done, already?" Alucard said from the ceiling.

"SHH! Dude, you're not supposed to be there…"

"It might be fun to be hanging from my hand but I find it quite boring up here."

"… party pooper…" I almost grunted.

The woman almost died as she saw him there. A gasp from her made me realize this.

"It's ok... I'm not another vampire; I'm in FA actually... nice meting you..." I said and extended my upside down hand to the girl. She was looking at Alucard floating up there. She wasn't afraid of me anymore… not even aware of my existence! Damn, I was doing so well! "It's ok, he's harmless..."

"Pardon me?" He didn't like that, I'm sure.

"Ok fine... he's a vicious daemon who kills babies and eats them--."

"Officer, I think she doesn't need all the details..." Walter interrupted me with a sigh.

"Sorry..." I said and with my hands against the desk made my body swing a bit. "I like this, its fun—plus you can get a good workout..." I did some vertical crunches. Ow.

Hm, now I see where he gets those abs from.

"You are not as light as you look, Officer..." Alucard mumbled.

"Wait..." I put my palms flat on the table. "Let go." He did. I did a one second handstand and then my boots hit the carpet.

Alucard landed on the carpet too, beside me, not making a sound.

The girl was still fixated on the vampire. I can't believe there are still people who don't know about him or something. Or maybe I'm just weird.

"I don't think it is a good idea for you two to be wandering around the mansion together..." Walter said, kind of scolded. Yes, it was sort of a violation of those rules about dealing with the Hellsing vampires.

"You're right..." I mumbled as I shook the dust off my short Goth-Amish looking dress.

"Good evening then..." Alucard grinned at the poor girl. He just loves to be the bad guy.

"Walter—."

"He can't hear you anymore..." He said turning to leave.

"Huh?"

The darkness behind me told me we were in the infamous shadows again. I walked after him as he exited the office, again that impossible darkness meeting us instead of the hallway. Damn it! I keep tripping all over the place!

"Can we scare Seras too?"

He chuckled.

"This is fun!" I said smiling wickedly.

Silence.

"I will teach you; you will not scare her doing what you just did..."

"Ok... show me the way PrankMaster..."

"Prank..?" He said with a frown.

"Master."

He smiled devilishly. "How sweet that word rolls out of your tongue..."

(raspberry)

Silence.

"And Pip—how about scaring Pip… and the Geese!"

A very sick grin was the only thing I could see in that darkness. But right now, that only meant more fun.

"And when we're done... I need to talk to you about some stuff." I said my tone a bit less happy.

"Very well."

I can swear he grinned again by the sound of his voice.

* * *

(knock knock) 

"You're not going anywhere..." The vampire grunted into my lips at the same time that he rolled both of us in a smooth movement placing me on my back, and pinned me against the floor with his body. I had no complains.

Yeah, I know… so much for coming to an agreement and having a civilized talk.

It pisses me off; he always has to be in control.

Ok, this time I started it.

"The door--."

His lips came back to me and shut me up. Ok, fine, fine!

"For once we agree..." I said into his mouth. "Hide--."

"No."

"--for one second... I will tell him I'm busy... ok?"

He backed away a bit and disappeared.

I stood up and went to open the door; barely opening it really... I was not very decent.

"Hey..." I said and licked my lips just in case. God, I feel them swollen and red.

"Oh, you were asleep?" Clay said with a little frown.

"Kinda... I'm a little tired."

"Oh, ok... I wanted to know if you were ok... if everything was ok…"

"Yeah--." I felt a tickle on my leg and knew WHO it was. "I'm--I'm ok..." I was shaking it off me a bit.

"Are you sure?..." He looked at me all weird.

"Yea--hm!" The vampire just grabbed my ass! "Yeah--yeah... I'm just finding some _roaches_ around and I get all jumpy and weird--."

"I can help you if you need--."

"No I'm fine... big girl, I can take it..."

He chuckled.

"Ok... let me know if it gets bad..."

"Mh-hm."

"... good night, luv..." He came over to kiss me and as he did... the vampire's hands were not _exactly_ behaving.

"Hmmm..." I couldn't help myself and moaned into Clay's mouth; and not because of Clay's kiss. I will kill the vampire for this.

"_Kinky, kinky Officer." The vampire purred in my head._

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Clay whispered into my mouth a bit sensuously.

"Yeah—I have to +soft gasp+ sleep…" I kicked the vampire behind me. "Good night."

"Ok... bye..." He was smiling from ear to ear. I waited for him to walk down the stairs at least.

I closed the door fast.

"That was wrong..."

"... now he will think it was because of him..."

"What thing?"

He came close to me, pinned me to the door and began to imitate my moans.

"I don't sound like that..."

Again his hands started to... misbehave.

I sounded exactly like he had.

"Though I have to say my favorites are..." At his new actions, my hands involuntarily flew to the frame of the door, my body arching to the point of being painful, very high pitched moans filling the room.

"You're... mistaking-me...for a...piano..."

"It is the same principle, milady..."

"I hate you..." I said as one of my arms curled around his neck, holding me up.

"Of course you do..."

I do hate him... in my own peculiar way...

* * *

_Let me know if you're reading! The story is already done, but I will update once or twice a week as I said. _


	11. And he keeps finding ways to scare me

_I can't believe I wrote this. _

_It's so sweet that now I have to go to the dentist. Damn it. Maybe its cause my anniversary is coming close._

_Why, oh why so short? Because I also did some drawing. A friend gave me some space to put the stupid drawings online so whoever wants to check them out, go ahead. They are inspired by the fic: (remember to correct the spaces after the periods when you put them on the browser)  
_

_arheniel. mxdesignstudio. com/wp-content/conversations2. jpg_

_arheniel. mxdesignstudio. com/wp-content/bustedweb. jpg_

_arheniel. mxdesignstudio. com/wp-content/conversationsincigminorwhitewebsite. jpg_

_Yay for dumbness and slow days at work and Wacom tablets!_

_**DISCLAIMER**: don't own crap... not even this copy of Word._

_

* * *

_

**PART I**

I woke up to the sound of birds singing and leaves swaying in the wind.

So relaxing. Damn, I miss the beach.

I opened my eyes squinting uncomfortably. It was a very weird morning in London; it was sunny. The sun was peeking in between the leaves and the trees over me, at times directly over my eye. Yeah, kind of annoying if you ask me.

But once you wake up, it's just beautiful.

I stretched my arms over my head and let them fall. They fell on something; too hard to be a pillow, there are no pillows in the gardens anyways, but kind of soft to be a rock. I look up, Alucard is sleeping on his back, almost perpendicular to my body, and I am doing the same, my head on his upper abs.

We fell asleep... he he, it was fun last night...

It had been fun scaring people that time so we agreed on doing it again. And with the arrival of new recruits, we thought about giving them a _warm_ welcome. I knew it was wrong in every way, but what the hell. Plus they had never seen me, so it would be easier to scare them.

We were right.

Adrenaline at its highest levels at the possibility of being caught.

When we were done scaring people out of their pants, we came to the gardens, the vampire being in the mood to moon gaze. I got comfortable on the grass and did the same. I guess some time after I was asleep he also felt like getting comfortable, so here we are.

I felt warmth on my feet. We had taken off shoes and other stuff, except pants and shirts of course, since nothing _happened_. It was a surprise for me, really. But still it was very much fun. I smiled as I remembered.

The warmth on my feet was kind of annoying me. I looked up still squinting, the sun coming out of a big cloud. I hope it doesn't rain.

Great, now the sun will shortly hit my eye--fucking great.

DAMN.

I sat up.

Alucard. Sun. Vampire... oh my fucking God...

"Alucard--Alucard wake up..." I shook him vigorously. He needs to hide NOW. "Alucard!" He was not moving. "Alucard, goddamnit wake up its morning and you--!"

Nothing.

I stood up and looked around. How can I make him wake up, damn it!

Shit, shit... I don't know what to do—I don't know what to do…!

"Alucard please, wake up please wake up..." I said louder but nothing. I shook him and even punched him on his stomach.

Nothing.

I'm hyperventilating. My head feels weird.

I think I am... IN PANIC.

"Vampire! Don't die--please don't die on me--shit it's my fault--." I stood up and began to pull him by his arm to the shaded area, at least to save some time. But he is damn heavy; I could only move him a little.  
"Alucard!" My voice was breaking and the cloud was moving more and more... the sun was hitting his legs. "Please wake up…" I could barely see... my eyes were filled with tears. "ALUCARD!--oh god no, it's my fault--ALUC--." Again I tried to move him and shake him at the same time as tears began rolling down my cheeks... I needed help. Anyone. I looked around but I was scared to scream; I would have to then explain our doings last night. No, no, even if he survived, he would be in ridiculous trouble.  
"WAKE. UP!"

I had an idea. I felt bad about what I was going to do but it was the only way I could think of waking him up. The sun was already hitting part of his exposed chest, so I had to act fast. I ran to my boots, got a silver knife out and pushed it against the skin of his chest. Not stab him, just push the silver on him.

His eyes darted open, furious I can tell because of the wild way the colors changed and the way he hissed at me. His skin hissed too as if it had hit acid. I let the thing go in fear of hurting him too much but before he reacted toward me, I pulled him to the shade. He grabbed me by my arm—ow, this will leave a bruise-- and shook me as he ranted in what I believe to be Romanian, again.

"Ghetzu Meu!--PASTELE TALE TARF--!"

"I HAD TO WAKE YOU UP--I'M SORRY--!"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU--."

"THE SUN IS COMING OUT--I'M SORRY I--."

He stopped and looked toward his side. I gasped as the sun finally hit his face. More tears left my eyes.

I pulled him by his shirt closer to the shaded area behind me. In this process he fell over me a bit.

"Sunlight doesn't hurt me..." He said a bit altered still.

"What!"

"Sunlight. Doesn't. Hurt… Me..." He shifted moods in a microsecond and looked at me as if I suddenly had grown a second head or a third ear.

"It can't be--you're a vampire--it's in the books--I read it!" I stopped my ranting as I saw his face being hit with the strong morning sun and nothing was happening.

I stared in disbelief.

"… Why aren't you turning into ashes...?" I asked my voice small and still breaking.

Silence.

I kept staring at him wide eyed. This can't be possible.

"You're... crying..." He whispered almost inaudibly.

I went to touch his face with my finger, and reassure myself it was not ash and he was not... dead... or whatever.

Silence.

"You're ok."

He kept staring at me as if he was trying to understand something. My eyes went down to his half opened shirt.

"Oh god..." Again I felt my eyes fill with tears. "I'm so sorry..." What I had done with my knife looked so horrible.

"Why are you crying..." Again he sounded in some kind of daze.

"What do you mean why--I thought you were going to die... or whatever happens when vampires turn into ashes..." I said as a matter-of-factly.

Silence.

"Can you heal that?"

"Yes..." He said and it magically began to heal. It was... amazing. He was still staring at me.

"Ghnn…" I moved my arm with a frown. I could still feel his fingers wrapped around it, although he wasn't touching me anymore.

He raised my sleeve and wrapped his hand softly around it. A cold current came over that part of my arm and then... nothing. Not even a slight bruise.

"Thanks..." I said softly pulling it down. I sniffed. "Next time inform me about things like this..." I wasn't scolding, but trying to stop him from staring at me like that.

"I did."

"When?

"That night at the balcony."

"You didn't state it... you said 'what if'."

Silence.

He is not looking away.

I cleaned my face and nose just in case.

"What..."

He didn't say anything. I had not realized how close we were, so it was just a matter of him leaning a bit forward for his face to end up against my neck. I felt his cold nose against my skin, inhaling.

He doesn't seem to be backing away.

Which shocked me to no end.

I slowly rested my head on his as the seconds passed and he was not moving away. I was confused. He is not the kind of… _being_ to be tender or get close or nothing like this. But I was not thinking straight; I was happy that he was not a pile of ashes. So my hand went to his upper back and rubbed him affectionally.

His back muscles tensing under my hand made me realize this was not such a good idea. So I brought my head up from his and my hand slid off him to my lap. My heart was racing like crazy when I realized he was still not moving. It only got worse as his hair began tickling my nose and I felt, for the first time, his smell. Even after everything that has happened before between us, I never stopped and paid attention to this.

We stayed like this for a moment until I realized where we were, the time and that someone could see us.

"Let's go... someone could come around this place." I whispered. His face came up but I couldn't look at him in the eye.

He raised his head silently. Not a word was said.

I slid my feet inside my boots, not tying them or anything. I put my coat on and tried to look decent. He was clothed in a second. How convenient.

"Bye..." I said still shaken by the whole thing and feeling a bit silly.

"Good day, milady..." He said still softly behind me. I walked without looking back at him, still feeling strange, trying to hide into my coat.

I walked to my room, thinking over what had happened. It might have sounded like nothing, but I was feeling stupid things in my stomach. He never gets this close, not like this. Only when there is kissing, nibbling or something of the kind involved.

I don't know why my mind went back a little over a year ago; to when I had first met him. He had challenged me to a sparing. I was as always doing my katas in the gym, this time killing some energy that wouldn't let me sleep. He came in, started to annoy me and then challenged me to a _friendly fight_. I was not very familiar with the things he could do at the time, being just a recruit, so of course I said yes.

He gave me the beating of the century.

My body and ego were bruised and I thought sarcastically to myself, 'way to go! Great first impression'. Surprisingly it was. I didn't understand him then, but he liked the fact that I wasn't intimidated by what he was. And from then on as opposed to the rest of the personnel, if he was around I would acknowledge his presence. Sometimes giving him the finger, yes, but it was something. I smiled at his face when ever I stuck my tongue out at him or something of the sort. Yes, I enjoyed being around him. I didn't have to bother with boring human social etiquette. In a way, our interactions were natural and laid back.

My random thoughts took me to my room in no time. It was still early so I started changed into something more comfortable, still sulking, trying to find a moment he had been close to affectionate. But nothing. And what was with the staring…

(knock knock)

"Come in…" I whispered absently, as I lowered my beater, my back toward the door. Then I snapped back to reality. How did I know it was him at—.

I looked toward the door, his body fazing through it. I turned around and sat on the bed. He was not saying anything which was very weird. He always had a comment to either make me want to kill him or start a philosophical conversation. This time, it was just silence.

"I'm glad you didn't turn into ashes." I said to stop the uncomfortable silence.

Silence.

He walked toward the bed slowly and sat beside me.

"Now I understand something..." He whispered almost inaudibly, trying to sound like his burlesque self. _Trying_.

"What..."

"Why you wanted to be close to Brendon that time."

"Why..."

"I told you before... _concern_... it has a unique scent. +Silence+ It calms even the most barbaric furor..."

Silence.

"Is that why you rested on my shoulder? And look at me the way you have those times too?" I asked softly.

Silence.

I knelt forward, getting closer to him. He looked at me, not knowing what to expect. "You can do it again if you want..." I whispered sweetly. His eyes went to my shoulder and after hesitating, he moved toward me.

As his nose again landed on my neck, one of my arms went around his shoulders and slowly began to go up and down his back. Again I felt his muscles tense for a few seconds; I guess surprised by this act of affection. Or just not used to it.

Surprisingly, his body relaxed very slowly; my other hand went to his head and brushed his hair back. I wonder what he thought about all this.

He did not move for what I guessed was 3 or 5 minutes. I was swaying a bit, not sure why, but my heart again was pumping blood through me like crazy. I did not realize I was falling back until I felt the bed under my back.

"Oop!—sorry." I whispered that last thing.

He did not say a word nor sat up or anything. He came down half on me, his nose still into my neck. Smelling, I could feel it. This position was better; I was more relaxed. I kept combing his hair with my fingers, as my other hand was still resting on his upper back.

His body was relaxing more and more, his head finally hitting my shoulder completely and the rest of him landing on half my body. My bent leg was almost curling around him, surprisingly making me more cozy and comfy than him, I bet.

More time passed. It was getting cold.

I stretched my leg, the one on him and pulled the comforter over us with my toe, very very slowly. I was afraid to move too much. I didn't want him to think I was uncomfortable and make him leave. But I think I was successful because he didn't even flinch. Damn it's cold. My beater and brief-shorts are not very generous on covering and he wasn't exactly radiating warmth.

My short fingernails moved slowly under his hair at the nape of his neck. It was something I wasn't aware of. But it didn't seem to bother him.

"Are you ok?" I whispered after a long time and nothing from him.

Silence.

"Alucard?" I whispered softly.

More silence.

"Are you asleep?" I whispered again and smiled a little.

Silence.

"Good... I'm tired too..." I whispered even softer and curling my leg around him a bit more, I fell asleep too.

* * *

_Thanks so much for the reviews. They make my daaaaay :D_

_I will post the second part shortly AND it will only be available in AFF. There is no way I can think of making it T. So you know what is coming :D_

_BABAI!_


	12. OMFG! ITS NOT HERE!

_Ok! So as I said before, this chappy is in AFF because of its content. If for any reason you CANNOT make it to AFF let me know, email me, and I can send you the chappy, ok? I know, I know, I hate to post things all around the place… I hate it when sex becomes a big deal. I don't get the whole taboo thing but hey, I guess I'm just weird. I respect opinions…_

_To reach AFF go to: (fix the spaces after the periods)  
_

_**adultfan. nexcess. net/aff/**_

_**click in anime**_

_**click in hellsing**_

_**the story is there, non censored. ** _

_email me if you can't get to it._

_Or google it... Adult FanFiction. It should come up. It works almost like FF. _

_If still you do not want to read it, just so you don't fall behind… yes, they have sex, finally. And… she's confused because still she doesn't get his motives. She believes it's her virgin blood what has him attached to her but then... what does this mean?  
_


	13. Just another day at Hellsing I guess

_Halo! Sorry about the story being half in AFF practically but it is just flowing. This was **supposed **to be a one shot after all. Oh well. _

_Some people have asked to make it M instead of T. But I know some of you will not be able to read it if I make it M and I HATE to change ratings in the middle of the thing. So if you can't go to AFF either, email me and we can work something out. Email me if you would like to have the missing chappys; I can always send them. _

_Ok, on with the thing!_

_DISCLAIMER: bla bla blahhh Hellsing not mine bla bla bla..._

_

* * *

_

"Seras" I whispered into the mic and ducked, my chin touching the floor.

I felt the buzzing of her gun over me hitting a crowd of ghouls like bowling pins. As they all turned to dust, I ran inside the house. I had my gun in one hand and a dagger in the other. I went inside, sliding down the walls, very low, almost touching the floor.

Nothing.

I was the bait. Freaks love to take humans. They are actually scared of real vampires. I walked around the second floor of the abandoned house but I couldn't see anyone. Nothing that even hinted a Freak was in here. I looked in every room. Nothing. Was this a setup?

As I turned on a corner I found myself looking at a pair of fangs. I crouched and leaped towards the opposite direction, down a hallway. My heavy breathing announced in the radio that it was time for Pip to send the first people in. I felt the stupid freak after me, too close for my taste. As I turned on a corner, I felt another presence; another Freak, to be specific.

And then another one coming from another direction.

I felt a void in my stomach as I realized I was cornered and not in the hallway anymore but inside a room.

In a room.

With three Freaks.

Now this was fucked up.

Their fangs reflecting the moonlight was the only thing I could see. I was scared; for the first time in weeks, I had no immediate way of escaping. The goddamn room was too small; I couldn't use footwork to evade them. I was trapped. Plus, it was dark as hell; the electricity had been cut off by our people. And I'm no vampire.

Ok, if I alert the Captain by radio, I will make enough noise for them to know where I am at. I can't use the stupid thing then. Ok, I am not supposed to do this and my pride is not very happy, but it's my ass.

"_Alucard."_

"_Listen to them, feel them…"_

"_Alucard I can't see… don't get silly on me now."_

"_Focus, listen and feel." _

"_It's not the time to teach me super-powers I don't have, vampire…"_

He didn't answer. So I gave it a try. I slowed down my breath and moved to where ever I felt warmth. I had become quite sensitive to vampires after sleeping with one every other night. I could tell if they were near sometimes. One of them brushed my shoulder and I yelped silently. This made me become anxious but I had to control myself. I started to breathe slower and deeper, calming my brain down. I couldn't show them were I was or my thoughts. Please, a light I need a light...

As I felt them closer, I moved in between their feet to the other corner. These were weak Freaks; I thought they could see at night. But they were as blind as me because if they could see in the dark, they would've killed me already. I felt the walls hard, covered in a very thick film. I was scared to use my guns; they were likely to ricochet with those hard walls. And I didn't want to be hit with my own silver bullets.

I felt the walls with my hands until I found the door and ran away. I heard the collective footsteps of our people coming up so I went back down. As I did, I felt coolness near me. I didn't have to turn around.

"_Are you behind me?"_

"_No."_

I ducked, tackled the Freak by kicking its legs which made it fall backwards. I got a dagger out and before the body hit the floor, I stabbed it on the back, where the heart should be. Only ash hit the ground.

And got inside my nose, I fucking hate that.

"Officer what's ze situation?"

"Uh… they are on the second floor now, Sir… one freak down, but the informant is still upstairs with other two Freaks." I said walking out of the house toward the van, as my job for tonight was apparently done.

"Retreat Officer, zere's a unit on its way." I turned as I heard heavy gunfire from our people. What the fuck are they doing?

"Captain--." I had the little impression my fellow Officers were again goofing around and NOT paying attention at deploy.

A plan is forming in my head.

"Officer…" I heard Pip warning me already with his tone.

Silence. I'm studying the structure I had just walked out from.

"Requesting permission to go back--."

Let's see; steep ceiling, a small window on the top floor... wood everywhere... spiky things under the windows...

"Officer, retreat."

"But Cap--."

"Girl, get your cute butt out here now."

"I know they are weak I can take them—and what the hell are they firing like that for--."

"Don't do zees again, girl."

"Please Pip--."

I was cut off by gunfire and yells. I ran upstairs again, no night goggles or anything. I heard Pip going crazy on the radio scolding more people. Great, this will distract him as I go back.

Something I have learned here at Hellsing is how much Freaks are like wild animals. They can't see a warm body move. It doesn't matter where will it take the Freak, it will always follow. It is like motion for a cat. So I was not going to exactly disobey a direct order… _again_… but hey, I am bait in this mission right? That's what I was told before deploy.

"Ok girl, change of plans--."

"I'm there already--."

"Non, no no no no… get out of zere Officer, ze first floor needs--."

I followed bodies moving inhumanly fast in the pale moonlight. Hooray for big windows and full moons.

"Officer!"

I was panting and I knew he was listening to me. These soldiers have fucking night goggles and are letting the Freaks go around as if nothing!

"Girl, don't ignore me!" His voice was controlled but I could sense his anger.

"I have a plan Pip."

"Non, Officers don't have plans girl, go to the first floor!" He was pissed.

I stopped and ran downstairs again, finding a few soldiers there. This is wrong but I have to do it.

"Sorry." I said quickly as I pulled the goggles away from someone's face. I heard a yell and then some cursing. Hmm, I didn't know we had Italians here.

"Goddamn crazy woman!" I heard Pip in the radio, panting in anger.

He was not getting anything from me. Again I went upstairs, goggles and all, searching for the scum.

More gunfire.

"Captain I thought we had to get the informant alive…" I finally said to him.

"What--."

"I don't think those bullets will make him fall asleep."

"You will get me in trouble again—I knew it, I knew it, goddamn--."

"Pip, sorry you're distracting me." I pulled the earplug away from my ear. This will seriously get me in trouble but I had the feeling we were not going to get much information from ashes.

Those soldiers are firing to kill! What the hell are they doing!

I had to do something very good because I was going to get scolded senseless.

I walked again almost touching the floor down the hallway I had seen the Freaks first in. Where was that window again. I need that window, the Freaks and my legs up for some running. Oh and of course... someone to help me outside.

Great, I dropped my mic somewhere... just fucking brilliant.

"_Alucard?"_

"_Is the Officer asking for my help?"_

"_Dude, I have no radio, so don't flatter yourself."_

_He chuckled annoyingly. Expected._

"_Carry on."_

I walked quickly beside some soldiers and heard some 'she's here' comments and things like that. God, I have to think of a way to make Pip happy. He will kill me for this. I looked around and no Freaks. They were hiding. They were weak but not dumb. Damn it, why did these people have to be so loud--.

Again the inhumanly fast body got my attention. I went after it, cautious, since it could be also acting as bait. I got closer and closer to a hallway which I knew was close to that same window I had seen from outside.

And there he was.

Goosebumps spreading from my upper right arm alerted me that other Freaks where in that direction. I took a dagger in my hand and threw it towards the Freaks leg. A grunt. He is looking at me furiously. Ok, another night of running for my life.

Oh, I was so right.

One second later and I would have been Freak dinner. I ran down the hall knowing I was being directed to the others. That was good, yes good in this case. Right before turning in a corner I passed the window I had seen from outside.

Mental note; the window is here.

More and more footsteps joined the one behind me. The Freak closer to me was Alucard's target. At deploy we were instructed to keep away from this one and not kill him. But the idiots I guess were still hung over after Johnson's birthday bash last night. Because they were not following directions.

"_They're after me—they're after me, are you there?"_

"_Waiting anxiously and patiently for your plan to work, Officer."_

I was easily directing them to the window. Oh god, it sounds as if there's a whole army of freaks behind me, I don't even want to look!

I got my gun out finally, not wanting to use any weapons lethally against them and broke the glass of the window. Fucking hell, I can't believe I'm about to do this. Thank god it's just a third floor. A broken leg I guess won't be too bad. If I don't land on something uglier.

As the windows shattered I held my breath in. And I jumped; forcing myself to not close my eyes. I slid my goggles away from my face, and a dagger away from my boot. I began to slide down the steep roof looking up at the window waiting for them to come out. I buried my dagger deep into the wood to stop my body from falling any more. I remembered the house and the pointy fences at the adjacent windows to this one and looped my goggles on them as I passed one. It was either using them to bring me to a stop or having them buried in my body. Thank god the first thing happened.

Alucard, fail me here and they will have me for a late night snack. And no hanky-panky when we get back.

But his gun echoed around me making me sigh in relief. He's got freaking perfect aim. So I was not worried. Another gunshot made me jump out of my body as I heard it right beside me. I turned my head to the border of the ceiling and there he was, standing almost on the tips of his shoes only, coat swaying in the wind. He was waiting for the informant as he fell through the ashes of the others. Alucard had waited for all of them to jump so they couldn't turn back. That's why he waited so long to take a shot, I guess.

I held on to the dagger with my life. The goggles were helping but it was rubber; it could snap and break. The dagger felt steady inside the wood, but still it was a dagger. And I'm a 5'7 long human body.

My eyes went to the vampire when I heard whimpers in his direction. I caught the vampire holding the Freak by his throat in the air, staring at him seriously, eyes narrow. The freak kept squirming lightly, legs kicking in the air and whimpering, a panic expression on his face. After a small sniff and a disapproving frown, I saw how with a quick movement of his thumb and index finger, the vampire broke, not snapped, the Freak's head away from it's neck, the head rolling to one side off the roof. The body followed after.

I didn't know if to be in awe or fear.

Then, he disappeared.

I sighed and let my head fall on the wooden roof.

Ok, how the fuck do I get down from here now. Where did he go?

After doing a little climbing back to the window and loosing pretty much all my knives and daggers pining them to the roof, I heard Alucard's Jackal fire. I ran to the sound, bumping into him as he was coming out of a room.

"How boring, they didn't want to play."

"They?"

"Yes, there were 2 more." He said and handed me my earplug, I put it on as I followed him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because they _were_ after you..."

"Me? Why?" Yes, they were after me of course; I was acting as bait. I didn't get his point.

"It's your fertile time; I can smell it too…"

"And what difference does that make? It's not like--."

I stopped short and pulled his coat to stop him. Oh shit.

"You can't get women pregnant can you?" I asked eyes wide in anger and fear.

He began to chuckle softly and deeply, looking at my wide eyes.

"That was a very good plan by the way--."

"Answer me vampire can you or can't you, I am very serious."

"Though I have to say it would be better if you used your guns more." He came close to me in his trademarked sensuous voice. "And I was thinking... how about calling me Master tonight in your chambers? That would be--."

"Answer me goddammit, you are not touching me until--"

"Uh—um, you know someone else can be on the radio..." I heard Seras stutter into my earplug.

"Damn... please tell me it's just you on now?" I said into the mic.

"Luckily yes."

" missionparametercompletetargetssilencedbye" I said and took my earplug away from my ear. Damn it! The vampire disappeared.

"OFFICER!"

Oh shit. Here we go.

I turned very very slowly and saw a very VERY angered one-eyed blonde guy. He will strangle me with his braid if I get too close.

"Captain." I stood at attention. He gave me a very very evil eye. Is that a vein on his forehead?

He gestured with his hand to go to him. He seemed almost relaxed. But I could tell by that weird vein on his forehead he was about to scream at me. But I had no choice than to walk to him.

"S-Sir." I said and gave him the puppy dog eyes.

He was breathing in and out slowly, his nostrils opening and closing in an exaggerated manner. I bit my lip.

"What-what did you call me before, Officer?" His voice was too calm for my taste.

"Sir?"

"Before zat."

"Captain--."

"CAPTAIN!"

I jumped.

"WHAT DID I JUST CALL YOU?"

"Officer..."

"OFFICER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ZEES MEANS IN MILITARY HIERARCHY?"

"Y-yes sir..."

"_I_ MAKE PLANS _YOU_ FOLLOW THEM!"

"I'm sorry Pip but--."

" Sorry? SORRY? Non, no sorrys, my 'sorry' arse is in the line here! If I don't get paid—oh, if I don't get paid because of zees--."

"But you saw how the others--."

"Talk to the boss."

"No... no Pip no please--." He turned to leave and I began to walk after him. "Please don't make me report to her--."

"Report to her, it's the way it eez. You caught them, you need to report."

"Alucard did, technically."

"He reports to her too. I will let you know--."

"Pip, no, no you don't understand—she scares me, she will shoot me or something--."

"Girl, I luv you to pieces but this is not zee first time zees has happened... I can't get you out of zees one too."

"You two can use my room all week, please."

Silence.

"No."

"Pip!"

He turned to me, his face leaned toward me a bit and I stopped. His voice now was a bit over a whisper.

"Girl... I don't give a shit about ranks or who does what in the field... but understand zees; just like me, you get shot at or even scratched by one of zose things and zats it. There are only two bloodsuckers in zees team and none of zem are you. You're being too reckless too often. Think about zees the next time you want to jump off a window with a pack of undead behind you, do I make myself clear?"

Silence.

"Yes Sir."

"I'm not talking to you as your Captain right now, ok?" His eye was piercing into mine. Ok, I was being scolded.

"K, Pip."

He turned around and walked away.

* * *

"Hey--." A cheery Seras walked beside me. 

"Move. Not now girl." I said in a low furious voice.

Where the hell is that idiot.

I am going to the sub levels I don't give a shit. He better answer me, I am NOT having any _accidents_. And less with him. Oh! Sure, that's what I need! An Alucard Jr. running around the place biting people! I swear if he can get women pregnant I will hurt him. Yes I will, I brought my gun and knives. I will give into his request of me using my guns more. It's a great occasion I think.

"Hey luv--."

"No. Talk. Now." Was my answer.

He better not be with Hellsing or any other woman he sees because I am not leaving without an answer. Who the hell does he think he is. Keeping things like this from me? I don't give a shit what he does with his unlife but if he dares to keep from me the fact that he can get women pregnant—oh I will kill him, I will.

"Oh! Officer--."

"Can't now Walter."

"Then what are you--."

"Bathroom."

As I was about to walk down the stairs I heard the piano. Awesome, I won't have to take a chance down there then. I stomped upstairs to the library. I don't care of Hellsing is there or something.

Ok, ok I do care, she's scary.

As I almost barged into the place my feet stopped at the sight; Alucard's red clad back at the piano, yes as I expected, but he was not alone. A mass of platinum blonde hair on a green suit was also sitting at the bench. I took a step back and peeked my head in, my curiosity killing me one more time.

I wasn't sure who was playing what part, but they were sitting one next to the other, playing something together. Her spine straight as always, her head not moving to the sides, but into the keys. She would fall behind out of sync, his chuckle celebrating the action. Nothing from her. Actually there was nothing else coming from any of them. I remembered the way she spoke to us, the new recruits, about the Hellsing vampires. She sounded so cold and distant about them. Almost as if they were the same scum she hunted. I chuckled silently and sarcastically. Almost scoffed. My eyes fell on their backs at the height of their shoulders and scanned them down to their waists; their bodies were sharing a bench, but there was a small gap between the two of them.

And even so…

His face turned sideways, his eyes meeting mine. I woke up from my thoughts and smiled sadly. My reaction seemed to surprise him. He did nothing, only look at me some more. I lowered my eyes softly, turned around and walked away from the room.

One foot in front of the other, slowly, my anger forgotten at the door.

* * *

_Things will begin to get clearer with the next chapters. Let me know how everything is going! Help me get better! Bye!_


	14. I'm so close to getting an ulcer GR!

_DISCLAIMER: Hellsing. Not. Mine. I. Wish. Boo hoo!_

_

* * *

_

(knock knock)

"Come in." I heard the stern feminine voice behind the huge oak door.

I gulped.

Here we go.

"Good evening Officer."

"Good evening Sir."

I saw her put some paperwork away as I got closer to her desk. I stood at attention. Her body leaned forward a bit, her eyes fixed on me.

She is so goddamn scary.

"It seems you find my office very appealing… this is the third visit you pay in three weeks." She can be the Queen of Sarcasm when she wants to. I didn't know what to say to not make her angrier. So I chose silence. "I will be brief. I am curious Officer; what were you thinking when you decided to disobey a direct order from your Captain... _again_." Her tone is getting a tad tense.

Oh, so it's about this? What's her deal, why wait so long?

I couldn't say the others were screwing up, right?

"I knew there were other Freaks hiding and were weak enough to lure them on my own... I thought this information was not known, Sir."

"You underestimate us, Officer... our Intelligence & Information units are one of the best in this continent. You should have a little faith in us."

"Pardon me, Sir... I was just thinking about the safety of everyone else and completing the mission."

Alucard fazed through a wall and walked behind Hellsing. What the hell is he doing here?

"Captains are Captains not because they won the title in a festival raffle. They are where they are because they have an overview of the situation and this is why they command units! If there is an order to retreat, you must do so no matter what you _feel_ you should do! If you think you have found something of importance, you know the procedure by now, I am sure..."

"Yes Sir. Inform my Captain via radio and await orders."

"So I gather this was not a case of misinformation but a misjudgment on your part."

"At least she doesn't run away scared like most..." Alucard commented in his usual irreverent tone, but low enough to not reach my ears. It reached me by thoughts. I thought he used a different tone to address his Master, but I was surprised.

"I don't recall asking for your opinion Servant..." She whispered back at him but I _did_ get that with my ears. I can feel a twitch in my eye.

"A good sign to know it is time to leave the scene is if you see the vampire. Usually he doesn't need backup..."

"Thank you, My Master..."

"Alucard..." She said warningly, not believing his formality. It did sound mocking. Everything he says does actually.

"It will not happen again Sir; I have learned my lesson..."

"I hope I don't have to see you next week again, if it is not to report."

"Yes Sir."

"Alucard."

"Yes Master?"

"I will call you when I have a need for you." She said looking at me still.

Silence.

He bowed and walked through a wall, exiting the office, not before turning his eyes to me. I felt a little heat come to my face. Damn it, did he do this just to torture me?

I had just left him in my room sleeping, apparently, a few minutes ago. I woke up, took a shower and as I finished getting ready, Seras knocked at my door with the news that Hellsing wanted to see me. I got scared right there. I really screwed up this time. I could feel it. I didn't bother on waking him up. Actually I haven't found a way to do it without hurting him.

As I walked toward the office something began to bother me. I told him after the first time we slept together that if he wanted he could take little _sips_ of my blood. That was about a week ago. But last night... or morning or whatever, he didn't take any. It scared me. I felt some kind of void in my stomach. I mean, I don't want to die of anemia or anything but it's just... I dunno.

What if he doesn't like it anymore?

And why should I care, right?

I am not ready to accept the reason. I can't even phrase it, yet.

"Officer."

"S-Sir." Stop spacing out like this!

"Lets take advantage of your visit, since I expect it to be the last this month."

Silence.

She stood up, walked around her desk and stood in front of me; spine almost inhumanly straight, eyes able to burn holes on my skin and lips in a straight line.

What else did I do now...

"There is no room in this sacred order for people who protect or join themselves with the undead, our enemy. My duty is also to protect this home, the Queen and my country from traitors who side themselves in any way with monsters. If I were you I would review the codes of conduct given to you when you first were recruited into the Organisation. "

Gulp.

Yes, I did screw it up this time.

"Sir if I may, Captain Bernadette had nothing--."

"I am aware of that."

Silence.

"Dismissed."

"Yes Sir."

I turned around and got out of that office. Oh god... the Inquisition has nothing to this office... nothing. I walked down the hallway sighing heavily.

Then I stopped.

My brow furrowed.

Is she using the Organisation to _warn me_ about Alucard? Is she calling me a _traitor_ for getting involved with him?

Ohhhh I am SO going to the shooting range now. GRRR!

Don't even think I didn't see right through you Hellsing.

* * *

Why do I have to be cursed like this?

He's here again... god I hate to feel watched! It makes me nervous!

Sometimes I wonder if sleeping with him was the best thing I could have done. Trying to understand his logic, which is a bit difficult because it's not logic at all, I guess this will make him think he has even more rights over me than before. I seem to get deeper and deeper into this shit. Yes, I am having fun but I wonder how this will end. I hate my sense of adventure sometimes. It gets me in trouble. And not only in the workplace.

Good, he's gone.

I have a little thing in my stomach since that night I saw Hellsing and him at the piano. Again my ego was bruised; jealous? Who knows... one can be jealous for stupid superficial reasons like attention; it doesn't have to mean anything. Plus this is as casual as it can be. After that day there was no talk, no cuddling, nothing. It was hardly a romantic first time anyways... I guess this qualifies as casual. Yes, he stayed with me but...

I am afraid to loose him.

My hands stopped weaving for two seconds as this random thought came across my mind. Is this the reason why I care if he likes my blood or not?

"You're really good at that." Clay interrupted my thoughts. My head snapped up and after digesting what he had said I smiled.

"Let me see your arm for one second..." I asked him and he stretched it toward me. I measured his wrist with the hemp strings and continued to weave.

Oh god... _loosing him_? What the hell am I--.

"Saw you talking to Alucard after the mission."

I gulped. Oh god, please don't tell me he heard what I said on the radio.

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah, Captain Bernadette asked me to look for you and when I found you I saw you two talking."

"Oh..."

Silence.

"I wouldn't get so close to him if I were you."

I looked up.

"Close?"

"You were standing very close to him."

Silence. I stopped weaving.

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah, he was invading your personal space."

"I think... _I_ would know when I don't want someone in my personal space... not to sound rude or anything..." What's his deal; it's not like people don't know we chat once in a while.

"Why would you want him in your personal space?"

"What is a personal space anyways..."

"We all have a personal space."

"What is it? 10.163 cms?" I said with a chuckle.

"I think sometimes you forget what he is..."

"It's kinda hard with the weird red eyes, big teeth and the disappearing thing..."

"I don't think you really understand what he is."

"A vampire? I was in Vampire 101 my first three months in Hellsing, read Bram Stocker and all that crap... I know what a vampire is..."

"Then how can you socialize with him that way?"

"Socialize?"

"I have seen you talk to other soldiers more cautiously than to him."

"So?"

"He's a monster."

"Clay... I don't know how personal your hatred towards them is but you know what? I respect it; I just see them differently and--."

"What do you mean _differently_?"

"Look at Seras... she's the personification of sweetness! How can you think all of them are the same?"

Silence.

"I can't believe you think this way..." He said shaking his head.

"I am entitled to my own opinion just like you."

"So what are you doing here then?"

"Here?"

"Hellsing."

"Killing scum just like you do."

Silence.

"Would you really protect a monster?"

"Clay, why are you taking this so personal?"

"Because I want to know your reason for being here!"

"It's a job!"

Silence.

I sighed. "Ok, so we are supposed to be better than them? And what, besides Alucard, have you seen vampires killing other vampires? You like people! And you started in the SAS! They kill people! At least vampires kill us because its part of the food chain--."

"How can you compare humans to that scum?"

I sighed.

Silence.

"I'm sorry if you find it offensive but I am here because I need a job... nothing else. Monsters, in my eyes, come in all shapes, colors, flavors and species... but this is just MY opinion."

Silence.

"So you WOULD protect a vampire..."

"If he/she deserves it, yes..."

"You know you could get in trouble for something like this."

"Believe me I know."

Silence.

"Your tone tells me you have."

"I protect who I feel should be--."

"No, your tone tells me you HAVE done it and gotten in trouble."

I sighed again and threw my head back. How frustrating.

"This makes no sense to me... how can you befriend someone who kills what you are for subsistence. It just makes no sense to me..."

"Something tells me there's nothing to worry about! That's all!"

"Ok... fine, sorry..."

"Great... now you're taking it this way--."

"--I wouldn't be surprised if you two were pals--."

Silence. I looked at him for a few seconds.

"And what if we are?"

He turned to me.

"What if in fact we are... I don't think there's a problem with that..."

He is staring at me, his eyes a bit bigger than normal.

"Why is it ok to be friends with Seras and not him?"

"He's not like her."

"So? You're not like Pip... and I hang out and have a good time with both of you... how is this different?"

"Ok, ok, fine I'll tell you..." He said faster and a bit louder "... call me crazy, but I don't like the way he looks at you... I don't know what intentions he has, as man or beast, but I have seen the way he looks at you... when you train, when in a mission, when you walk by and he happens to be there, which is very strange... he never _happens_ to be anywhere; it's all because of _something_... it is just extremely suspicious to me..."

Silence.

"Now you see?.. I think you should go to Hellsing and talk to her about this."

"Thanks a lot... I will be careful about this but I will not go to Hellsing unless I have proof something is wrong... I don't want him to get punished for something he hasn't even done--."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this--."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore--."

"You are definitely protecting him--no doubt now--."

"I am not!"

Silence.

"Has he been here in your room?"

"I don't need to be interrogated by you or anyone, unless it's Hellsing..."

He didn't seem to like my answer.

"Yes... you are very right."

"Stop testing me and implying..."

"Fine..." He said and stood up to leave. "I'll see you, then."

"Yeah..."

He opened the door and walked out.

Damn… was I that obvious?

* * *

"What did she say then?" Asked Seras a bit worried.

"Uh... nothing just scolding me for disobeying orders... at least I'm not fired." I said as we walked down the hallway. "So can you come this time?" I asked and turned to her.

"Why not! Let's go somewhere!"

"Cool! Tell Pip too... I'll tell someone else though; Clay and I are not in speaking terms." I turned the key and opened the door to my room.

"I'll +silence+ ask... wow." She whispered that last thing.

"Wha--."

I looked in the direction Seras was looking to see what had made her react like this.

God. Damn.

"Oh... good evening. Police girl... Officer."

Silence and lots of staring from the police girl and me.

If it wasn't for the voice I would have never thought it was the vampire, but a gift from the goddess Aphrodite after hearing my prayers every night.

"Hi..." I said absently. Seras was still silent and not moving.

There was the vampire, standing in a pair of black pants, a dark red wool turtleneck, very nice shoes, his hair as always, a bit short on the back but somewhat longer on the front, falling over his eyes. No red coat, just a black one resting on my bed. He was as always eying my shelves and my stuff, but not touching anything, his hands inside his pockets.

The beast was absolutely yummy-licious.

"Police girl... do you mind if I speak with the Officer in private?"

Silence and staring.

"Uh!--oh! no--no Master go ahead--I will uh... see you later."

"Bye..." I said still eying him. When I was sure I couldn't listen to Sera's steps I closed the door. "... so... what's with the eye candy?"

He walked slowly towards me; a panther about to catch it's prey. The eye contact was making me a bit uncomfortable, specially the way he was half smiling as he came closer. He stopped inches away from my face, and then slowly his nose got buried on my neck.

"Hmmm... pheromones..."

"One can't have privacy around you, vampire."

"I see you like it..."

"It?--what you did with yourself? Oh yeah..."

"Hmmm."

"Is there a reason?"

He backed away from my neck and stood straight in front of me his head cocked to one side.

"I am taking you out, of course..."

Silence. Processing...

"You're what, pardon me?"

"I. Am. Taking. You. Out."

"Out of the Manor?"

"Of course, milady..."

Silence.

"... you're asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"You."

"Da."

"W--where?"

"Get ready... let me worry about it--."

"But I need to know so I can dress appropriately..."

He looked at himself then back at me.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point..."

I studied him, gladly I will add, trying to think of what to wear that would match him.

"Fine... but I need an hour for this..."

"All I have is time, milady."

"Aww..." I said sarcastically. "I'll _call_ you when I'm done--."

"I can wait here--."

"No, I need privacy... I'll let you know when I'm done..."

"Very well... see you in a little while..." He chimed and disappeared.

I think this will be my hottest date ever...

* * *

_Again thanx for the reviews! Like CleoKat said... reviews are like cookies for authors (even bad reviews) and who doesn't like cookies! I DARE YOU TO SAY IT!_

_ahem_

_thanx again!_


	15. Aw our first date Yep a bit late

_A little lemon… looks almost like a green grape… just so you know… so if you're reading this at FF you know where you have to go to read the entire thing (__Adultfan. Nexcess__. Net) remember to correct the spaces after the periods._

_Sorry it's not as polished as it can be... been going crazy with some probs here but I promised I would update today... so gomen all the way._

_For kitty . Prrmeow...  
_

_**DISCLAIMER**: If you don't know it by now after (looks at watch) 15 chappys, dude... just, dude... (walks away). _

_

* * *

_

This is one of those times when I appreciate not having a close relationship with my mother. I can only imagine the conversation...

"_Hi mom—yeah I'm going out on a date... no, this guy from work... yeah, he's cute—very cute, I like his eyes... no, not blue... not green either—never mind... what does he do? Uh, he works with me mom... uh, how old? Uh... older than me mom yeah... a little old... but you could never tell, he he... his family? No I don't think I can meet them anymore, he he +sweatdrops+... he's an ex-King he he... of where?... nah nevermind mom, it's not even in the map anymore..."_

I am not even drunk yet and I'm coming up with these stupidities.

I walked to the mirror and checked how I looked for the last time as I put my earrings on. I haven't worn this dress in ages I swear. Now the thing is to not fall walking or something. High heels are not my preferred choice in shoes normally.

I sighed. How stupid am I to wear a strapless dress with a vampire close? I have to be nuts.

I saw his head peek from behind my shoulder through the mirror.

"I said I would call you..."

"Pardon me, milady, I got anxious."

"I thought patience was one of your virtues."

"Virtues? Me?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah..." I said and turned around. He was eying every inch of me which made me a bit self conscious. "... So where will we be going?"

He was looking at me in silence.

I had to smile at this.

"Where there are a lot of people of course... you know how I like to brag..."

Still looking, specially the top part of my dress.

"Can I do some bragging too?" I said and pulled him to me, my hands clawing at the sides of his shirt.

"Why not?"

Ah, his kiss.

(Rhythmic knocking)

"It never fails..." He said in into my lips.

"One question." I whispered still kissing him.

"Hm?"

"How are we getting out of here?"

He softly broke the kiss, looked at the wall behind me and nodded that way. I arched my back to look and saw a black swirl on the wall. I gasped as I felt his fangs tickling the skin peeking out of my top.

"What are you going to do about--."

"About?"

When my eyes came back to him I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. Hazel.

"What happened to your eyes?"

"Nothing... it is an illusion..."

"And your teeth!"

"We don't want to scare people, right?"

I was staring a lot.

"... this is awesome..."

"Thank you."

"Though... I like them the way they are normally..."

Silence and a cock of his head.

"Just do it for the others..."

"Very well... shall we?"

"Such a gentleman." I said as he helped me put my coat on.

"A monster is in all his right."

I hope we don't run into people we know... that would be the worst thing that could happen.

I feel like I'm having an affair or something.

* * *

"How much can you tell of a person just by looking at their thoughts?... in your experience." I asked after a little pause as we got comfortable inside our private booth. 

He took us to a very Modern/Victorian furnished jazz bar, live bossa nova, and did something very interesting to the host so she would seat us in here. She seemed dazed for a moment, even as she walked us to the booth.

So much for reservations with him.

We were speaking about reading thoughts and how he saw this ability. He sat beside me, closer than not close, arm stretched on the back of the couch, leaned a bit towards me. His eyes went from hazel to red depending on who would come close. He was being careful I guess.

He is spoiling me… he has no idea how much. I could seriously get used to this.

"The mind of a human is a very interesting place..." He said in this sensual whisper.

"You have said that before..."

"Reality and fiction intertwine with each other... it is the most sublime of puzzles. People might think looking into someone's mind is the answer to all the questions one has of that person... this is in most cases, untrue..."

He was with no doubt, royalty once. You can see it in everything he does when he wants to be civilized. From a simple gesture to the way he speaks or holds his glass.

"Why?"

"Thoughts are creations; true or untrue, in some cases not even the creator knows... it is always the same as reading gestures or expressions... I tend to go back to mannerisms and the like after looking into someone's mind and place everything together... in the end, it comes back to perception; except when _I_ am able to create those thoughts, but for the most part, I remain nothing more than... a spectator."

Silence.

Why doesn't he always act this way, I thought, still looking at him and nodding a little.

"Because... you're a delight when you are aggravated..."

I rolled my eyes and half smiled.

"You enjoy it too, that I can _perceive_ from you... in your mind and outside as well."

I shook my head a little, still half smiling.

"I don't think I should ask this--but I'm dying to know... what do you see? I mean in my mind... because you constantly look, I know..."

"We can't stay here past 3 in the morning, milady..."

"Summarize..."

I tried not to smile.

Great he has a change of clothes and I turn into a giggly teenager.

Silence. He looked thoughtful.

"You are what I remember labeling as... a surveyor of the mind..."

"Hm... ! What does that mean?"

"You maneuver... your mind..."

"Care to elaborate... I don't think I understand..."

"Remember that time we sparred?"

"Yes... my body still remembers."

"That was the first time I had peeked inside your pretty little mind; me, used to see that formless tumult of thoughts and feelings and what not that humans are... I see... conduits..."

"Conduits?"

"Yes... it looked like a fantastic structure... far from the chaos and the usual disorder... it surprised me and... intrigued me..."

"I don't think I can understand since I don't have that ability..."

"... so specialized... everything so methodically controlled and... canalized... a true work of art..."

"Really?"

"... Yes..." +silence+ "... but I have seen too many to know this was just a beautiful illusion... this is not what your mind truly is..."

Silence. I lost contact with his eyes for a bit and looked down at his shirt, not moving my head.

"I questioned the genuineness of it... but found nothing. +silence+ As with every illusion that is brought up for too long, it rapidly consumes what it tried to simulate and finally annuls it; there is nothing that precedes it. Only that illusion, that fantasy... which ends up turning into the only truth... your reality..."

Silence. I felt so naked. I couldn't look at him. Well, it is hard to hear one is pretty much a non-existing... creation of one's self; as paradoxical as it sounds.

"Why feel ashamed?" I looked up. "This only proves that strength you posses, that not only translates to good aim or impressive stamina in battle... being able to canalize feelings, inexistent handwheels that steer humans to absurd conduct, says how much you understand their falsehood... this is why I believe you are capable of so many things... things beyond human understanding." +silence+ "... and why I believed--still believe, you do not belong with them..."

Silence.

"Is this why you... didn't want to--."

"Maybe..."

"Maybe, maybe..." +silence+ "... you will never answer something compromising will you?"

He half smiled at me.

"Yeah... figures."

He was studying me still.

"So I guess you feel a bit upset about... what happened then?" It was still a question in my mind. Why had he _spoiled_ me after all?

Silence.

"Sometimes..." Our drinks were here, finally.

"Meaning..."

He waited for the waitress to be gone.

"I do... when I see you in battle, struggling against something not even the more experienced Captains would dare get close to... when I see how much stronger you could have become..." +silence+ "... I do not,... when I see your face contort almost in exquisite pain as you orgasm, every fiber of you that I come in contact with, clench around me... it is quite... extraordinary..."

Ok... I was NOT expecting this and of course I'm blushing... is it getting hot in here?

"I can see your point..." I tried to change the mood a bit as I controlled my smile.

"She blushes..." He said before his lips touched the glass.

I rested my side towards the leather couch and kind of sank in it.

"Shut up..."

More of his studying.

"You look beautiful..."

"Thank you... wow a direct, human-like compliment..."

"Humans are not the only ones who can appreciate beauty."

"Hmm...+pause+ was that your human eye color?"

"Yes."

"... I like it..." +pause+ "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, milady..."

Silence.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Very long silent pause.

"Wow... that's a lot of thinking..."

"I am deciding how to answer this..."

"Deciding? Just yes or no."

"It is... more complex than that..."

"Why?"

"There is always a motive behind a question like this... and a consequence."

"I have a motive?"

"Yes..."

"I just want to know, that's all..."

"Why?"

"The King of Evasiveness..." I had a bit to drink.

Long silent pause.

"Yes, I have..."

Silence.

"As a human or a vampire..."

"Both."

"Hm..." Silence. "I heard you came to London for a woman... +pause+ did you stay for another one?"

Again he reached for his drink and gulped, tasted it patiently, ignoring my question. I waited and kept looking at him but he was completely immersed in his evasiveness. But I didn't stop looking at him, even after he came back to my eyes.

"Ok... sorry I asked..."

"And you have no motives?"

"It's ok, you don't have to answer."

"I know..." Silence. He kept looking at me. "Ask a better question."

"Hm?"

"Ask what you want to ask."

It was my time to be evasive.

I looked away to the side, the band playing. I felt bad about tricking him into answering something so personal. But not like I could do that. He might sometimes let me think I have tricked him, but please.

I felt his fingers run through my hair delicately. I turned back to him a bit surprised by this.

"Since I've known you, I have seen you cry three times." He said thoughtfully. Maybe checking that his memory was not failing him.

"I have?"

"Yes... only once for your life... in my presence; even though it is in danger on a daily basis."

That day he went all crazy on me I think he meant.

"And even that time, as your hand landed on me, it was not to hurt me... not even to protect yourself."

Silence. Now that I remember, it's true.

"The other two... for the life of others... mine and your mentor's."

Silence.

"Does it surprise you that someone cares?"

Silence. He just looked back at me.

"I have heard the comments."

"What comments?"

"From other Officers, Captains... they very much dislike your work ethic... or, as I see it, _envy_ it."

More silence.

"Some have blamed me for this... people see us talk. But only you deserve credit for this attitude towards life... a _will_ I sometimes see repressed because of what you are..."

Silence.

"A mortal body is nothing but an obstacle, a cage... what drives a creature, what ever its nature, is its will... and this same will is what stays alive even after death."

His face got a bit darker. I wondered what he was thinking.

"Do you have any idea of what you could have become?" He whispered leaning a bit forward for emphasis. "That strength you already posses would have multiplied by itself so many times that it would have intoxicated you with power... it would have made you regret every single minute you were human; no cage or obstacle to hold you back, only your will, which would mold that same cage to whatever it needs to be. Make it so alterable it would become… nonexistent." He smiled devilishly. "... One of the various flavors freedom has."

I could almost taste his words. I could tell he knew what he was saying. And I got his point; he might be a slave, but his power is enormous. I guess freedom is also relative.

"I do not give my gift out freely..." He trailed off. His frown intensified for a moment and then left completely. "This is one of those moments." He had a sip of his drink.

"What moments."

"When I get frustrated with myself for what I did."

Silence.

"Is there a reason for this?"

"I am only male, milady... a monster but male nonetheless. An impulse."

"No, why make me one like you. A reason for this."

"I already gave you my reasons."

"Alucard I am not that superficial. _Why_. There are more implications to this than loosing one's heartbeat. '_Come with me'_ you said... why--."

"What you want to find you will... it is all a matter of perception."

"It can't be this only."

"Some things are not as complex as they seem; experience has given me certain ways of looking at things and its complexity we enjoy discussing after _work_, my dear, but remember I still am a monster. Sometimes it pleases me so I do it."

"Just for the record I am not convinced."

"I know that."

Yeah, of course. It's not like I can hide it from him anyways.

He chuckled and brought the glass to his lips.

I looked away to the side again, the band still playing. How I love bossa nova. I began to sway a bit to it, but turned back to him when I felt a little movement. I saw him on his feet looking down at me.

"... hmm?"

He extended his hand toward me.

"No you don't..." I stated strongly, very incredulously. He can't dance, can he?

"Why not?"

"I dunno... isn't it against some evilness rule or something?"

"Almost 600 years old as you said once... I had to learn sometime, right?"

Ok, he has a point. I accepted and he pulled me gently to where some people were dancing too. This is completely unexpected... I need a camera.

* * *

I stepped into the swirl first and after a quick dizziness I was in my room. Right behind me was him. I slid the coat down my arms and put it on the only chair in my room. His just disappeared. 

I sat on the bed, feeling my feet were about to explode. Dancing and walking is not too much fun with high heeled shoes. I found out tonight. But it was such a nice night out that we had to walk. So I didn't mind. But now I was dying.

"Ah-ah-ah ..." He said softly, sitting beside me and taking my hands away from my shoes. I was about to take them off.

"What--." He came over and began to kiss me, again in less than innocent ways.

My back slowly hit the bed. I felt his arm around me, moving me up toward the headboard. He rested on me, legs intertwined, our tongues fighting for control.

Oh, sweet torture. What to do:

Take his clothes off and feast on that yummy body of his...

or

Leave them on and take advantage of this rare occasion that he dressed up...

Decisions, decisions...

_**The rest at (Adultfan. Nexcess**__**. Net) hehe, sowy people...**  
_

* * *

_Are things getting clearer? Let me know… still there's a twist coming… and yes she already has a name and it will come up in the last chapter… it is only right since to just throw it in the story right now makes no sense. Thanx for the suggestions; I did choose from those suggestions though it will come up as the short version of the name. Why? You will see why. _

_RnR pls! Bai!_


	16. The famous Double Standard Issue

**  
**_Hey people! _

_Again, if you guys want me to explain missing chaps or send em or summarize em or whatever, give me your **emails or email me**... I won't post a summary as a review as I have been asked by some people... it's not fair for the people who go there and want to read reviews and end up reading a spoiler. Pretty pleeeeease understand this. Your emails are safe with me. My email is **suckubusj at gmail dot com**. _

_Even if you just wanna drop a note is cool. _

**  
_DISCLAIMER_**_: Alucard não é meu, eu é k sou dele__... YEAH EAT YOUR HEART OUT!... O.o… fine I'll go now. +pouts+_

_

* * *

_

ATTEMPT #023 – No progress yet.

I slowly sat up and looked at my side, checking on the sleeping vampire beside me. I poked him once. Twice. Yeah, he's asleep. I looked at his pale defined back; the only part of him exposed from under my sheets, as I thought what to try today.

Weird, he never gets under them…

(spank)

Who knew that under the long red coat he was hiding that ass?

Yeah, still sleeping… he never wakes up when I do that.

Ok, here we go.

I straddled his back and began to jump on him… over and over and over again; harder and faster until the bed began to squeak. I smiled. I've become so conditioned to this noise. I get horny if someone jumps on my bed or something.

As I expected; nothing. Still asleep.

I put my hands flat on the bed at the sides of his shoulders and leaned toward his head. My teeth went to his earlobe and started to… no not nibble… almost like munching on the cool skin.

I alternated the munching with the jumping on his back until I could coordinate both movements.

God, he's still asleep!

Munching, jumping, munching and more munch—

Oh, what's that?

I felt a soft purr from him which was becoming louder and louder as I munched more and more. No it wasn't that purring he would do when I would—never mind… no it was like an… annoyed one. Hmm… more munching, more munching.

(growls)

He's growling! I continued jumping faster and faster and by now his growling was very very clear.

"Go-od af-ter-no-on ba-by!" I said feeling so triumphant I was almost yelling out in a childish squeaky voice.

He turned his face to the side and growled ridiculously loud.

I jumped off him and ran to the bathroom, laughing hysterically.

I DID IT! VICTORY! I finally woke him up!... ok, now I have to take a shower and get ready.

"AAAAHH!" My scream I think could be heard all the way to the Camden. The idiot put my water ice cold in the middle of my shower. Yeah it was him, I heard him laugh. "FUCK YOU, DAMN ANIMATED CORPSE!"

This is war.

Yeah, there's nothing like waking up with a smile.

* * *

Where is Seras? I haven't seen her tonight. 

Maybe I wasn't informed of something? Or I forgot? Please God no. What if there was something scheduled with Sir Integra and I forgot?

Oh man, please no.

Crap, I can't go to her room. If I'm caught... hell no, I think my _'Get in Trouble'_ pass already expired for this month. Oh well, I'm going to get some tea now that I'm in here then. I hope they have strong Hindi tea or something. I'm feeling kind of mellow tonight, too mellow to go on a mission.

Grr, I can't even stand this shirt today...

I unbuttoned my collar and down to the two buttons after it. I'm in 'tank-top and boy-shorts' mode. I hate my uniform even more today.

As I headed toward the kitchen and prayed for Walter to be there, I saw a black dog walking across the lobby. As I looked at it, it looked back. I didn't know there was a Hellsing dog around. Never saw it. I kept looking at it as it sat on its back legs and began to pant in a friendly way. I always think they are smiling when they do that.

"Hey doggy." I said bending down, my hands on my knees. I love dogs. I love animals in general. Except roaches. All the rest I absolutely adore. And I would hurt a human before hurting an animal.

"C'mere, c'mere!" I said sweetly, snapping my fingers and the dog walked toward me with the 'smile' on it's face. It's a big dog. Maybe it's always locked up because Sir Hellsing thinks it's dangerous? I hate it when people do that. I'm so tempted to call animal control.

"Hi doggy..." I said smiling as it smelled my hand and licked it. I scratched the dog behind the ears, under the chin, on the top of his head. How cute! He was smelling me and licking my neck and face. Aww, he's kissing me!

"I wish I knew your name..." I said before he licked my lips. "You're a big kisser huh?" I held his snout and kissed him over the nose. "I have to look for Seras, wanna come?"

The dog answered by wagging his tail. Yeah, he followed as I began to walk away.

I miss my dogs so much...

Seras, where the hell is that girl?

"Oh well, I'll have some tea, she has to come here anyway, it's almost dinner time... well breakfast for her..."

He followed me into the kitchen and again sat on his back legs at the door. Oh, maybe no one paid any attention to him. It hurts me to see animals wanting attention. He walked behind me as I looked for a cup and looked at me; that 'smile' plastered on his face, swallowing now and then, and panting again.

"Do you want something? Water, food...?" I asked while checking around for dog food. Nothing. Strange. Maybe he was fed real food. I got my hand wet and walked to him putting it near his nose. He didn't lick so I guessed he wasn't thirsty either. As I walked back to the sink, he walked toward me again. I knelt to his height. He seemed hyper but I couldn't get what he wanted.

"What do you want?" I asked sweetly and went back to pet him. I chuckled as he kept sniffing me and licking the air. I kept kissing his head. How cute, he is so affectionate!

"Good evening Officer, you are ear... ly." Walter said as he came in the kitchen and his eyes rested on the dog.

"Hi Walter... I didn't know we had a dog!"

"Uh..."

The dog looked at Walter intensely. Walter seemed a bit scared.

"Walter you're afraid of dogs? He's so cute-- Hey!" The dog came back from staring at Walter to bury his nose inside my opened shirt and licking my skin. Walter sighed troubled and walked to the sink.

"I'll prepare your tea Miss..." He said with a worried voice. But I didn't really care. Some people are terrified of animals. Maybe he is one of those.

"What's his name Walter?"

"I'm not sure Miss, I will ask Sir Hellsing later tonight..."

"Please and thank you..."

I sat on the floor, my back resting against the wall, petting the dog while waiting for my tea.

"Where's Seras? I've been looking for her all afternoon..."

"She is instructing some new soldiers in the shooting range..."

"Oh riiiight... I didn't look there, smart me..."

Walter bent down to hand me my cup, eying the dog suspiciously. I thought it was so funny.

"Walter... c'mon... "

As I drank my tea the dog put his nose under my skirt from the front, I guess smelling me. I almost choked a laughter and kicked my legs for him to move away.

"Hey! I swear males are males..." I said playfully and half chuckling. I put my cup beside me and Walter sighed again.

"If you'll excuse me Miss I need to... help Sir Integra with some... paperwork..."

Haha, who knew Walter was scared of dogs.

Oop, I have to get going.

I knelt again and put my arms around the dog. I could feel he stopped panting.

I saw Seras walk by and then stop as she saw me, starting to laugh softly. The dog again got himself loose and put his nose inside my cleavage and licked inside some more.

"Hey stop that!" I said chuckling.

"MASTER!" She almost yelled and I looked around. Where?

Then I realized she was looking at the dog.

And that the dog didn't have a pair of eyes anymore.

It had 3 sets of eyes!

WHAT.THE. FUCK!

I screamed in terror and fell back against the wall. The dog was now looking at Seras, more like glaring and growling at her.

"M-Master that's not nice..." She stuttered and walked away from the dog.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MASTER!" I screamed still looking at the freak dog growling at Seras. I recognized the eyes. The dog was Alucard.

"You fucking--!" I got my gun out. " Seras get outta here; I'm gonna hurt your Master very much..." I stood up aiming at the dog who headed to the door. Seras whined and moved away trying to stop me but, oh please. She needs to feed more to stop me when I'm hysterically mad. I ran after the dog and saw him turn in a corner.

As I turned too I found myself face to face with Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing.

"Sir Hellsing." I said panting and put my gun away. "My apologies." I glared at the vampire in red standing behind her like a bodyguard, with a smirk on his face. She looked still as a statue and followed my eyes. She looked back at me letting out a 'hmpf'.

"I will speak to the vampire after the mission. Now get ready for deploy."

"Yes Sir." I said and glared murderously at the vampire. He winked at me with that stupid smirk. Guess who will pay today for my mood. Those Freaks and ghouls better get ready.

* * *

I arrived at my room after the mission and slammed the door behind me. I stomped to my closet, teared a page of psalms from a bible I had found a while ago in here and pined it to the main door with one of my knives. The crazy priest pines shit to the walls and doors to stop him I hear, so it better work for me. That fucking bastard is not coming in here tonight. If he does I will kill his undead ass. Fucking idiot who the hell does he think he is? 

I took a quick shower. I wanted to be there to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone. So in a heartbeat I was out, in my shorts and beater, waiting for the idiot to come and gladly kick his ass. I rested on the bed, waiting for a sound or a signal that told me he was behind the door. He couldn't come in because of the psalms I guess, so he had to knock. So I just waited.

... that son of a bitch.

Long Silence.

Why hasn't he come to annoy me? I know Sir Integra was going to say something to him about this but it's been a long time. I was feeling... disappointed. I felt even anxious. Wasn't he coming?

I found myself feeling a bit down. I couldn't believe it but I did.

Shit, what am I thinking...

(knock knock)

My head shot up. I had fallen asleep for a little. I stomped toward the door and stood in front of it, my arms crossed.

"Yes?" I wasn't opening it.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I said angrily.

"I see I'm not invited this morning... well..."

I felt him walking away. I opened the door angrily and looked at him walking down the hall to get out of the barracks. He turned around slowly as I stomped angrily toward him. I slapped him across the face and glared at him as his face returned to me. After turning on my heels I walked toward my room, slamming the door close when I was inside. My chest heaved with anger. After catching my breath I walked to the bed and sat down.

Damn, I don't wanna sleep by myself tonight. I really don't want to. Why did I have to hit him? Maybe just a yell or something. But he did act really disrespectful! Goddammit. My head is a mess.

I can't believe I hit him. This is so unlike me.

(tap tap tap)

I turned to the door. I want to open it.

No! Let him rot out there.

But I still want to open it. Grrr!

I clenched the bed sheets in my hands and stood up. It took me a few seconds to open the door. But I finally did.

He was resting against the door frame, sans hat and glasses.

"Do I deserve that?.."

"Yes you do..." I said my hands on my hips.

"I would like to hear a reason, if it is not too late, milady..."

Silence. I shook my head. Unbelievable.

"No doubt, men _are_ dogs..."

"I'm no man..."

"Oh please--."

"... on the other hand, you are _all_ woman..." He said with a sultry purr and smile. I grabbed the door and slammed it close again. I think I hit his face with it or something. I threw myself angrily on the bed and felt his chuckle behind the door still.

(tap tap tap)

"Go away!"

"And then you will come out when I'm walking away. Who is being the 5 year old?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know you want to let me in... then I am the one who likes to play games?"

I shot up and walked to the door, opening it angrily.

"I don't know how you usually treat women--."

"Do you know that today is the first time I have seen you smile in such a manner for more than five minutes?... I thought there was something wrong with your teeth..."

"Well you are rather annoying and that doesn't make me too happy."

"Who was the one not letting me get up this afternoon? If I'm so annoying why were you holding on to my shirt like a possessive feline?"

"Oh please... I didn't mind the thing about the dog too much... now going into my shirt and under my skirt was very inappropriate and had absolutely nothing to do with making me smile. It was disrespectful; doing it in front of Walter and Seras and purposely making me run into Hellsing—what the hell were you trying to prove? So don't give me that..."

"Can't decide how you look better, if angry or happy..."

I gave a step towards him, my eyes about to burn his.

"I'm not your _bitch_ Alucard. Go find yourself one, _dog boy_."

I slammed the door closed again.

I calmed my breath and tried to sleep. I didn't hear any knocking after that. And I didn't care. As it came out of my mouth I realized why I was really mad.

I have a feeling this is my fault too.

"_I thought this is what you wanted.."_

I slowly got on my feet again and walked toward the door. I opened it only a little; his head was almost against the door frame so there was no need to open it all. My voice was lower now; tense, but less eager.

"There is a big difference between a casual thing and being disrespectful." I said looking at him in the eye.

"So now you are expecting things from me? I thought a _casual thing_ was not about compromises or expectations... it is a risk you take in relationships of this sort... " He talked to me as if I was 5 years old.

"Now you understand when I told you you do not know how to deal with humans now a days?"

"Why? Because I turned into a dog and tricked you?"

"You very well know this is not about the dog thing."

"Then pray tell, what is it about?"

"What we do in here stays in here... people outside don't have to see it."

"Other people?"

"Walter doesn't have to see you have access to the inside of my shirt or skirt... it is disrespectful."

"Now is my time to say... you very well know this is not about Walter or Seras."

Silence.

"I expect an apology." I said very seriously.

"Not until you tell me the real reason for slapping me."

Silence.

"You read thoughts."

Silence.

His voice went to a whisper.

"I won't answer the questions in your mind until you ask me directly. And you will not get an apology from me until you can word the real reason for slapping me."

It sucks to be involved in this way with a vampire. One has no goddamn privacy.

"I will sleep alone tonight." I whispered firmly into his eyes.

"Very well." He answered seriously, his eyes also piercing into mine.

He walked away and I softly closed the door, feeling that stupid thing in my stomach... again.

There will be no double standard here and we just made it very clear to the other.

I shouldn't have slapped him, though. Crap.

* * *

_Can't thank you guys enough for the support... I never thought this was going to be accepted like this... +bows+ _


	17. 2 apologies and a Playstation 2

_Another random, weird chap like the one of the grocery store. It gets serious at the end, but the rest was just for fun. _

_Yeah, again I'm writing while drunk. _

_Plus, c'mon... remember "Willis"? Not even Hirano takes himself seriously._

_**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own crap... not even the games listed below. Pc gamer here._

_

* * *

_

"Coast is clear, you can come out." I heard Pip in the radio.

"You sure Pip?" Seras said.

"Shhh! No names! And what do you mean '_I'm sure'_?"

"Oh, right, sorry... is everyone in position?"

"Yes, everyone's in position. You may proceed."

" —Ow! Seras hold it up!" I grunted, in the mic too.

"No. Names! What did I just say?"

"Then help us here! It's slipping!" I snapped.

"Oh no, no slipping c'mon, zees is our only chance of survival."

"Ok we are heading to Point A, passing Point... P?" I said a little confused.

"What ze hell eez Point P?"

"Your barracks."

"I zink we discussed the codes before didn't we?"

"Yeah I forgot, what was that again?"

"Never mind, it just changed to Point P, zen. Heading to Point P... formerly known as complex 1."

"Thaaat's right! Now I remember!" I said excitedly.

"It's slipping!" Seras whined.

"Girls, stop... take a break, we can't afford a show now."

"No we're fine..." I said.

"What, you need more blood or somezeeng?" He said obviously taking to Seras.

"Don't say that! Only two people drink blood here!" Seras whined. "Someone can hear you!"

Long Silence.

"Hey where are you?" I asked finally.

"I see Point A." Pip said almost out of breath.

"Merc, get your ass over here NOW! We can't do everything!" I said a bit pissed. I heard him pant in the radio. "Run dude, I don't think I'm gonna make it..."

"Shit..." He breathed out.

He came to our vision, skipping stairs, trying to make it as fast as he could to the top floor of my barracks, were my room is; and where the Draculina and I were.

"So much for vampire strength..." Pip mumbled as he took a side of the apparatus.

"Shut up and look around!" Seras grunted. "... plus I haven't had dinner..."

We hurried to the door of my room, Pip opening it for us. There was a small table already waiting for the TV we had been planning on stealing for 2 days. Walter told us about it so we went to the storage and got it out of there. Sir Integra seems to hate TV but owns like 5 sets. So instead of asking for it like civilized people, we stole it better; a little more excitement. We needed it. Work has been really slow.

"Ok, now it's my part of the deal, you guys relax; this will take a bit long..." I said as I got out the cables and little screws to set everything up.

(about 2 hours later... and lots of smooching sounds behind me...)

I sighed and prayed. My hand slowly went to the switch on the back.

(tick)

I turned the TV on. Static. Ok, let's see. Video 2. Done.

Now the time of truth.

I pressed the black power button and looked at the screen.

" Whooo! I'm a fucking genius!"I said throwing my hands in the air, as I saw the browser on the screen.

"Have I told you… lately that I… love you..." Pip sang, as he lit a cigarette.

"You sound better drunk..." I mumbled.

"Is it working?" Seras asked.

"Yeah! Don't you see?" I said pointing at the screen.

"I've never played." She shrugged.

"Hey there's always a first time girl!" Pip said joining us on the floor.

" Ok, this is my repertoire." I threw the boxes on the floor in front of them.

"Hmm..." Pip eyed the boxes as he smoked his cigarette. " Tekken 4, Soul Callibur 2, Burnout 3, GTA San Andreas..." He browsed and looked at the last box with an icky face. " Dance Dance Revolution Max 2!"

"What! We all have guilty pleasures Frenchie!" I said in my defense.

" WHAT!" Seras took the box as if her life depended on it. "I want to play!"

"No, no, not me, let's play somezeeng we all like."

"Come oooon!" Seras whined.

"We'll play later then... let's start with something more democratic." I said and she pouted a bit but desisted.

"Devil may cry 3! I vote!" Pip said his hand in the air.

"I'm cool with that…" I said shrugging.

"Haven't played it." Seras shrugged too.

"Wanna see it? Maybe you'll like it..." He said taking the box. I snatched the box from him and put it in front of the police girl's face.

"The guy is sex, look at that..."

"Hmm…" She approved with a nod. Pip clicked his tongue.

"But it's only 1 player..." I said putting the box down.

"Tekken 4 it is then..." He said and I grinned.

"I'm gonna kick your sorry French ass, my friend..." I almost cackled.

" Uh, what is it about?" Seras asked.

"Fighting." I said and put the CD in the ps2.

"I'll make you swallow those words girl..."

Soon the word went around, still not too much thank god, and some of the Geese came to join us after about an hour of gaming. They were nice enough to bring some pizza, which I have no idea where they got from, and some beer. Seras had to go check every hour with Hellsing about mission updates so she didn't suspect something fishy was going on. Also to get some blood. She was a Tekken girl now and kicked my ass twice. Shame on me.

"Ok! Christie Monteiro is back my friends... who's ass am I gonna have the pleasure of kicking now?" I said as I sat in front of the TV. Monteiro is my girl I always play with her.

"Ok, who wants to play, I'm done getting my ass kicked by women... my ego is not in shape now..." Chris said earning a glare from me.

"Would it be better if it was a man who was?"

"I don't want to answer cause I don't think there is a right answer, right?"

"Right" I almost hissed.

Be thankful you're cute and supply us with beer, man. I would have kicked you out of my room for that.

"Anyone?" He called out. Pip came to his rescue.

"Zee_s_ time I will kick your arse..."

"How many times have you said that today with no positive result?"

"5"

"Add one more..." I said smiling wickedly.

We started the match and of course, I wouldn't even let him near me.

" Merde..." He mumbled. "... let me fucking get up, girl, c'mon..." He said with his cigarette in between his lips.

" Get up then..."

"What are you doing?" A deep voice said very close to my face. I recognized the profile with the corner of my eye and the chilly presence... and also by the silence in the back of the room...

"Don't bother me now Alucard, I'm teaching this little boy here not to mess with me..." I said absorbed in the game.

"So this is why everything is so calm?" Still his mellow voice beside me.

"I guess..."

I could feel him looking at my hands on the controllers, then at the game and then back at the controllers.

"I gather you are the Capoeira girl?" Alucard asked.

"You mean the winner?" I raised my arms in the air.

"Shit-fuck! One match, one battle... zees time you are bloody going down, woman." He got on his knees.

"Here we go, repeating yourself over and over again..." I laughed maniacally. Alucard looked at me seriously. I bet he was confused out of his mind.

"_We have no privacy now..." He purred inside my mind._

_No answer from me. I was still a bit upset with him._

"_Oh? The infamous silent treatment…"_

"Hahaha, Mr. Alucard is my lucky charm, who knew!" Pip laughed and I grunted.

"Alucard don't distract me!" He chuckled beside me, the idiot. I was losing. But I regained my strength not even letting the Merc up, making the player spin her legs in the air like crazy. I was relaxed, moving my fingers over the controllers while Pip was almost fighting himself, moving from one side to the other and grunting in ...pain? Talk about getting into the game.

"Thank you, thank you." I said arrogantly as I knelt to take a bow facing my audience behind me. Seras golf-clapped and Pip just grunted, throwing the controller aside in frustration. "I will be accepting my money now sir?"

Alucard was resting against a wall, almost studying our behavior like some scientist researching a rare species; his head tilted to one side, sometimes looking confused.

"Since we won, we choose the next game..." Seras said.

I didn't have to ask her. I went to my closet to get the mats out. She was putting the game in the console.

"Non, non, I 'm not jumping around like a retard..." Pip said and began to light another cigarette.

"PIP! WHEN YOU'RE DONE THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW!" I yelled for the fourth time already, signaling the remains of various cigarettes on my floor.

He just looked at me as if I had not just yelled at him.

DDR MAX 2+ the game and Seras said.

"You play, I watch..." Jake said sitting comfortably on my bed.

"Standard mode?" I asked.

"Yup" Seras answered and suddenly became very hyper.

"Stop pressing the arrows! I'm trying to get the game going here!"

"Sorry!"

"Random song? Or wanna start with something nice and 120-ish to warm up."

"Let's warm up, haven't played in a while..." She said.

I had not played in a while either. Damn I started getting C's and not because the song was hard, but because I forgot the mechanics of the game. But the police girl is a goddamn monster! No pun intended. She was doing _freestyle_ and everything! I was amazed! She royally kicked my ass. Alucard was beaming; though I don't think he understood what was going on...

"'B'! A 'B'? What the hell!" I almost yelled at the TV.

Seras jumped excitedly, she did so well. I turned around and tried to think of a way to get the Merc to play when my eyes stopped at the door. Clay was there, his side against the door frame looking at me. I looked at him seriously, not knowing if to say hi or not, since we had not spoken since that time he stormed out of my room. I waved a little half smiling. If he was here was because of something. The rest were so busy with their conversations about women, guns and money that didn't even see him; except a pair of crimson eyes in the corner of the room. I felt them on me, but decided against turning toward them. Clay gestured with his head outside of the room. I guess he wanted to talk. What the hell, let's see what he wants.

Damn, he's hot.

"Hi" He said shyly.

"Hey..."

"I've been trying to reach you all week but either you're not here or in the shower or--."

"I'm just feeling really tired after missions lately." I'm so full of excrement.

Is my nose getting longer?

"Yeah, I've seen you... you're pushing your—never mind..."

"Yeah I guess... I'm just really... physical or something..."

Silence.

"I'm really sorry about that day--."

Silence.

"I have no right to question you or anything, you were right."

Silence.

"I just worry about you... I mean, it's just you in this building and..." He lowered his voice. "... I hear things… how some men here want to--you're the only woman here besides Seras and to top it all you are nice to everyone and beautiful and—I dunno, I just don't want anything to happen to you..." I was about to speak when he spoke again. "... my concern is; what if he sees you like that, too… and I know you can take half of us on your own, but not him—and I'm sorry if in fact you two are close, but it's just my view as a man..."

Silence.

"I will keep it in mind... thanks. But I do ask for a little respect when it comes to my opinion. I respect yours, please respect mine."

"You're right... I'm sorry." His blue eyes wouldn't leave mine, I guess waiting for an answer. He gave two steps toward me. Oh God, what to do... "I don't see you anymore... " He said with a half smile and a playful tone. "I have to say I am starting to miss you..." His smile turned a bit flirty.

"I just take a shower and go to sleep when I get back."

"Came to ask you out last leave we had but you didn't answer."

I gulped. "Yeah, I wanted a break from work and people and everything and just... walked down streets and window-shopped and stuff..." Yeah. Right.

Window, mirror. Hmm…

"Whenever you have time just... call me or drop by."

"Yeah, I will... don't you wanna come play for a little while?" Crap, I remembered Alucard in there. I shouldn't have asked.

"Nah it's ok... I'm not really into video games..."

"Oh, ok..." I smiled and shifted my body a bit. "I'm gonna go back in..."

"Ok, will you call me?... or did I mess it up that bad that you--."

"I'll call you..." I smiled. He gave one more step toward me and almost asked for permission with his eyes. I felt a pressure in my chest which surprised me and made me just... stand there. He leaned over when he saw I wasn't objecting to his look and kissed me softly on the lips. It was a short kiss thank god. He backed away rubbing my arms up and down softly.

"I'll wait for that call." He whispered and smiled.

I didn't even say _bye_. He turned around and left.

Shit.

Why the fuck am I feeling as if I'm… _cheating_? I gave a small grunt before going back in my room.

-

Ah... finally silence. The last ones to leave were Pip, Chris, Seras and Johnson. I missed the silence in my room. Plus I wanted to see Mr. Dante in action, yum, and this game is only one player so—.

"What do you find so fascinating about this..."

"+jump+--scared me-- uh... there's always a… mission, I guess."

"Hmm." Alucard said approvingly.

I knew it was a good answer for him. I smiled inwardly and restarted the game.

"Here" I said and gave him the controller. He glared. "Take it, it won't bite you..."

He looked at me seriously. "I'll teach you if you want." I lured him with the thing, moving it from side to side as if hypnotizing. "You can kill a loooot of people in the game. With cool guns and even other stuff!" He took the thing in his hands with a slight frown. I stayed beside him, my hands on the controller showing him moves and what each combination of buttons could do.

In no time he was playing by himself. I smiled at the image. I didn't want to see his face afraid he might stop... not that he would get embarrassed, I think, but I just didn't want to risk it. This was the right game for him. Devil May Cry 3 still gives me a headache. And he seems to be good in every fucking thing he does so... let's see.

Wait… I thought we were mad at each other…

* * *

"Walter you can't say anything!" Seras said putting her hands together in prayer. 

"Shouldn't you be like s_pontaneously combusting_ for doing that?" I teased.

She threw a rolled napkin at me.

"Do not worry Miss Seras, Sir Integra has never asked for her other television sets. She is too busy to worry about things like this."

"You better be right or--"

"Good Evening." A deep feminine voice said and we turned to the door.

Sir Hellsing.

"Good evening Sir" We saluted.

"At ease" She took a toast and some juice. Then, she went back where she had come from, inside the mansion.

"Have any of you seen Alucard tonight?" Walter asked, looking at me more than Seras.

"Nop." We answered. I shrugged to make him see I was serious. And I was.

Where is he anyway?

Until it hit me.

I smiled and stood up.

"I'll see you later girl... I'm gonna go check on something... thanks for the tea Walter." I walked toward my room.

-

"Alucard." I said leaning on the door frame. He was giving me his back, sitting Indian style on the floor in his pants and shirt, with the controller in his hands and playing Devil May Cry 3. Again.

"Alucard?" I sing-songed louder.

" Yeeeeees?" He answered

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Time doesn't exist Officer, haven't you learned anything?"

I began to crack up silently behind him.

"People are starting to suspect something is wrong. I think you should at least make a cameo at the mansion."

"I... don't... think so..."

I had to hold my stomach. This was so cute.

"Alucard I'm serious, what if there's a mission..."

"I will be there once I finish this level." He answered absently.

"That's what you'll tell Hellsing?"

"Already did..." He said and I stopped laughing.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, she didn't know what I was talking abou-- _futui!_" He got hit or something. "She gave me that '_you don't make decisions_' speech I have heard a thousand times... and something about the seals. I can't remember."

"Oh god, I've created a monster." I said and walked out of the room leaving him behind. I walked back, peeking my head in the room.

"Get ready tonight then, if there are no missions I'll kick your undead ass in Soul Calibur."

"I will like to see that..." I could hear him smirk. I chuckled feeling this was so unbelievably cute, and left to the shooting range.

I need a camera!

-

If there is something I ask of people, is to respect my sleep. This job is seriously exhausting and when I hit the bed, I hit the bed. It's very likely that if a bomb goes off, I would sleep through it. So if I wake up because of some noise, it means the noise is very very VERY loud and disturbing.

So I don't have to say how my blood began to boil in anger as I felt my head being banged repeatedly by explosions, hard rock music and random dramatic conversations.

"Alucard." I said jerking up, my eyes closed, hair crazy, or as crazy as my limp straight hair can get, not even looking his way.

Mood: murderous.

"Yes?"

"I'm trying to sleep here..."

"Oh, good morning then..." He said absently.

"Alucard!"

"Hmm?"

"_The game_ doesn't let me sleep... get it?" I said sarcastically. "Don't like, vampires have super sonic hearing? Put the volume in 2 so I can sleep..."

"It's not as fun..."

"ALUCARD!"

"Alright it's in 3."

"2!"

"Fine, 2..." He said.

Silence.

I rested back on the bed and tried to sleep, giving him my back.

His presence in my room was making me anxious. He never apologized and I never told him the real reason for slapping him. I didn't want to hear it myself, now even less tell him. I had not seen him since that happened which was 2 days ago… until today. So I didn't know how to act around him. Yes, I showed him how to play, came to look for him earlier tonight… but it was just… weird. I felt there was something hanging in the air still. Plus he had never been _mad_ at me like _that_ before. And we say crap to each other all the time.

Well, he didn't look mad per se…

Did I really hurt him this time?

Nah… Alucard get hurt?

Silence.

"I am not using you in front of Integra."

I opened my eyes. My heart started to pound ridiculously fast.

"... if this is what you think, you are wrong."

Silence.

"I'm sorry for hitting you... I had no right..."

Silence. Very very long silence.

I could clearly listen to my heart beating. I knew the apology was not coming and I wasn't expecting it. So I was going to break that damn silence casually.

"Try and not be so light on clothes when you come to play and the Geese or someone else is in here... I don't think that more than 50 percent of your clothes piled beside my bed is a very good impression for outsiders..."

"Maybe if they see my clothes piled beside your bed, they might stop commenting on your... anatomy plus theirs on their beds... or other places they suggest..." He said as-a-matter-of-factly.

I smiled at this. I still can't believe he gets jealous.

"Please... it's not right…"

Silence.

I felt everything being turned off. I guess he was leaving. I sighed softly and closed my eyes too. Please heart of mine, stop beating like this... I need to get up early--.

"It won't happen again."

My eyes opened again.

There was no need for him to elaborate. I understood. It was his way of accepting he did wrong in front of Walter and Seras but kept his word on not apologizing. I didn't say anything. But again I felt something funny in my stomach. As I was about to ask him if he wanted to stay I felt the sheets being raised and his weight on the bed.

I'm not sure how to feel about this.

A fight. A make-up.

He yielded. I yielded.

The implications are too scary.

The ambivalence is killing me. My wall is slowly breaking.

I'm in deep _deep_ shit.

* * *

_See Michael, Dante did a little appearance._

_Thanx for bearing with me and this nonsense chapter. RnR pls!_


	18. Girltalk and more ps2

_Here we have a look at the Officer's mind. Confusing... but who said humans were easy to figure out? _

_**DISCLAIMER**: (raspberry)_

_Oh and that big conversation in italics almost at the end is a mini-flashback... whatever that means. :D_

_

* * *

_

"Hullo luv, can I speak weez you for one second—zanks."

I was practicing at the shooting range when Pip's hand dragged me out of the booth by my arm. He didn't look too happy.

"... ok, can you please tell Alucard zat we want to play too?"

"Wait a minute, you can't just barge into my bedroom when ever you want a match of Tekken, you know..."

"Well, I did suggest to put it in a more public place--"

"The Playstation is MINE if I well remember and no, you can't go in with your buddies and have a party while I'm here or anywhere else, ok?"

"The point is ze bloodsucker never helped to make this happen, which would have been a piece of cake weez his _teleport_ zeeng, and now every time we go near ze TV, he hisses like a pissed off cat!" I can't stop my laughter. " ... you might zeenk he's adorable but my back still hurts from ze little mission we went through to get that TV up zere..."

"I'll talk to him-- wait he's still there?"

"All fucking night!"

" ... jesus..." I started to crack up again. "Let's go then."

I'm sorry it's just too goddamn funny.

--

I stomped toward the vampire and stood in front of the TV , my hands on my hips.

"Alucard, we want to play." I said firmly and sighed. " ... and get dressed."

He looked at me and hissed. I saw Seras and Pip hide behind the door frame in fear.

"Yeah yeah, hiss all you want..." I took the controller away from his hands and knelt to his level.

I heard Seras gasp.

"Alucard, you have been playing since 1700 hours. It's our turn now... don't make me use all the silver I have in my jewelry box." I studied his appearance and whispered." ... and get dressed, what did I tell you about this?"

I heard Seras clear up her throat. I looked up and saw Pip and Seras inside the room already, getting ready to play, I guess.

Seras was glaring at me. A lot.

"Oh!... right... sorry guys but it's _girls night; _I almost forgot... so you will have to come back tomorrow."

Pip turned around and left the room after a shrug. Alucard was just looking at me playing dumb, still sitting on the floor.

I sighed and stomped toward the pile of red and black clothes and accessories beside my bed, carried them clumsily and threw them outside the door.

"C'mon, out." I pulled the vampire by his shirt toward the door. Surprisingly, he let me do this. Once he was standing outside the door, I closed it with a slam.

Seras stared at me as I walked back to the console.

"I can't believe you just did that. You're my hero." She said, her eyes wide.

--

"Ooh nice one." I said as I got hit by the police girl.

"He-he, you taught me that."

"Damn, I'm not teaching you anything else! Jeez..." I tried to keep my guard up but it was too hard. "... are you like reading thoughts now?... goddamn..."

She chuckled.

I am seriously getting my ass kicked here. I am not teaching anything else to the police girl, I swear. She definitely is Alucard's fledgling. She is becoming so good at gaming that it puts me to shame.

"So are there any missions?" I asked.

"One tonight but it's not confirmed yet."

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this but I hope there's none... this game is getting interesting."

"It is!"

"--fuck, I'm sucking so much today—argh get off!"

She chuckled adorably.

Silence. Just the sounds of the game.

"So did you and Master talk after that time?"

"What time—shit."

"When he turned into a dog."

"Oh you mean—yeah... we're ok now."

Silence.

"He apologized?"

"Not technically, but he said it was not gonna happen again."

"Wow."

"What."

"Master apologizing... hard to believe..."

"He didn't."

"It sounds like an apology to me."

Silence.

"Whatever..."

"Just checking; are we talking about my Master?"

"Yep."

"The bloke in red."

"Ja."

"Wow..."

"What's the deal?"

"He has... I don't know, he has been doing so many things that he normally doesn't do."

"I guess... if you say so... you know him better than I do..."

"He's taking you out on dates--."

"ONE date."

"--he's acting possessive and jealous, apologizing, he's playing video games..." She looked around the room and then whispered. "...he's having sex for god's sakes... it's the end of the world as we know it..."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked chuckling.

"I don't know... I just can't see him doing things like that..."

I chuckled some more. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know... he's so..."

"Unapproachable, yeah I know." I smiled. "Well, he IS very gifted in that department... both in skills and equipment--."

"Oh god..." She was blushing.

"What! Dude, he's hot... when you go pass the horrible clothes, of course..."

"Well, he did look good that time..."

"_Good_?... this game is good. He was visually orgasmic that time..."

She chuckled.

"Well he must be gifted... he's quite old..." She commented.

"Yeah..."

"Did you ever get to sleep with Clay?"

"No girl, I told you already..."

"Why not?"

Silence.

"I dunno... I just... don't wanna..."

"Hmmm..."

"What."

"I didn't say anything."

"You are 'hmmmm-ing' me, what..."

Silence.

"Are you sure you're not feeling something?"

Silence.

"Pause."

She paused the game.

"Do you mind of I block your Master out?"

"Nop." She shrugged.

I stood up and put up a barrier like that time me and Alucard had that fight, so he couldn't come in or eavesdrop.

When I was done pinning stuff to the walls, I went back to continue the game.

"He confuses me so much Seras... or I'm confusing myself, I dunno..."

"I thought you liked that."

"Not anymore... it's nice when it's starting I guess..."

"Oh... are you in love with him?" She said her eyes wide, her voice almost an amused whisper.

"No no no no no... but... god, he shows me these things that confuse me..."

"Why do they confuse you?"

Silence.

"Can I tell you something? But you have to promise me NEVER to tell Pip."

"No I won't, what is it?"

"Seras I'm serious."

"I promise, what is it?"

Silence.

"Remember that time I asked you about Hellsing and him?"

"I think I know where this is going."

"No you don't." I chuckled. "That time I got drunk with your Merc and left you two in here, I went to look for your Master... and found him with Hellsing, pretty much swallowing her face... and vice versa, in his room."

She gasped.

"Girl, I am so serious--."

"I won't tell, I won't, I swear."

"Remember I'm a KnifeMaster and I love silver."

"OK!" Her eyes went a bit wide.

Silence.

"How did you feel?"

"No, it didn't really bother me... I mean, it did but not because of what I thought."

"Explain."

"I thought that it had been the kiss in itself... which is what you might think too, but I'm not like that... when it comes to casual things..."

Silence.

"Then I saw them together at the piano--you know when I was gonna kick his ass for the pregnant thing--."

"Yeah I remember—so can he get you--? You never told me..."

"No he can't—thank god, man..."

"Ok good, go on."

"And again I felt the thing in my stomach."

"Butterflies?"

"No, not this time..." I sulked. "I saw intimacy Seras. Even when they were not touching each other at the piano. You see, real intimacy needs nothing... not a touch or a kiss... and that's what I saw in there..."

Silence. She looked confused.

"I don't know what to tell you. I'm not sure what it is you are worried about; if you say it's casual and you are not feeling anything then why would you care about Sir Integra?..."

"To be completely honest with you, I'm not sure either... but it's there and it bugs me and I feel like I'm loosing strength at times and... I dunno..."

"It sounds like you _are_ starting to feel something for him... "

Silence.

"No it can't be." I said with conviction.

"Why not?"

"Because... I can't find anything tangible and... transcendental that I could love about him..."

"But ... sometimes we just... fall in love."

"Nah... I don't work like that..."

"You think he loves her?"

Silence.

"I'm not sure, I dunno... there's something there and I can't quite see what it is... I have only seen them together those two times... and if he _does_ love her, I don't wanna be in the middle of something like this... it's bad karma or something."

"Oh!... you are afraid he's using you to make her jealous!" She said smiling, as if finally getting it.

"He said he's not..." I said and looked at her. "... should I believe him?"

"He's a bit of a loon but he's not a liar... why would he lie anyways?"

"Well, to get it his way."

"I don't think he's like that... he can find other ways of getting her jealous if he wanted to... he's very smart. If he lies about it, he would be almost... in need of you... and that shows weakness... I think. "

Silence.

"This is getting too complicated for my taste." I said rubbing my face with my hands. "He was right when we had that fight... I'm starting to expect stuff from him... it scared the hell out of me."

"Why."

"He is the last person I want to feel attached to. And expectations do that to you... I dunno maybe that's what I need... to stop being so exclusive to him and maybe I'll stop this stupid need for him before it turns weird... well, weirder."

Silence.

"Everything would be simpler if he just... didn't... give anything back and continue being his bastard self as in the beginning. I would just back off and that's it. But sometimes he... yields or tells me things that... I dunno..." Silence. "His possessiveness for starters; at first I understood the 'virgin-blood' thing, but why still?... I can't help but not only see it as something problematic. Or that time my Sifu died... yes, no hug, but what he told me... it was _his_ way of caring, I guess." Silence. I smiled. " ... that night... the famous date. He said so many things..."

"He respects you, that I can see."

"I guess."

"And that says a lot. He's not very fond of humans. And this you know." She shrugged. "I always thought it was strange that he talked to you so much... even before anything happened."

Silence.

"Don't pay attention to me I'm worrying about nothing. I'm not even making sense."

"I think you're in denial."

I looked at her. I sulked a bit more.

"Well... normally I almost escort a casual _thing_ out of my house/room when he's done with me and me with him... but I do like it that he stays... and he does. Every time." Silence. "... even when we don't have sex."

"If you have a question why don't you ask him?"

"You crazy? With that ego of his?" I scoffed. "... girl, if his dick was as big as his ego, he would've internally snapped my neck with his first thrust."

The police girl began to laugh hysterically, her back hitting the floor. I smiled too and laughed with her. She can also be naughty when she wants.

"Yeah you're right—about the ego, not... the other thing..."

More laughing.

"Never mind police girl, just kick my ass again in this stupid game... I'll manage."

"I'm here just so you know." She gave me a sweet smile.

I put my head on her shoulder and she rested hers on my head.

"Plus... I like you for him."

I smiled and felt my face a bit hot. She is so cute it hurts.

Fuck she IS kicking my ass again! Grr! I'll bring the Merc up here to hand me back my dignity.

Yeah, maybe what I need is a little... fresh air.

* * *

(rhythmic panting, bed squeaking)

I knew he was going to spoil me.

Tonight I called Clay and asked HIM out. We went out dancing and drinking; we talked about us. He asked me the dreaded question; if I had been hurt before. Great, he thinks I don't wanna be his girlfriend because of that. Just by that comment I can tell he doesn't know me at all. I guess one can get a bit spoiled too when communication is limited to opening one's mind and not saying a word. Shit, he's spoiled me even more than I thought.

Of course I didn't leave my room without a little... drama.

"_One word for you, vampire; NU." I said my eyes a bit wider than usual looking at the furious vampire in front of me._

"_I will not tolerate this."_

"_Like I care..."_

"_I can very well make you stay inside this room."_

_I glared silently and murderously at him._

"_You will make me stay—no no no no...+sarcastic chuckle+ you lock me up in here, dead guy, and I will put every single knife I own through you, do you hear me?"_

"_You won't do such thing."_

"_You do not know me well enough to say that."_

"_But enough to know you wouldn't."_

"_I will do it against my will... I am good at things like this... been acting this way all my life--."_

"_You will tell Brendon it is over between the two of you."_

"_No vampire, the only thing I will do in life is die cause I have to... the rest is my choice and guess what... I CHOOSE to go out with him tonight--."_

"_I will not let this happen... +silence+ ... less dressed in that manner--."_

"_You do NOT want to go there. Go bother your Master and leave me alone."_

_(knock knock)_

"_You are not leaving this room." He came dangerously close to me and whispered in between teeth._

"_Noapte bunã..." I said and went around him. But his hand spun me around toward him. "--let me go or I'll scream_."

"_You will not act like... this."_

_Silence._

"_Like what, say it... like a cheap slut?... then go and look for an expensive one like your Master and leave me alone."_

_Silence._

"_I will scream if you don't let me go."_

_(knock knock)_

_He gave a low growl._

"_I am not kidding."_

_He glared at me._

_As I was about to scream, he disappeared. I was going to do it, believe me. And it seemed he believed me too because he didn't return. I went to the door and opened it._

"_Hey..."_

"_Hullo luv... wow, I feel it has been forever..." Clay said with a smile._

"_Aww..."_

"_I... thought you were with someone just now..."_

"_Me? Nah, no one... c'mon let's!"_

"_Let's go!"_

And we left.

And we went on the date.

And then we came to my room...

And here we are... drunk and horny, _shagging_; yes the English way...

Damn, it feels weird...

It is hard to pretend it's the vampire because there are so many things that contradict him; the warmth, the smell of cologne, the lack of those animal grunts and little growls... how can I pretend, it's just too hard.

Shit he's taking looooong... I think he's waiting for me... this is not good...

His skin feels hot, and I mean HOT down there. Is this normal? If it is, I don't like it... and the friction with the fact that I was not 'well prepared', is not feeling too good... actually it's very uncomfortable.

Ok... here I go... my first faked orgasm...

There, take it. Now cum please; it's getting sore...

I hate condoms; they feel awful, specially the end of it, the base. It hits me too hard where I am most sensitive. How can people use this...

Yessssssss... finally. Finally, finally. Great it's done. Pheeww, I thought it would never end.

I shouldn't have done this. It only makes you appreciate _other_ things.

What a mess. I hope he doesn't stay the night.

God... I am the worst person in the world.

* * *

_Again thanks for the reviews... they are definitely cookies... (chomp chomp)_


	19. He loves me, He loves me not LOVE WTF?

_Thanks again for the reviews… believe it or not, they are a good incentive to have chappys ready. If you guys are paying attention, you must know by now that, yes, I am updating Mondays and Thursdays. YAY! _

_OMFG SO MANY HITS! 3000+ in 3 weeks! YAY!_

_**DISCLAIMER: **There's nothing like a real Nosferatu's piggy-back ride. Wheeeeeeeeeeee!  
_

_

* * *

_

It's been a week since my date with Clay.

And nothing from the vampire.

I don't even see him in missions. I even asked the police girl if he was ok. I can tell she felt a bit weird about this. I mean, that time we talked about him, she made me see everything in a more positive way. And a week later from this conversation... he disappears. But hell, I don't know what he is doing with Hellsing either! What the hell, right?

Ambivalence is the word of the day. Or week.

"Hey…" I heard a familiar voice beside me.

"Hm?" I looked up at dark brown hair and blue eyes.

Pickman.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." I said with a nod and a smile.

The humming of the van was not helping. It only made me drown even deeper into my own thoughts. Now I know why one should keep away from dating… or whatever, in the workplace.

I looked around, finding others in the same thinking daze as me. But I knew they were just sulking about the mission; their reasons for being here, their beliefs. It was all clear to me, so I never thought about mine. No one knew or suspected the little soap opera that was taking place behind the scenes. I guess no one had listened to the vampire and me contradict one another about a woman's or a man's role in a relationship; or his possessive episodes; or our pleasure screams or grunts early in the morning; or the way Hellsing would glare at me from the corner of her eye before every mission, in very dissembled ways. Yes, that's all she did. She knew I was not stupid. And if she tried to fire me or something close to it, only based on her personal reasons, I wouldn't go without a racket. I always kept my ears open for gossip; it was my way of protecting my job. The police girl also kept me informed of this. She was almost like my spy.

"Officer?" I heard Pip's voice in the radio.

"Sir."

"Take good care of my men…"

"Yes Sir."

--

"Sir, they're coming--all of them." I panted into my mic.

"Roger that, Officer."

I ran toward the van, having to dodge trees and the like. It was a very hard field to run in, and well, I am human. I get tired and things sting my skin. I need a bath once I get home to close all these little wounds...

My legs felt hot after about 30 minutes of intense running; and I mean _running_ as in _for my life_. The ghouls were coming after me and these were not so mindless and slow as the other ones we have encountered. These act like Freaks even. This is getting scary… too scary for my taste.

And yes, I am stupid enough to go with the '_bait'_ plan but this time I have permission from Pip. According to him, by me directing ghouls else where, the number of civilian casualties would drop considerably… and also, it would keep me away from mischief.

I didn't like that last reason. It sounds stupid.

He kind of liked the plan and my squad turned into a '_bait unit'_ almost. But still I would only watch over them; Pip was the Captain, as always. I guess they were scared to see what I could do with a squad of my own.

Oh and there was a deal; Pip made me promise to use my guns.

One word +raspberry+.

"I can't see the van I think I'm lost". I said still panting and looking around me; all I saw were trees.

"I can see you Officer, just continue forward..."

"… How can you! I--I can't see anything just--."

"_Go forward, you are trapped in an illusion." Alucard said into my mind. My heart skipped a beat. He's here._

"What! How do I get out?" I said out loud getting a very bad feeling about this.

"_Walk forward... leave it to me from now on…"_

I took a deep breath. "… An illusion… an illusion; walk forward no matter what I see..." This was my new mantra.

"Officer?"

"I am trapped in an illusion it seems Sir. I gather everyone else is back safe? I can't reach them through--."

I heard Pip sending people forward as he checked with me that everyone else was fine. I ignored everything that was in front of me. I better close my eyes... yes this is better.

I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm--.

I gasped. A sharp pressure on my stomach made my eyes fly open.

I looked down at my body…

Oh… god…

… blood… there's—there's—oh, god—

… something is coming out of my—oh god… I've been stabbed…

"_Do not panic, it is an illusion; walk forward..."_

"Aluc—." My eyes went wide, studying the knife that was sticking out of my body grotesquely. It was... one of my own.

"Officer?" I heard Pip in the radio.

"Alucard… I'm bleeding..." I was in panic, eyes wide, hands in the air at my sides.

"Is Mr. Alucard there...?" Pip asked away from the mic.

"How can this be an—Alucard…"

"_I can see you; you are fine, walk... forward."_

"I can't move I will--."

"Are you ok?" I heard Pip getting louder on the radio.

I fell on my knees not knowing what to do with that knife that was sticking out of me. My eyes were not getting any smaller... but tears wouldn't come down my face.

"… Oh... god..." I almost squeaked, air leaving my lungs.

"_Listen to me... it is a trick. It is not real; Move. Forward!"_

"… No, no I can feel it..."

"Girl, who you talking to!"

"Officer... down..." I almost couldn't say the words into my mic.

"WHAT!"

"_Get. Up! You are alright! If you stay there you will get hurt do you hear me?" _Not even Alucard's angry thought was making me snap out of this.

I slowly let my body fall on the ground and started coughing blood. Or so I thought.

I can't… move… I'm...

I opened my eyes. I felt a pang in my chest.

No.

Hell no. A vampire, why not. A Freak, maybe. But there was no way in hell I was going to go as a fucking ghoul. I raised my upper body with my forearms and looked forward. I could feel them coming, they were close. I could still hear the echoes of Alucard's thought in my head. An illusion. This was an illusion. I didn't care what this was. But I was not going to let that scum touch me.

Some say the mind is the most powerful organ of one's body.

Believe them.

It can screw you up or get you out of dangerous situations.

This time it was screwing me up.

Again I got on my knees and tried to drag myself away from that place. I had to stand up. It's not that I couldn't. I HAD to. Again I spit out some more blood and drawing a shaky breath in, with my trembling legs, I slowly got on my feet. My hand went near the dreaded knife, almost protecting it as I zig-zagged… forward?

Shit… where am I…?

But then I felt everything around me fall to pieces like burned paper; shredding in the wind. I looked up and saw Clay's profile and me in his arms.

This—this is so... confusing I don't—what is happening…

Oh god I'm dying... I am hallucinating…

I started to shake; I didn't want to look at my stomach maybe to find the knife. I kept clutching at Clay's shirt, my knuckles looking quite pale. I was in shock, I couldn't even cry.

Finally I felt the ground under me. I looked up at Clay's blue eyes for comfort.

"… It's ok you're safe... there is no knife..." He said.

I gasped as he touched my stomach.

"No knife, look..." He moved my face to look at my midsection and I gasped again as I saw nothing like blood or knife. I looked back at him. "… it was not real..." He whispered soothingly.

"… Ghn..."

"It's ok, you're safe now..." He rubbed my arms up and down. I was in shock still.

"I will take care of her Brendon; return to your position..." I heard Alucard's voice and jumped. It was not because of surprise or fear. It was almost... hope. Yes, a feeling of safety... comfort.

"It's ok Alucard. I was told to look after her..." Clay answered.

For the first time I see them interact. And it's as natural as me and Seras.

"I will take care of her from here..." He sounded a bit pushy.

"… Uh—."

Clay was cut off by Alucard's form suddenly making him stand up and get back. Don't ask me how the vampire got between Clay and me and carried me away effortlessly.

Clay seemed confused and a bit angered. He stared at us for a while as Alucard took me away. Then he was out of my sight.

I can't remember anything else...

* * *

I have been getting really good at these missions. They are starting to feel fun to me. I do get hurt once in a while but pain doesn't really mean anything to me. As long as I'm alive, pain is just an impulse from the brain. This is something I was taught when I first started training in martial arts. And it became my mantra pretty much in everything from friendly sparring to battles against the undead. 

But, back in my room after tonight's mission, finally conscious, I couldn't help but think... what if next time, I do die. What if I'm turned into a ghoul? It just takes a little bite or scratch from those horrible beings. And I get close. Really close.

I know I will find my end in this job. I am very sure of this.

I sulked on the bed, looking at my hands intertwined on my lap, legs stretched and crossed at the ankles. It must be my PMS talking. I shook my head a little, but felt another presence as I did this so I stopped.

"It took you long enough..." I heard a soft purr beside me.

"What do you mean?"

"Every new recruit goes through this after their first missions... it took you almost two years..."

"Hmm..." I turned to him to find him sitting the same way as me, almost mimicking me, in his complete ensemble minus hat and shades. "I'm genuinely scared Alucard."

Silence.

"I have never felt this void in my chest before." Pause. "... can you see the future?"

He chuckled sarcastically.

"No, I missed that class, my dear..."

Silence. I smiled as I heard those last two words.

"There is nothing I can do anymore if something happens." His tone was serious now.

"I know."

"--not anymore."

"I know that..."

Silence.

I looked at him and tugged at his duster. He sighed; mocking desperation at this almost juvenile action of mine as the rest of his extra clothes disappeared, leaving him in his shirt and pants. It was a little habit I had acquired; he knew I hated the extra clothing.

"I am going to do something but please don't freak out on me." I said softly.

Silence.

I decided to take a chance here. I mean he did disappear for a whole week after I went out with Clay. So I was ready for rejection.

I dragged my body near him, and made him uncross his hands. I sat beside him, my body first leaning on him to not seem too aggressive. My head slowly fell on his shoulder, almost nuzzling against that curve in between the shoulder and neck. I curled into a ball, smiling at what he might be thinking. But to my surprise his arm moved and curled around me in a firm embrace.

Long silence. My heart is beating so fast.

"I like this..." I whispered into his cool skin.

"I will keep it in mind." He said into my hair.

Silence.

"I thought you were not afraid of death... or so you project..." He whispered.

"I wasn't."

"What made that change?"

Silence.

"When I was trapped in that illusion I felt it so close... and I realized something..."

"Hm?"

"The more I live, the more I realize I'm not ready yet... the more I learn, the more I want to learn and like that, I get more and more scared of that peaceful nothingness... and more attached to life."

"You are scared of peace?"

"Yes... I'm not as evolved yet as to like peace. I am still very much attached to stupid things that make peace a bit boring to me... I am no Buddha, vampire. I can't help it... I guess deep inside I don't want to be... in peace... I guess I like that whole 'to be happy you must know sadness' thing... and that is not peace... "

"At least _you_ are aware of this..."

"Hm?"

"At least you accept it, human..." He whispered deeper into my hair, making emphasis I guess. "Your kind, generally speaking, doesn't... and suffer and whine unnecessarily because of this..."

Silence.

"I'm scared... that's all I can say right now..." I whispered, curling even more against him, my arm going around his midsection, holding him tighter. He, I guess, imitated this and squeezed me a little more. "... gunpowder and leather... and that weird thing again..."

"Hm?"

"Your smell..."

"Oh..." Silence. "Is it pleasing to you?"

"It... calms... me." I was surprised it came out of my lips.

Silence.

"Has my smell changed..?" I asked.

"A bit..."

"Virgins smell different, right?"

"Da..."

"How different?"

"You always had a musky scent to you... not quite virgin-like at first..."

"So musky means sex?"

"Most of the time, yes..."

Silence.

"So, is it bad now?"

"Your smell? Oh, no no no..."

His answer intrigued me... why so eager?

"Then?"

He chuckled.

"... A bit more musky... spicy, always with a hint of concern in you... and of course... a little bit of me..." I could hear his grin almost.

"You?... why like you?"

"...Because..."

"Are you trying to mark me or something?" I couldn't believe I was almost smiling about this.

"I was your first man... what do you expect--."

"No you were NOT."

Silence.

"Are you trying to confuse me?"

"I mean yes in that way... but I have done a lot of OTHER things with OTHER people so don't go all _beasty_ on me..."

"'_Beasty_'... why do you insist on disgracing the language?"

"+raspberry+Your first language is NOT English so SUSHH." I said that last word raising my hand and moving it like a mouth.

Silence.

"Was that gesture of your hand supposed to mean something?"

"It's a mouth." I said and again began moving it as I talked.

"Is it?"

"Yeeeesssss... you never played puppets?" I kept moving my hand in front of his face as I spoke.

Silence.

"I don't—you didn't?--what a sucky childhood man..."

"Hm."

"Look, use your imagination... 'Hi, how are you?'" I moved my hand and spoke in a falsetto. "You use your hand as a--."

"You do recall I can... read thoughts and the sort, right milady?"

Well! This just sounded like modern-time sarcasm.

I was being a retard but now I feel just plain stupid.

I hit his stomach playfully. And of course he chuckled. I tried to not smile.

"I. Hate. You."

"I know you do..."

I sank deeper into him. He didn't seem to mind.

"Question."

"Hm?"

"Why... why doesn't sunlight affect you?"

Silence.

"It is too weird... I haven't heard of this before."

Silence.

"There are many things that these walls have seen and heard that you do not want to know about." He answered slowly and softly.

Silence.

"Have you been treated well?"

"I have been treated as what I am."

I clicked my tongue. I hate it. I hate it when she calls him _servant_. He doesn't deserve this, Seras doesn't either. It makes me mad.

But deep inside I know she treats him well… I know she wouldn't do anything to harm him.

I raised my head from him and looked into his half lidded crimson eyes. He looked back, tilting his head, sensing a difference in my stare. I softly stretched my neck up to him and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. My face moved in front of his again, the same look of slight confusion in his eyes.

"Thank you." I almost spelled softly. "... for staying with me and calming my dreams..."

I looked at him for a few more seconds, getting as close as I could without loosing any focus on his face. Again those little things in my stomach… my heart is beating so fast I think I'm going to pass out…

God, this can't be happening to me… it can't. Not with him.

"Ask me." He whispered; his lips almost not moving. I thought for a moment he had said it into my mind, not with his mouth. There was a soft frown on his face.

I continued looking at him, a soft frown now on mine. No, I wasn't confused I knew what he meant… I just… no I can't do it…

Silence.

"…You know I will only answer when I am asked…" I felt his gloved fingers almost pinching my chin. His eyes became softer... his look was killing me. I was not sure what it meant but it was stirring things in me. My skin filled with goose bumps as I felt his bare fingers on my cheek, about to cup my face. I leaned against his hand, closing my eyes involuntarily, again inhaling his scent. I felt his other hand softly placing my hair behind my ear delicately; my eyes opened again a little surprised by this gesture. His thumb softly moved back and forth at the height of my cheekbone, his eyes never leaving mine.

What is the meaning of this? Why is he doing this? He has never looked at me this way, never…

He leaned closer to me, the side of his face rubbing against mine, his lips going to my ear. My eyes closed, my heart was about to burst, the air I was inhaling felt too heavy for my lungs, my face still in between his hands... this is again, so unlike him. My hands went to hold his face too…

I am feeling too emotional for my own good…

"...You were dying in your mind…" His whisper caressed my mind and ear. "... and I felt it; I felt you leaving me… I also wondered, just like you wondered that time in the gardens... what would have happened if--." I felt him stop abruptly. His face moved in front of mine, his forehead touching mine in silence, eyes closed, his demeanor changing in that second.

Why-why did he stop?

Silence.

"I am needed." He said his voice less soft, his eyes opening slowly.

NO... no no no he can't leave now... no... my throat is closing…

I sighed. "Ok." Was my mumbled answer.

I caressed his face, still feeling his forehead against mine and again felt the feathering tickle around my fingers and face as he disappeared. My hands fell on my lap as there was nothing there to hold anymore.

I curled into a ball and tried to sleep. _Tried_.

A reminder.

Even if I accepted his claim on me for whatever reason, I could never claim him as mine.

He will always be hers.

* * *

_Aww… poor Officer… +pat pat+_

_+chom chom+ yummay cookies +chomp chomp+_


	20. a stalker, a pushdagger and a pink slip?

_A special appearance in this chapter, thanking a good friend for everything. Thanks a lot girl! (kisses and reeses... the white chocolate ones yumm)_

_These are the last chapters... just so you guys know...:( I might extend it a bit depending on what comes to my head, but this story is pretty much ending. _

_It's so much fun to write... I don't want it to end... :(_

_

* * *

_

(shower running)

His words… or at least the ones that came out of his mouth before the interruption that night, still haunt me.

Everything seems to be back to 'normal' after his one-week absence, though I can sense him sulking more than usual. Yes, he has those moments too. I have caught him in quiet moments when he looks older, his features reflecting a little more his true age. The last time he did this was not long ago… and it also stirs something in my stomach when I remember…

_I opened my eyes slowly, my body already feeling the urge to train. I blinked a few times to focus my eyes and did, on a well known figure almost slouching on the only chair in my room. I looked at him silently, his legs crossed elegantly but never less masculine, one of his gloved hands under his chin. He was still in his pants and shirt, a bit in disarray, and barefoot. He looked thoughtful. He must have been. He always senses when I wake up. His eyes were fixed on defined rays of light coming in between my blinds. He frowned for a second, almost imperceptibly. Then his face went to his usual stoic state._

"_You ok?" I asked softly. He didn't seem surprised. He slowly turned to me his hand still under his face._

"_Bună ziua." He said softly._

_Silence._

"_Is something wrong?"_

_He just smiled. Yes, smiled._

_Silence._

"_My god, that's a lot of thinking you're doing there…" I said playfully as I stretched. "... what about?"_

_Silence._

"_You."_

And that was that. I didn't ask anything else. I can tell when I should or shouldn't ask him something. He won't answer if he doesn't want to, so why bother. And I'm not sure if I wanted to know. I rested my head back and let the water fall on my face. Something tells me I should start to get used to him not being around. Something tells me he will _disappear_ for good very soon.

"Shit." I jumped and covered my chest instinctively as I felt someone leaning against the wall beside me. "You scared me."

"You are up unusually early..." The vampire said studying my state, but no mischievous look in him.

"Couldn't sleep." I shrugged.

(shower still running)

I have a feeling he is pissed.

"Brendon has been very vigilant of your chambers lately, milady. I have the feeling you are not aware of this."

Silence.

"He what?"

"I guessed right..."

"Vigilant?"

"Always around... I believe he is... spying on you."

Silence.

"Spying..."

"Yes milady... always looking from a distance, screening who enters and exits your chambers."

Silence.

"Damn him..."

Silence.

"How long has this been happening?"

"Started about two nights ago..."

"Has he seen you?"

"No."

"I'm starting to dislike men a lot..."

His grin was so wide it scared me for a moment.

"Males..." I corrected myself.

"Oh..."

"This is ridiculous…!"

Silence. Shower still running.

I put my head under the water again cursing Clay in my mind. When I looked at the wall beside me, Alucard wasn't there anymore.

Again I stepped under the water, getting the shampoo out of my hair with my fingers. I felt two cool hands sliding around my waist and then up to better places, from behind… and an equally chilly naked body behind me.

I rested back against him sighing, his lips moving to my neck, his hands traveling all over me, slowly, very slowly; as if his hands wanted to memorize every little curve of my body. His lips rubbed against my cheek delicately, his hair caught on the falling water.

I could see his eyes open, lost in thought, reflected on the wet tiles in front of me.

I slowly turned around.

"Hm?" I don't need telepathy to tell he wants to say something.

More silence. I could tell his teeth were gritting, his jaw muscles moving slightly.

Silence.

"Tell your little _boyfriend_ that I don't appreciate being disturbed--less when I'm having a meal--to be _warned_, about getting close and the sort, to someone who accept it or not, is _mine_..."

And my muscles don't swell anymore when I hear that from him. Things have changed definitely.

"I do own an amazing amount of patience, but I would be careful if I were him... he does not know who he is dealing with, it seems..."

Silence. Goddamn it!

"I can't fucking believe this!... I told him to butt out..."

"What nonsense was he speaking about?" Now I can see the psychopath glint in his eyes.

"+sigh+ He told me once he doesn't like the attention you give me; he doesn't like the way you look at me or talk to me, or how close you stand from me... he made a big deal out of one night he saw us talking after a mission and insisted that I should go to Hellsing... I said no and I think I said something about speaking to you myself or something... just to shut him up."

"Tell him the truth, it is easier."

"You're nuts." I put my head back, water falling down my hair and back.

"The person who was most convenient to hide this from, already knows... so what is the problem?"

"You know her more than I do... you know she will fire me if the word goes around."

Silence. His head tilted to one side.

"You think this is why she hasn't?"

Silence. I shrugged.

"You would be surprised then by the real reason."

Silence. Nothing else came from him.

"As you wish milady. I would speak to him if I were you... or if you care about his wellbeing..."

"Alucard--."

"I will not tolerate some human kid telling me what I do or not do—especially with you—not only because it is _disrespectful_ to me BUT to you! You are a woman capable of things on your own. If you ever thought I was acting like a caveman, I suggest you review his conduct..." Ok, he is pissed.

"I agree with you."

"Good..."

He kept his composure all the time but I could tell he was furious. I can't say I know him but I can tell his anger went beyond jealousy. I wanted to smile but forced myself not to.

Silence.

"He's not my boyfriend by the way..." I shook his wet hair vigorously with my fingers. Damn he looks hot like this. Dude, I desperately need to buy a camera next leave.

Silence.

"I have been... pretty much avoiding him after that time."

He leaned a bit closer to me, his long arms at my sides, palms against the wall and whispered. "I don't care what he did to you... your skin, your hair, your room, your bed; _everything_ still smells like _me_. Much so, that the animal in him, feels it. This is why he's doing this. It is all working in an unconscious level. I might sound very comprehensive about the situation right now, but next time, I will waste one of my bullets on him and you know I can dispose of a body very _very_ well."

Damn.

"I will talk to him... believe me, I'm about to give you the green light to shoot him."

"I don't need one... just another visit will be enough."

I tried not to smile but I failed miserably. When I did I saw how that above mentioned psychopath glint disappeared and again it was good old Alucard. I thought to myself... how does it feel to be on the other side of a grin, huh?

I heard a very faint growl coming from his throat. I had to bite my lip to control myself. I closed the space between us a bit more, my hands landing on his chest. "Can I ask you something?" My fingers drew imaginary circles on his skin.

"Go ahead."

Silence.

"Will you tell me when you don't want to see me anymore? Or will you just... disappear..."

Silence. He tilted his head, a faint smile returning to his serious face.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because..."

He waited for an answer that was never meant to be uttered.

"Nevermind..." I felt dumb. I shouldn't have fed his ego by asking. My hands fell from his body and turned around.

"Oh… she does miss the corpse…" He cooed and I clicked my tongue as I turned the water off. I looked at him again.

"I thought vampires had some weird thing with running water or something…"

"Oh… right…" He said, pretending to have forgotten. I smiled and shook my head.

When I was dry and in my regular sleeping attire I walked out and found nothing. He was gone, it seemed.

But a faint deep chuckle around me confirmed the contrary. I smiled knowing what this meant. I slowly and carefully, walked toward my boots, where my knifes where at. More chuckles from him.

I wonder how he would feel about kerambits tonight.

Oh, man. My room is too small, not a place for sparring!

"I'm not dumb as to do close-quarters with you in here…" I said getting away from him, as he materialized in front of me.

"Well, what about those pretty daggers of yours?... or is it you _can't_?"

I hate it when he brings that up.

"Aw, so sweet… she won't hurt the vampire…"

My teeth are gritting.

"Yes I would." I tried to sound convincing.

"No you wouldn't."

"Here we go again… give me a reason and I will."

"I have already… and still you won't."

"I can do it."

"Show me."

Silence.

"I don't feel like it." I crossed my arms over my chest.

He chuckled.

"I'm serious I don't feel like it now!"

"Hm… we will have to keep this a secret, then…"

"Huh?"

He walked a bit closer to me.

"Well, it would be a terrible disadvantage for us if our enemy knew that all it takes is a little _fondling_ here and there to not get--."

A grunt escaped his lips. He looked down at the middle of his torso right under his ribcage. The handle of my dagger was decorating his Victorian clothes. Well who knew, one can throw push-daggers accurately,too; a mental note.

"Hmm." I looked at my fingernails in a very nonchalant way. "... that's what you get for disappearing on me, ergo not _fondling_ me, last week I guess."

* * *

"Oh yeah, someone has been working out, hmm..." I whispered, almost mumbled.

"Yeah... I can't remember him having those arms." The police girl also mumbled beside me.

"He's starting to look very yummy... I guess FA makes wonders."

The police girl chuckled.

"Well look at him press... of course he's getting that big." She mumbled again.

"He can _press_ me all he wants if he's--."

"Hey!"

"What!"

"You're already being... _pressed_..."

I almost choked on my water.

"Don't tell me your Master is making you keep and eye on me or something."

"... no."

I glared at her.

"No, really... I just—I don't know, maybe if you two--."

"Girl, c'mon, not again..."

"I don't know how you can do it."

"Do what."

"Be with two people at the same time."

"That's the point I'm not _with_ them."

"It's just so hard to see myself—_oh god..._"

"Hm?" I frowned at her.

"Your 9 o'clock."

I turned to see what had made the Draculina change her tone to a deep, breathy one.

"Now, _that's_ a sweet piece of ass."

We stared silently for I can't tell how long.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" I said smirking.

"Never mind—who _is_ that?"

"He's new, an Aussie... first name: Mac, last name: Buckby, he's our new snipper adquisition... marital status: married." I clicked my tongue. "... I'm not jealous, so..." I shrugged.

She chuckled. I did too.

"Wait—how do you know?"

"I'm good." I grinned. "... curiosity killed the cat? I don't think so... I'm alive and got my info from the files."

"I wonder if Sir Hellsing chose him herself."

"If she did remind me to send her a thank you postcard—oh, he's so lonely, poor thing..."

"Oh no..."

"I'm not doing anything, girl... I'm still here with you, I'm behaving."

"For now..." She almost scolded.

"Nah... if I'm honest with you, I don't wanna go through more craziness... " I bit the cap of my water bottle repeatedly. "... plus, sex with humans is boring."

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"What!... it feels weird!"

"Weird?"

"Yes... don't make me explain why cause I don't want Pip kicking my ass for putting stuff in your head."

She was still looking at me.

"Clay is spying on me, did I tell you?"

"Yeah... Pip told me."

"Idiot... I'm surrounded but crazy men... " I looked at the sun kissed hottie ready to do some crunches. "Maybe things are better in the land down under..."

"You will never learn..."

"Blah! I'm just looking."

"Hey, beach girl!"

I turned to glare murderously at Pip. He had started to call me that because of an unfortunate and rather embarrassing display of skin of mine in his presence, accidental of course, and well... lets just say, I'm not wearing tanks to sparring sessions with him anymore.

He was standing in the middle of the gym, on the space I normally did my training and katas in.

"Yes, _Pepe le pew_?"

"C'mon, lets do some of zat zeeng you do..." He was taking off his jacket and hat.

"What _thing_."

"That zeeng... ze--." And he began to do a very bad imitation of my katas, but it looked more like a drunk primate doing a ballet twirl.

"Sorry, the _dumbass dance_ is a skill I lack."

He gave me the finger. I stuck my tongue out.

"But we can always push-hands." I shrugged, throwing my towel on the floor.

"What the--." I heard the police girl say and I looked at her. Her eyes were a bit wide, the traces of a smile on her face. I followed her eyes to see what was so amusing.

"+sigh+ He's a such kid... and _I'm_ saying that, so that says something." I said as I saw the vampire, walking nonchalantly across the middle of the gym, with a serene expression on his face, trademarked smirk, and my push dagger still buried on his midsection for all the world to see. He had decided to not wear his red overcoat, I guess to show off the knife better. What an idiot.

"That's your knife right?"

"Yes... he dared me to hurt him, I did... but man, I can't get that out of him, hell no... ew..." I shuddered.

She began to crack up silently, her arms encircling her torso.

And as my eyes went back to him I saw some soldiers looking at me. Laughing. Some raised an arm in the air with a smile mouthing something like 'way to go'. I guess she wasn't the only one who recognized my knife. Well, no one uses knives around here. I smiled shyly and took a bow. Heard some scattered clapping and whooping but it stopped as he turned around.

"Someone had to do it..." Jake walked by us, his head down, eyes on the floor. Again I smiled.

We heard some faint whistling coming from the door of the gym and instinctively turned in that direction. A very pretty small-framed girl with huge green eyes and dark hair, came in walking in a pair of sweats and a baby t shirt, oozing self confidence. Hm I have never seen her here. As she continued to walk inside the place and walked by Alucard, I saw her turn 180 degrees and give him a slap on his ass.

"Nice ass vamp." I heard her say faintly, a soft foreign accent in her voice.

All sounds went dead in my head.

My eyes widened like never before.

My eye is twitching.

He stopped gradually and looked back at her over his shoulder.

I'm entering _bitch-slap mode_.

"Who. The. Fuck. Is. That." My muscles are swelling and my voice is dangerously low and almost similar to a growl.

"Uh... the one who just--."

I raised my index finger to shut Seras up. I didn't want to hear it; I have eyes. "Yes."

"She's new too... I'm not sure of her name or rank or what she does... but people call her Cleo-something..."

"No, get me the whole name."

"CleoKat! Yes, that's what I have heard some soldiers call her."

"I will kill her."

"Uh--."

"Is it just me or suddenly everything is taking a red tint to it?..." I said my eyes still wide and looking around the place.

"Uh—are you ok?"

"Never better... get me her name, Seras." I said, walking toward Pip and cracking my neck and knuckles. "C'mon Merc, bring it on!"

"PIP RUN!" I heard Seras before I saw Pip disappear out the door of the gym.

* * *

(knock knock)

"Who is it!" I asked giving my back to the door, cleaning my knives.

"_Cool_ hair, big teeth."

I had to laugh. I wondered why he didn't just faze in.

"Come in..." I said still chuckling.

I heard his boots get closer to me, but I continued doing my chore. Then I felt something _hard_ poking me on my _upper back_ as he stood behind me. I frowned.

"If _that_ means you're happy to see me, I think you messed up a bit on regenerating your body this time."

"Oh... pardon me, milady, I till can't get used to this new addition to my body."

I turned around, still my dagger in him.

"Can you PLEASE take that out! It's gross!"

"It is your knife, milady, I will leave that chore to you."

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"It's GROSS. What part of GROSS don't you get."

"I am starting to get used to it... it's almost like a little souvenir."

"Alucard, get that shit out of you... it's creeping me out."

He looked at me, then at the knife, then back at me.

I whimpered a little and stomped my foot repeatedly. I took a deep breath as my hand slowly went to the handle.

"Ow."

"Shit—sorry!"

He chuckled, a wheezing chuckle. I kicked him.

"See! You're such a dumbass." But I was smiling.

"Try again."

"No." I turned around to continue cleaning my knives.

"I will ask this girl then... what's her name?"

I turned around, grabbed the handle and pulled the thing out of him, throwing it on the floor. I glared at him for a few seconds and turned around again.

Of course he chuckled. But quickly stopped. I felt him nuzzling against my hair and then walking to the only chair in my room, beside me. I felt him sit there, his eyes resting on me for a few seconds. His hand came to my forearm pulling me softly toward him. My hands let go of my knives and cleaning stuff, following his pull. I was being directed to his lap and so I sat there.

"What."

Silence.

"Integra will call you to her office this week. You will receive the message from the police girl, Pip or Walter, depending on who is free at the time."

Silence.

"Why, what did I do now..." I sighed and slumped a bit.

Silence. He's looking too serious for my taste.

"She's in a very dangerous mood now." Silence. "... it seems she is not very happy with the way things went on your last big mission."

"Hey, anyone could have been trapped in an illusion, it was NOT my fault." I was getting altered. "... not this time."

"And I agree, but as I said... she is in a very dangerous mood right now."

Silence. I don't like this.

"What exactly does that mean."

Silence. His temple went to rest on his gloved finger.

"As the years pass it becomes harder to predict her conduct, as she is constantly learning how to block me away from her mind." Silence.

"She's planning on firing me, right?"

"It is a possibility."

Silence. I looked at his shirt.

Long silence.

"I guess she got fed up with me..." I whispered and bit my lip. I looked at him. Just one thing crossed my mind; not that I didn't really have a place to go after the death of my Sifu, or that I was going to be without a job. It was him in my head. Talk about corny.

Silence. I am still not fully digesting this and its implications.

"It is still a possibility... but we are not sure."

Silence. I was frowning unconsciously. My head rested on his shoulder, my body curling into him. Just like that time, his arm curled around me.

"Remember that assuming only brings unnecessary pain and frustration. Get some rest for now and wait for the actual day to come."

"Can you stay with me now?"

I felt him nod. And it was silence from then on.

I don't like the way my stomach feels. I don't like this at all.

* * *

_Muahuahuahuaahau... don't worry girl, she won't kill you... I won't let her :D_

_Thanx a lot you guys! Sorry if the grammar and spelling are not good... I'm really sleepy now... --  
_


	21. a pinky, eavesdropping and sweet guns

_CleoKat: I scolded Officer for throwing stuff at you in your review. She's grounded; no cutting artifacts for a month and tons of gun cleaning MUAHUAHUAHUA...+cough cough+_

_Runemeister: Are you spying on me+grin+ I'll have to say DING DING DING! Check the first part of the chappy and you'll know what I mean :D_

_To everyone else: Thank you so much for the reviews! They make my PMS so much better... er, nevermind. :D_

_And it's the 21st chappy and I forgot something very important._

_**DISCLAIMER**: Officer is MEIN! And so is Clay. And Alucard lives under my bed. O.o_

_

* * *

_

I hope this is it.

(knock knock)

"Hullo girl..."

"Hey Johnson, is Clay around?" I said a bit serious which is weird in me when dealing with soldiers. Other people turned to the door and waved. I waved back.

"Yeah, let me get him... see ya..."

"Mh-hm."

I waited for him to come to the door. He did in a pair of sweatpants and a white beater. I overheard them talking about guns and battles as usual. Some whistled jokingly at him about 'being in trouble' with me.

I didn't know Hellsing recruited clairvoyants.

"Hello, luv... everything ok?"

Maybe Johnson told him I didn't look too happy.

"Uh... not really, can I talk to you at the balcony?"

"Sure..."

He walked behind me, no questions asked. We stopped and I faced him.

"Follow me..."

I lead down the stairs toward the barracks where the Geese slept. We continued walking in silence until we got to the balcony Pip went to when ever he wanted to be alone; one that Clay had invaded, without knowing about Pip frequenting it, to do his peeping. He was more or less getting what I was trying to say with this.

Silence. My voice was dangerously low and angry… but controlled.

"Next time I see you here or around my room, stalking--."

"I am watching over you, that's all--."

"STALKING or the like, I will go to Hellsing, ok?"

Silence. I could tell he was mad.

"I said I was going to talk to Alucard about what you told me and I did. This was completely unnecessary." I almost growled.

"You didn't."

"Yes I did."

"He didn't know what I was talking about. I asked him, I spoke to him."

Silence.

"It's Alucard we're talking about--." I said quickly.

"I've known him for way longer than you… he likes mind games, yes... but he's not a liar..."

"I spoke to him; I don't care what anyone says--."

"You're lying to me."

"+scoffs+ don't believe me then--."

"I think you're hiding things from me..." He said walking toward me. "... and from the Organisation..."

Silence.

"I see where this is going--."

"Has he been to your room with your consent?"

Silence. This is starting to get ridiculous. I guess it's better to not lie about this. He must have heard something that time we gamed in my room.

"Yes, a few times."

Silence.

"This is completely unheard of..."

"What is? What's the matter with you; why not give me shit about Pip? Or Seras? What issue is bothering you; man or vampire?"

"They don't sleep in your BED WITH YOU!"

WHAT?

I was shocked. But I have been in worse situations and know how to not show it.

What the fucking hell has he been doing!

"Excuse me?"

Silence.

"That mission—the one you were trapped in the illusion—he took you away in more than an act of camaraderie and I got worried. I went to your room and knocked to check up on you but you never answered. I was worried, and please forgive me for this, but I let myself in… the shock of seeing him sleeping beside you still makes me angry in so many levels. You must go to Hellsing at once this is very dangerous--."

"You… came into my room unannounced…" Someone please hold me because I'm entering _killing mode_.

"I am very sorry about this but I got worried."

Silence. Ok, I have to get out of this one intelligently. Nothing happened that night; well nothing compromising. So I can fix this.

"I didn't let him sleep there with me... I-I don't know what you are talking about.."

So much for saying something smart.

"I knew this… he stayed on purpose can't you see?"

"Maybe he just fell sleep!—it was an exhausting mission for all of us!"

"Oh please... he doesn't make mistakes..."

"Yes he does!.. he's not that different from you and me you know--."

"Don't ever say that again!" He said in between teeth, taking a dangerous long step toward me. I jumped back.

My god, what a brain wash.

"Oh please..."

"I—I can't believe you think this way—I think he's controlling you--."

"We already went through this Clay and I don't see any respect coming from you."

"—this is just unbelievable."

"Believe it then... and yes I have spoken to him and not about work related things... and that's why I say with all conviction that he is not that different from us and I stand by this very strongly—."

"You will get in serious trouble for this."

"Will you tell on me? Go ahead then!"

"You know its wrong… that's why you were hiding it from me."

"It's not wrong... the rules say it is, but I don't feel it's wrong... if you want to tell Hellsing one of her Officers is pals with her vampires, go ahead... it's not new to her, you will just waste your breath..."

Silence. I shouldn't have said that.

"Do whatever the hell you want with this information. I'm going to train..." I said and was stopped by his hand on my arm. His eyes were burning into mine.

"Is it only off-duty conversations in your room?..."

"I don't have to answer this question--."

"He doesn't have friends; it is just too suspicious..."

"Well maybe I'm his _first_… I do not have to answer to you. If I am having the hottest affair in existence with him it is _my_ problem and mine alone; this was our deal..."

"It is different..."

"Why?"

"He is a daemon..." He should date Integra! They would get along so well!

"And?"

Silence.

"He will get me dirty--what..?"

Silence. I leaned closer to his face, venom spitting out of my lips.

"Then just in case, for your _safety_, don't touch me... goodbye..."

Again his hand pulled me as I tried to leave.

"Hands off Brendon."

"What is it about him, huh—just conversations—i don't buy it."

"I said hands off—."

"--you know you're going to burn in Hell, just like him, for being a vampire's whore--."

My free hand snapped from behind me, a kerambit in my hand. I passed it under our arms without him even noticing and held his pinky between my thumb and blade.

"You know..." I felt him jump as he realized there was a cold blade on his skin. "... I used to love to collect grapes... won some contests actually..."

Sarcasm was coming out of every pore of my body.

"Fingers, grapes, same shit to me—let me go or it comes off..."

A figure in red was caught by the corner of my eye, materializing behind him; still at a distance, far away from Brendon's line of vision.

He finally let me go. I could feel his pinky trembling.

"I'll ask him to give you a little preview of _'what is it about him' _I like, as you nicely put it, if you're so curious..." I started to walk away. "... though I think that on you, he'll use his gun and another orifice."

* * *

I stood in front of the huge oak door… again. 

It seems I do like it here.

I can't believe I'm getting fired.

Anyone could've been caught in an illusion. It's not fair. For the first time it is NOT my fault. But it's not a mystery that she is upset about me being involved with her dear pet vampire, so this is not about the mission only. She can lie to him, but not to me. I saw through her once already. Make that twice if I count the time I saw her at the gardens.

Half my stuff is packed, just in case.

God, my head is going three hundred thousand miles an hour. My thoughts are scattered all over the place.

I took a deep breath in and got ready to knock, but voices inside stopped me; muffled at first, but as I became more and more focused, I could recognize them.

"The mission was completed Master… why make this such a big issue--."

"Since when are you my counselor, vampire?"

"Old Walter is not the only one who has the experience to advise you my Master."

"Alucard your report is done; I will call when I need you."

"—I know my looks may deceive you but I am quite--."

"Out."

"I do believe you should let her command a unit… just for the kicks of it… you might discover, just maybe, she is more useful and capable than you think."

I heard her chuckle sarcastically.

"I should have known those little praises of yours were more than just professional feedback."

Silence.

"What are you implying my Master?"

"This little fascination of yours worries me."

"_Fascination_, Master?"

"Yes… your _feelings_ are becoming a problem, as absurd as it sounds." She mumbled so low I almost didn't get it.

"Integra I'm talking about a soldier; who uses short range weapons without hesitation, comes in contact with them, fights them one-to-one if she has to… ask any of your men how those roaches feel to the touch; they won't answer but she will--."

"And this is why I have to do something about her! We can't expose our people to this kind of reckless behavior! There is a big difference between courage on the field and plain stupidity and this is how I classify her work!"

"And there is a difference between abiding to orders and hiding behind a sniper rifle. I can see these things, remember?"

Silence.

"She would risk her own head for her squad, and has done it a few times already... risking her life as a result of failed orders not even given by her... yes, she is reckless, but about herself, never others..."

"I will not applaud her doings, if this is what you are suggesting."

"You know I'm right… you have tolerated many so-called mistakes and misjudgments from her… it is a bit out of character coming from you, if you ask me--."

"Leave Alucard."

"I'm just saying let her command a unit. Have I ever been wrong before?"

"And next what Alucard; replace our weapons for spears and impale every biped that encounters us? I have too many paperwork and phonecalls to attend to. If you want amusement you already have someone to help you with this."

Silence.

"Are you sure it is _my_ feelings that worry you?"

"I will not repeat myself!"

"You're making a terrible mistake Integra."

"Don't make me commit two today then!"

Silence.

"Get out of my office."

Silence.

"I will never understand you… remember what you told me that time?" His tone was softer now. I have never heard him speak this way. It was so… intimate.

Silence.

"You said you would not give into me because you were above feelings… that you had a legacy, an honor--."

"I have a duty."

"And I respect that. But shouldn't you be a bit more consistent about this honor and duty of yours?"

Silence.

"... but here you are; acting on feelings, thinking about disposing of one of your best people for petty jealousy. +silence+ Again, I cannot understand humans…"

"How dare you… I am discharging a soldier!"

"You are disposing of a woman."

"Your attention is deterring from the problem—as I said before, your feelings worry me."

He chuckled.

"What do you take me for Integra? Human?"

"If I would have seen this coming I would have done something else; not loose a soldier."

"Master, you flatter me--."

"Don't flatter yourself, vampire!" Damn, she's yelling now. "I want your attention on undead issues and the Organisation, _not women_!" She mumbled those last words.

"What would you have done? Ask me to not see her, Master? Ground me in my room?"

Silence.

"Your attention concerns me and the Organisation."

"Of course… it concerns Hellsing no doubt." He chuckled.

"Out." I heard the table being slapped.

"Good evening Master."

Silence.

Damn… what the _hell_ was that…

I can hear my heart beating.

I have to go through what I just heard one more time.

* * *

I ran like a little kid down the hallways of the Hellsing mansion. If this wasn't my Commander's house I would be laughing and screaming in happiness. 

"Walter!" Was the only warning the old man had before my arms went around his neck and hanging from there, gave him a big smooch on the cheek.

"Offic--."

"I love you Walter... did you know that?"

"Uh--."

(smooch smooch)

"Bye!" And I skipped out of the mansion.

--

"PIP!" I ran to the mercenary giving me his back. He was kind of busy talking to someone but what the hell.

"And zat is a--(grunt)"

I jumped on him in piggy-back.

"Pip! Did you know I love you?"

"Zat's lovely girl, but I'm instructing someone here, so—."

"I love you Pip!"

"Ow. Ear. Ow." He moved his finger to cover his ear.

I smooched him on his cheek too and got off him.

I looked at who he was instructing. Ooh, Aussie hottie.

In one movement I wrapped my arms around the tanned cutie, his hazel eyes a bit big.

"I love you too, did you know that?"

Those pretty hazels went to Pip.

"You'll have to excuse her; she's American."

I smooched him too before letting him go. Damn, he's tall too.

"Bye!" I said and almost skipped to the shooting range, looking for Seras.

"Who's that..." Oh that accent!

"You don't want to go zere... if you like your life."

I frowned. What the...?

--

I turned around feeling the vampire's presence as I put my stuff back in my closet. I smiled, threw everything on the floor, ran to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Hi!"

"A wild guess, you love me too?"

"Yes!" I kissed his lips playfully.

"She didn't fire you I gather by this."

"Nope!"

"Oh... I hope I get a refund for that flat I bought you in Belgravia, then."

I stuck my tongue to him.

"Guess." Why is my voice so squeaky?

"Are you sure you want to play that game with me--."

"But wait let me block you first—don't look!"

"I'll try."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, held it in for a little and then opened them again.

"Go."

"She gave you your own squad."

"Shit!"

I have only blocked him once. ONCE!

He chuckled.

"Can you believe that? My own squad! It's tiny; three more people but hey..."

"Congratulations... Officer?"

"Yep... still an Officer, though."

"I wonder what Bernadette will say about this."

"Hm." I shrugged. I let an arm loose and pointed to the side." Bed."

"I'm happy when you are happy." He said dramatically and walked with me still leeched to him, to the bed.

I kissed him hungrily as we landed on it, me straddling him, this time not letting him take one ounce of control. Hell no, I was feeling on top of the world now.

I gasped as my hand went inside his layers of clothing and found the cold metal of one of his guns. I slowly broke the kiss and tried to put my hand around the thing.

"I like your guns." I mumbled against his lips.

"I like them too..." He mocked my awe. I smiled against his lips. I sat up and tried to pull it out of the holster.

"Damn, man... this is one heavy gun ... and you have two."

His hand joined mine and smoothly got it out. It was the black one. That was my favorite of the two.

"Whoa, long gun too..." I said backing away a bit, again sitting straight on him. "It looks heavy."

He held it from the barrel and offered it to me. I sighed and held the thing.

This is exciting!

The only way that I could hold it up and actually aim at stuff was if I had some kind of support besides my hand. When I say it's heavy it IS heavy. The barrel always tilted forward even if I held it with both hands. I finally did aim at something, after a lot of fidgeting and cursing. He was looking at me, brows arched. I knew he was having the time of his _unlife_, laughing at me internally.

I aimed at his head and did a gunshot sound with my mouth. Again his eyes went wide, mocking me.

"Could this gun kill you?" I asked, still aiming at him.

"I can't give milady such power by answering this question."

"So, yes?"

"--I don't need another woman threatening to shoot me, thank you."

I chuckled. I felt his arms move; I tried to aim at the middle of his forehead, when I felt something on my head, giving an ample shadow over both of us.

"Ah... perfect..." He said with a wide grin. His hat.

"I can't see." The thing hit the bridge of my nose.

I put the gun on my lap and tried to make the red fedora stand in a way I could see. Almost impossible. I still had to put my head back to see him.

Silence.

"It was because of you." My tone changed to a deeper, serious one.

"Hm?"

"Integra... I heard the conversation."

Silence.

"I don't care; I'm still here... but... I just wanted you to know... I heard it..."

There was a very long silence. I knew he was going through every single thing that was happening in my mind at the moment. I didn't mind. I wanted him to know what I thought and what I knew. I didn't need telepathy to put some things together and figure out some others about them.

I felt his hand stretch my leg, my foot falling beside his face. His fang scratched the skin of my calf, superficially but deep enough to make blood leak out. His long tongue went to it and carefully licked the red liquid. He had my permission to do it, he didn't have to ask. Hmm... can anyone blame me...

"You have no idea how unnecessary this mental stress you go through, is." He said looking into my eyes when he was done with my leg, the lamp giving his crimson eyes a crystalline look to them. "_That_ question you won't ask, holds so many answers... even to questions you haven't asked to yourself..." Silence. "... but pride is a funny thing..."

"It's not... pride."

Silence.

"Potatoes..." He said playfully.

Silence.

"I have no right anyways... to ask or demand anything--."

"Why."

"It was our deal."

"_Your_ deal." he corrected.

Silence.

"I don't mind anyways." I whispered.

"You are lying--."

"I don't care and never have... even after that time I saw you kissing her."

"You. Are. Lying." He whispered, caressing the side of my face with the barrel of his gun.

Silence. I made room for it, goose bumps spreading through my body from the spot the gun was touching. It was a bit cold.

He continued to do this, his eyes on me still.

"You know I can blow your head off with one shot out of this gun?" He whispered.

"Yes..."

"But you don't even jump at the touch."

Silence. The gun started to travel down my neck.

"And you don't care..." Silence. "...right?"

Silence. I felt the buttons of my uniform start to open, one by one, making room for the gun to continue touching my skin.

He half smiled as his eyes rested on the white beater I wear under my shirt, two protuberances under it telling him to continue with his ministrations.

"I can't believe this is turning me on." I said as I closed my eyes, the gun was now circling one of those protuberances.

"If you had this view, you would be very sure of it."

I opened my eyes as his gun came back to the side of my face, close to my lips, but careful to not throw the hat off me. I parted my lips and made my tongue run down a good part of the length of the barrel, still looking at him.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

A sensuous smile was his answer.

"Take the magazine out."

He shook his head softly as the barrel continued his way down, now pass the above mentioned protuberances.

"Fine, be that way..." I closed my eyes with a shaky breath.

* * *

_Wheeeee! His guns are sweet, what can I say, I understand her... RnR PLS!_

_Thanx so much for the reviews! They put a smile on my face (awww)_


	22. Oh the hangover i need soup

_Very mucho danke for those reviews...yes, the story is ending and I don't see where I can expand it more (it was originally 13 chappys). There will be an Afterword that is not even planned yet, so I don't think it will come out as soon as the other chappys. _

_2 more chappys to go...+sniffle+_

_

* * *

_

I saw him feed last night.

In last night's mission, we ambushed a warehouse in the outsides of London where Freaks were 'manufactured'; people went there by appointment to get _turned_. How lovely. So we not only had some Freaks to silence, but humans too. Yes, believe it or not. Hellsing's orders were to search and destroy, period, and that humans who sided with Freaks would be treated the same. I gulped as I thought of Alucard.

This time we went in with him. It was... there are no words to describe how it is to be in battle with such a powerful being. The place was packed with Freaks and humans. It was hard to tell them apart. But we kicked their asses the same. And Alucard, well... let's say he doesn't need to feed in quite a while. It was crazy to see him kill people with his bare hands and bite them shamelessly; snapping their necks as they put resistance, or other times just keeping them alive until the end. The screams of horror and panic were sending chills down my spine. He knew I was watching, and sometimes looked at me as he killed them. It was a reminder. He is a monster, no matter how I try to see him. And destruction is his high; it's who he is.

Scared? It was something between awe and fear what I felt. It had a weird effect on me. It reminded me of that night we slept together for the first time. How delicate his touch had been on me. It contradicted everything I was seeing. Yes, we were everything but _normal_ in that department, but he was never violent.

Only that time he threw me to a wall and he learned his lesson.

I let him kill them. I went after the Freaks and let him have the humans; I gave some orders around to make the others do the same. He was ecstatic. As I saw him leave, his face was a bit flushed. He had a big banquet, he he.

_'he he'_

God... I have to start hanging out more with humans...

Ok, enough spacing out!

"Pip focusssss!" I said for the... ten thousandth time I think.

"I'm trying! I still don't get zees..."

"It's called push-hands... try and push me!"

"Zat I've been trying--" I extended my hand and brought him up "... ok let's do zees..."

"You can also pull; as long as you bring me off my balance it's valid..."

"Everyzeeng goes?"

"Yep..."

"Okeeeee."

"Ok mercenary, bring it on!"

Silence.

And, I brought him down again.

"I am starting to like ze floor, luv..."

"It's ok it happens at first..." Again I helped him up. "... I will teach you some stuff when we're done--little tricks..."

"Teach me now..."

"No, I wanna win a bit more." I grinned.

"Riiight."

Silence and trying to push him and vice versa.

"So... how's your stalker doing?" He asked biting his cigarette.

"We are not... seeing each other anymore..." I said a bit short of breath.

"Good for you... was it because of zat or--."

"Everything that has a beginning has an end, my friend."

I brought him down.

"Merde... this one hurt--."

"You ok?"

"Oui... women here are destined to kick my arse, I see..." Again he got in position. "I can get you a date with--."

"Nooo, thanks... have my hands full now."

"Ooohhhh... is it what I zink?..."

"You think? Well, well... good for you." I patted his shoulder.

"Talk it out... I might win for a change..."

"Shit." I gave little steps backwards, loosing my balance.

"Is it ze other guy?... you chose ze other guy over Brendon?"

"What do you mean..."

"Ze other guy... ze one you never told me about zat time in your room..."

He offered his cigarette and after taking a deep puff I gave it back to him.

"Nah..."

"Oh, whatever happened to zat problem you were having, oui?"

"What problem?" He's getting the hang of it, or I'm getting distracted.

"Ze '_no shagging'_ thing."

"Nah, that was solved thank god--gotcha!"

"Shit-fuck..."

I brought him up again. I took the cigarette from his lips and put it in mine.

"I was going to offer my services, girl."

"Do you want to wear a patch on one of your balls too?"

He put his hands in the air in defeat.

"Get rooted, man... to the floor."

"_Rooted_? I feel _rooted_ to ze floor weez all this falling and what not..."

"Never mind, I'll teach you later..."

"Ok."

Again we got in position.

"I should have paid attention to you, merc."

"What about?"

"When you said Clay was not what he seemed."

"Told you, girl... "

"He almost got his fucking pinky cut off... he tried to get violent with me."

"What ze--! He hit you or somezeeng!"

"Noooo don't—don't... I already took care of it."

"He he!... someone will get a whole lotta shit to do from me, starting tomorrow..."

I chuckled.

"He doesn't like you very much… or the Geese..."

"He makes a lot of shitty comments about us..." He lost his balance but didn't hit the floor this time. "... always rubbing his Hellsing pride on everyone's face... he can wrap it in sandpaper and stick it up his arse for all I care... " He lit another cigarette.

"Yeah..."

"I'll believe in anyzeeng you want as long as there's good money zere..."

"I hear you brother..."

"+chuckles+ Arsehole... you would be the last girl I wanna mess with..." He said a bit out of breath too.

"Mh?"

"What, don't you know?... Mr. Alucard is what's keeping a lot of blokes here from grabbing your arse in the middle of training..."

I clicked my tongue. Damn, don't tell me the thing is going around...

"... or the police girl's..."

"Well, I hope they try it so I can cut some pinkies off for real this time..."

"… To everyone here, you are his other daughter or whatever you call it..."

Phew.

No, I'm not getting weird thoughts here; I'm not getting X-rated mental flashes to make that comment inappropriate. Actually, a smile is stretching across my face. Yes, this reaction also shocked _me_.

"And he knows it... cause he's always around... about a year ago we barely saw him outside."

I didn't really see anything different in his behavior. Well, Pip has been here forever, he must know.

"He he, and here we thought once the bloodsucker was gay... he's fucking smart, the bloke... been pissing all around the place marking _territory.._. his 'Hellsing c_rackin' birds'_..."

I lost my balance backwards and began to laugh.

"Hey, the boss is not bad at all. I bet you give the vixen a few drinks and a little '_thwap_' and that'll kill that bug she has up her arse..." Yes, he spanked the air at the word '_thwap_'. I had to hold my stomach as I laughed.

"You are such a man..."

"And you haven't seen nothing, luv."

"Uh... no thanks, I'm cool..."

Silence.

"He doesn't know I saw your knockers that time, does he?"

I brought him down _really_ hard.

"Ffff—damn!"

"He should, so can you stop bringing it up!"

He laughed. God, at times I could swear they hang out together.

"So do I know him?"

"Who?" I asked confused.

"Ze other bloke..."

"What the—you're asking a lot of question today, huh?"

"You start loosing when I ask you, he he."

"Shut up..."

"And get all pissy when talking about Brendon..." Silence. "... forget about him... it's not worze it..."

If he only knew who I'm thinking about really.

"If I wasn't weez ze police girl, I would make you forget him +snap+ like zat... one night, all it takes..."

(raspberry)

"I have seen the world, luv... I know women—all tastes, colors and shapes." I took the cig away from his lips.

"Riiiight..."

"Don't believe me zen..."

"Keep it up and I'll put this out on your good eye..." I showed him his cigarette on my hand.

"I'd like to see you try."

"Start running..."

Yeah, this is also part of our training. Stamina.

* * *

(knock knock)

I saw the door of the police girl's room slowly open after I knocked.

"Seras…" The word almost didn't come out of my lips.

"Oh my god—are you crying?" Her eyes were huge.

I just had to hear the word '_crying'_ to begin sobbing again. As I walked toward her, her arms opened to comfort me in a bear hug.

"What is it!" I continued sobbing and sobbing against her shoulder. "Please tell me!"

"I … hate… your… Master—I… hate… him."

"What did he do!"

I guess she was surprised to see me cry after everything I have told her he has done before. She sounded a bit scared. I felt her sniff me.

"… you smell like beer…"

She pulled me to her coffin bed and made me sit there. I wouldn't stop crying.

"I can't believe he did this to me, Seras..."

"Oh no... did he hurt you this time!" She studied my limbs, looking for any sign of physical violence.

"No...!"

"Then tell me—oh! That girl! Did he--."

"No..."

Silence.

"OK! What is it!"

"--that bastard--."

"TELL ME!"

I sniffled.

"Seras…" I could barely talk. "I'm in love with your Master…"

Silence from her and my uncontrollable sobbing.

"That's it! You scared me!"

"What do you mean? This is scary Seras!"

She began to chuckle.

"I hate him! It's his fault!—stop laughing!"

"You are drunk, aren't you…"

"… no…"

"How many?"

"... 8..."

"Oh no… you can't be hung-over tomorrow."

"God, I can't believe this!... when the hell did this happen! Stupid animated corpse I hate him!" I hissed and sniffled.

"I think it's great!" She said kneeling in front of me.

"No! It's not great! He—he doesn't care about me, no!"

"What do you mean…?"

"He has fun with me Seras! HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME!"

"He has been waking up in your room, _IN A BED,_ FOR MORE THAN 9 MONTHS!"

"SO?"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?" She yelled.

"I dunno…" I mumbled.

Silence.

"Go to sleep, please…"

"I can't-- you know what I was thinking when I was about to get fired? HIM! How corny! I'm not corny Seras! I am a fucking bitch!... I think…"

"You're not a bitch…"

"I've been told…" I sniffled. "… this is so stupid…"

"It's not stupid, stop saying that—."

"I hate him… I need more beer…" I stood up and walked to the door.

"No! Go to sleep!"

I opened the door and reached for the bottle I had left outside near the door.

Oop, almost fell.

She sighed loudly.

"…Crap, STOP MOVING!" I looked at everything around me.

"Please go to sleep… you still have to train your people—."

"Screw 'em… though if they bring beer to training, I'll do the Macarena for crying out loud..."

She pulled me with incredible strength and put me over her shoulder in one smooth movement. I didn't realize that I was upside down right away because everything was moving anyways.

"Hey! I'm flying! HAHAHAHA!"

"Sh! Please be quiet, at least until we are out of here…" She whispered.

I think we are moving too.

"Put me down, police giiiiirl!" I sing-songed and giggled some more.

"Shhhh!"

"Wheeeeeeeeee!"

"+sigh+… I think you'll be quieter if I put you down…"

She did and again everything turned around. I landed on my feet but she had to hold me by my shoulders for me not to fall on my butt.

"Man, everything is moving, STOP IT!"

"I need you to be quiet now…" She said softly, covering my mouth.

A deep chuckle rumbled around us. I turned and saw Alucard standing a few feet away from us. She mumbled something under her breath.

"Master—."

"Hiiiii…" I said, my body swaying, eyelids heavy and a big smile on my face.

"Hello…" He smirked. Since when he's a _hello_ person?

"Master, I am taking her to her room."

I walked toward him, zig-zagging and giggling, biting my nails nervously.

"Uh—where are you—." She lost the grip on my arm as I walked away from her.

"Sh! Seras it's ok, I'm fine."

Yes, fine, right.

I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his head. He knew what I wanted to do, but I was too drunk to do it myself so he helped by wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Uh..." She sounded uncomfortable. "… Master she has to go to sleep—."

"Alucarrrrd?"

"Yeees?"

"I love you."

"Oh no—." She whispered.

"Wait Seras! Shhhhushhh for a minute..." I put my finger on my lips, turning to her.

"Yes, shush police girl." He was grinning like a madman. "... you were saying?"

"No, Master please she's—."

"I'm fiiiiiinneeee…" My face turned into a frown. "… and I hate you for that!"

"For what, milady…"

"It's your fault I'm in love with you!"

"Is it?"

"Please Master, let her go…"

"Seras!" I said loudly and she jumped back. She was standing beside both of us, pulling at my shirt.

"Alucard…"

"I'm still here…" He said with a serious face. Apparently.

"You bastard… you made me—Seras stop pulling me…"

"Please lets take you to your room…" She almost whined.

"Alucard…

"Hm?" His lips were in a tight smile now, trying not to explode in laughter.

I looked at him for a few seconds, blinking very slowly.

"I want to have your vampire babies…"

"Ok, I'm taking you to your room _now_—." Seras grunted.

"Police girl, you are no fun…" He said with an almost straight face.

"… Master, don't encourage her!"

"Seras, is it ok with you if I have his babies?" I rested my head back and looked at an upside down Draculina.

"Oh please stop saying those things… let's go to your room—please…"

"You still can't have babies right?" I asked him, disappointment in my slurred words.

"… Last time I checked…" He sounded thoughtful, but playful.

"Oh… sucks..."

"I very well remember a dagger buzzing near my head one time you thought I could _make_ those vampire babies…"

"Oh, Master…"

"Not your heeeeeaaaaddddd…. the waaaaall…" I giggled.

"No... I am almost positive; your target was my head..." I felt him bringing me higher. I was slipping down his body; my legs were not holding me up very much. His hands intertwined under my butt to keep me on him.

"Lets go! NOW!" I felt her pulling my arm.

"Oh… too bad then…" I said with a click of my tongue.

"It is the thought that counts, milady."

"Yeah... +silence+ They would've had the coolest hair..."

Seras sighed loudly.

"And-and... does it hurt you to get married?" I am so drunk.

His body shook with silent chuckles.

"WHAT!" I jumped at her yell.

"SHH!" I said in her direction and then went back to him. "... we're having a conversation here, Seras—yeah, like... the church and the blessings and the ring—does that hurt you?"

"I can't believe you are saying all this..." She sounded pissed. "Master!..."

"Police girl!" He mocked her.

"Stop answering her! She's been drinking!"

"Just a little Seras, don't be such a baby--+hiccup+..." I giggled. He arched his eyebrows.

"8 beers is not a _little_!"

"I think she's even more fun when she's drunk." He turned to me. "... don't you agree?"

"Yeah!" I giggled and climbed higher on him, my nose touching his. I tilted my head a bit, and bit his lower lip playfully.

"Ahh!" I heard the police girl yelp.

I opened my eyes as I kissed him aggressively and caught the moment Alucard put his hand on the police girl's head and pulled her behind him. He's hiding her? Or not letting her see us kissing? More giggles from me.

"Master! What the—let me--."

"Hmmmm." I moaned into his mouth.

"Uh, hullo? I am here! Girl, lets go, you need some sleep... and a cold shower..."

"I really liked what you did with your gun that time..." I chuckled wickedly.

"AH! I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING! Blah, blah, blaaaahh—let's GO!" Yeah she was yelling.

I felt a pull so strong I flew off Alucard's body.

"Damn! C'mon girl! It's not like you aren't having fun too with your merc--."

"LETS GO, BYE MASTER!"

Again everything turned around... I guess I was on her shoulder again.

"Wheeee! I'm flyi—bye Alucard!" I blew a kiss in his direction.

--

I felt the police girl tuck me in. I guess I had passed out on the trip here. Wow, I didn't know I could sleep upside down.

"Now, get some rest, ok?"

"Mh-hm..." I nodded like a little girl.

I saw her walk away, about to get the door.

Silence.

"I can't compete with her..." My voice was breathy and surprisingly sad.

I sniffled. I felt much calmer now.

She stopped and turned around.

"What do you mean?"

Silence. I chuckled sarcastically.

"It is her he loves... don't you see it?"

Silence.

"I can't believe people here are so blind..." A little sad smile came to my face.

She continued to look at me, curious about why I was saying those things.

"Everyone calls your Master a beast around here... and he is... beasts also need to be petted once in a while and I conveniently was around the place--."

"Don't say that."

"It is so obvious Seras... and it wouldn't be a problem... but I'm starting to care..."

Silence.

"You see how she is... they both feel something for each other, I heard it in a conversation they had... but she's more unapproachable than him... you think that _'Ice Queen_' nickname came out of thin air?"

"He cares for you too... " She was kneeling beside my bed.

"He said he only acts in his self-interest..."

"And what if his interest is simply you..."

Silence. She spoke softly, closer to me.

"He doesn't care about soldiers... yes it sounds mean, but--I saw him take you away from that craziness when you were caught in the illusion, remember? He wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. I think he got in trouble for that..."

Silence.

"And he stayed with you and—remember what he said! What you told me!... he doesn't do things like this I am telling you...+silence+ he reacted to your death—not a real one but he did! How can you think he doesn't care?"

Silence.

"Stop jumping from one extreme of denial to the other... remember all those little things... those are the ones that really count... maybe he doesn't do it all the time, but I doubt very much you are just a good time..."

Silence. Sniffle. Yeah, she does have her insightful moments.

I started to chuckle.

"God, I can't believe I told him I wanted his babies..." My hand went to my face.

"His _vampire_ babies..."

"Oh. God. No."

She chuckled. I had to laugh too. Her chuckle escalated to a laugh with mine. What was the use of getting mad or embarrassed?

"Oh, no... I proposed to him?" More laughs from her. "... shit... where the HELL did all that come from?"

"It's the beer's fault."

"Damn Germans..."

She chuckled. Again my face went serious.

"Should I back off now?"

Silence.

"Before it is too late?" Her tone was a bit sarcastic.

Silence. Too late... ha.

"I better go to bed."

"Ok." She came to me and gave me a hug. "...look for me if you want to talk."

"Thanks..." I said with a smile as our bodies separated.

I know I won't get any sleep... but I'll pretend.

I can almost hear his answer to that question that has been driving me crazy for all this time. And is not the one I want to hear.

* * *

Thanx again+chom chomp+ mighty cookies :D 


	23. More soup, Chloe the CAWS and the doggy

_BLAHHH I wrote this last minute... god, this is never going to end! I keep expanding it!_

_Thanx to Britomartis and Dan... CAWS kick some serious ass!_

_**DISCLAIMER**: no I don't own the CAWS either... if I did... I dunno, don't ask MUAHUHAUA…_

_I am so serious, next chappy and it's DONE!_

* * *

I slumped on the chair with a very guttural grunt. 

"Oh, zat's very attractive…" Pip said sarcastically.

I mumbled something intelligibly.

"You ok?" Jake asked.

"Don—don't yell please I'm right here…" I said with a wave of my hand and my eyes closed. The headache.

"I'm… not yelling…" he answered with a frown.

"Shhhh…" my head fell on the table. ".. ow."

"Someone got plastered yesterday, eh?"

"Jake… why… are… you yelling…" I almost moaned.

"Call me next time, girl… I was feeling like getting aled-up last night too…"

"Why—why … yell…?" I continued to mumble.

"You'll get arsholed with her in no time weez zees game she starts…" Pip said, ignoring me.

"What game?" Jake also ignored my hand waving in the air gesturing for them to shut up.

"Oh a drinking game she taught me... it goes like zees; everyone takes a beer and stand in line one beside ze other in front of a table, oui?…"

"Shhh… please… whisperrrrrr…"

"—ze beers go on ze table and each person gets a spoon weez salt on it—not too much..."

"Salt?" Jake asked.

"—oui, and zen, to ze count of 3, everyone throws ze salt in ze bottle so ze foam starts coming up, up, up—."

"Don't say foam or beer please… please…"

"—so you have to drink ze foam weez your hands on your back; you can't let ze foam hit ze table... if you do, you '_get it'_…"

"_Get…_ what?" Jake was a bit confused I bet.

Silence.

"Get what, girl?" Pip turned to me.

"Uh…." I put my head up slowly.

More silence. I looked at Pip, then at Jake.

"Dude, if you need to get punished to not spill the beer, you don't deserve to play my game…" I blurted out with half lidded eyes.

"She has a point…" Pip said with a serious face and a nod.

"Stop talking about beer, guys…"

"When can we play the game, girl?" Jake asked with a big smile.

"Never… I'm not drinking… ever again…" I said with a murderous glare.

"Yeah, right—so Sunday?"

"Where is Seras?" I asked Pip, my eyes still heavy.

"With Hellsing…"

"Hmm… I need to talk to her…" my voice sounds all throaty.

"You need black coffee, luv…"

"No, no… soup, I need soup… oh god, I want soup…" I closed my eyes almost feeling the taste on my tongue.

"Anyroad, thanks for the drinking tip, _dudette_…" Jake stood up to leave.

"Here you go…" Pip offered his tray to Jake so he could take it away. Lazy ass.

Jake glared.

"What… want to patrol Sunday, oui?"

Jake sighed and received the tray. What a bully this merc is.

"Good chap…"

I scoffed. I raised my head from my arms.

"I'm gonna go to my room for a bit…"

"To do what, girl…"

"I'm dying Pip… I need rest… and soup."

"You know who you talking to, beach girl?"

I looked at him. Damn. Sometimes I forget he's my Captain.

"Pip… I can't focus…"

"C'mon, I'll make you sweat it all out!"

"No… no please—ah!"

A big pull made me almost fly in the air and off the chair.

"What's with people and pulling, god!" I shook my arm away from his hand. "Ok, ok I can walk on my own!"

"You won't get out of zees one…"

"I want something if I win..." I stopped and crossed my arms.

"Name your price..."

I looked at him for a few seconds. Then looked around. "I want the Aussie... I need a sniper—my squad... needs a sniper..." I grinned devilishly.

"Deal."

"Hey…" we both turned to our left side as we heard the greeting.

A grunt escaped our lips as we saw where it came from.

Brendon.

"Hm…" yes that was my answer.

I saw Clay's blue eyes move to Pip. But Pip wouldn't move.

"I'll see you at the gym, Pi—Capt—Sir…" Damn, I'm not too sharp today.

"Awright…" no, he didn't sound too happy.

Ooh, ugly glaring.

"Can we talk?" Clay asked softly once the merc was gone.

"What about?"

"Um… what happened that time…"

"Nothing happened… just, cause and effect… you got violent with me, _cause_, and I felt like cutting off your finger, _effect_…"

"You were overreacting, I never hurt you--."

"Do I look stupid to you? I don't wait till I get hurt to react."

"I was not going to hurt you."

"I still see your finger attached to your hand… overreacting would have been if I was wearing it as a pendant…"

He stared at me as if he couldn't believe what I had just said.

"I think you don't wanna talk to me now or ever after that…"I said smiling.

"Do you see what he's doing to you?" he whispered.

"He is doing something to me? Hmm… is it good cause I don't feel anything—"

"You were never this vicious before."

"Oh, I can be vicious… and I can be sweet… can be crazy or very very sane and grounded… it's just _me_. Maybe if you weren't so busy thinking about how to control me all this time, you would've known that this is how I am… now get out of my face."

Before he would say something else I left. I didn't want to listen to him. He is dead to me. And I'm not talking Alucard-dead here.

I walked to the gym but before going inside I saw Seras walk by.

"Seras!"

"Hey!"

"Quick question…"

"Hm?…" she walked toward me.

"Girl, did you tell Pip about… you know…"

She just looked back at me. I pointed at my canine.

"Oh! No, no, why?"

"I have a feeling he knows… or the thing is going around…"

"Why?"

"A weird conversation we had while sparring yesterday… he would go from talking about your Master to talking about—that time in my room when I told him that I was seeing someone besides Brendon… I dunno maybe I'm being paranoid…"

"So you think he was making a connection?"

"Yeah… not like I don't trust him, but…"

"If he knows, he won't say anything… he likes you, he won't get you in trouble…"

"Just checking; did you tell him?"

"No, I swear!"

"Ok… just checking… +sigh+ I'm getting scared… I think Brendon is planning something…"

"You think?"

"My intuition fails me very little… I felt something weird from him just now when I saw him."

"What did he want?"  
"I dunno… but I don't like his aura… not one bit."

"Be careful…"

"I will… if you find out anything, people talking, whatever, let me know please…"

"Sure I will…"

"Ok, I'm off to hide from your merc…"

"Why?"

"I can't spar now… and he wants to… you never saw me."

"Ok." She chuckled as I walked away to my room.

* * *

Oh, I am glaring. 

Dead Silence.

"Why." I almost hissed at the vampire.

"Hm?"

"Why are you giving me this?"

"Why not?"

Silence. My eye is twitching.

"I thought you were more open-minded and free-spirited." he said innocently.

"This is not about open mindedness—if you are insecure and feel you're not enough, this is not a solution…"

"What is wrong with a little variety?"

"_Variety_? We talked about this once vampire and you know I'm not into these kind of things—my preferences are very defined..."

His hands went to my waist and hastily turned me around, my back hitting his front.

"What-what are you doing?"

"You haven't even tried it…"

"What the—get—what's wrong with you! Not here!" I whispered.

"Why not?"

"Uh… people!" I whispered again.

"When have you ever cared before?"

"I am feeling pressured Alucard and I'm not liking this…"

"Let's… just… try it…"

"_Let's_… what the hell do you mean _let's_? No, no, no you want to _watch_… that's different…"

"That would be nice too…" He grinned wickedly again.

"I said NO. I can't believe you brought me here for this…"

"Is it the color?"

Death glare and silence.

"I will ignore this last comment."

Silence.

"You do need this…" he said in a serious deep voice.

"Excuse me?"

"You know you do."

"I don't need it, vampire—I thought you had a little more pride—why would I need one if you are around…"

"At times you can get a bit too… _frisky_ on the… job…" He whispered.

Silence. I am about to kill him.

"_Frisky_?"

"Yes… maybe you could control yourself a little more if you burned some extra energy on your own…"

"Control my—oh no, control myself, vampire? Do I have to remind you what happened in the stairs two days ago?" I whispered in between teeth, almost on my toes to level with his face. "... you didn't even let me get to my room to—."

"Maybe we could both get a good use out of it, hm?"

Him? Well, that's something I would like to see.

Again he turned me around.

"Hands off!" I hit his hands.

I felt his arms almost around me, the deviant thing on his hand. He was not going to let me turn around this time.

"What the--."

"Just hold it--" he whispered.

"--Damn you… if people see this I will behead you..."

I had to I had no choice. I felt him looking around as he put it in my hand.

"It's—it's…" I was also looking around. "… it's too big for me, I can't believe you of all people couldn't tell…"

"It's fine—"

"Something tells me you were thinking about you and not my—damn, this thing is huge! I can't even hold yours properly—god, it's gonna hurt my-- ."

He slid my feet apart with his foot and I gasped.

"Hey!"

"Trust me it is better like this."

"God, you are insane, hurry up, then…"

"It will be overwhelming at first, but you'll get used to it…"

"No, I changed my mind, I don't want—."

His hand came around mine and squeezed.

(gunshot)

Silence.

Damn.

My jaw is a bit dropped. That's a big hole right there.

"Wow…" I whispered.

"Hm?"

"I—uh, wow…"

"See… I knew you'd like it…"

"I—uh."

"It is not a gun technically, so don't feel guilty…"

Silence.

"That felt quite nice…"

"Enjoy…" he let me go and walked away from the booth.

(gunshot gunshot gunshot)

"Oh, I love this thing—whatever it's called…"

"_C.A.W.S, milady, C.A.W.S." he said into my mind._

I smiled and took another shot.

"_I'll call it something else… I don't like that name… oh by the way, I need you to fix that hole in the stairs your pretty little gun left behind… next time let me get some RAID…"_

(gunshot)

Amazing! My shoulder doesn't even feel the recoil! And damn, what a hole!

"… hello Chloe…" I whispered looking at the weapon. I felt his chuckle tickle my mind.

Aw... a gift. What a sweetheart.

* * *

I have been reading about my new weapon all day. Wow, it seems like it's not a common one. I wonder where he got it from... it was discontinued or something. 

(knock knock)

Shit I hope it's not Pip wanting to spar... I'm so entertained with Chloe here...

"Hm..."

Yes, you can tell by my reaction who it is.

"Hullo..."

"Brendon..?"

Silence.

"Please let's talk..."

"Leave me alone, there's nothing to talk about..."

"This was a terrible misunderstanding..."

"Ok, lets see... uh, you questioned and implied stuff about my private life, which is not your goddamn business; you accused me of treason; you were physically violent to me _and_ called me a whore. I think I am entitled to fucking hate your guts..."

"I'm sorry, I lost my temper..."

"Oh yeah and I will forget about it and wait till you slap me around when ever you get moody again. No, Clay; don't insult my intelligence. If someone is a threat to this organization right now, is you. With those little tantrums and a gun who knows what you can do..."

"I deserve every name you want to call me... I know what I did, but—."

"No buts, just yours out of this building..."

"--please let me talk--."

"Get lost."

"Let me in, let's sit down and talk..."

"In? No, say what you're gonna say right here."

"It was you who put a knife to my hand—and you are afraid of me?"

"You deserved it."

"Please let me in and let's talk."

"Say. It. Here."

"It will take long—."

A short whimper made us stop the argument. A pair of doggy eyes looked at me in the sweetest way, accompanied by another short whimper. Hm. The doggy was sitting on its back legs, tail moving from one side to the other, right beside us. I grinned internally.

"Hi doggy..." I smiled warmly and bent down to pet the doggie's head. I smiled even wider as I caught the true color of those doggy eyes.

I stood up again and looked at Brendon.

"Ok, come in..." I said and he did, not after looking at the dog with a weird expression on his face. "... you too doggy..." I said sweetly, looking at the dog come inside my room, moving that tale of his happily. I almost laughed out loud.

The doggy jumped on my bed, making himself comfortable. Again I smiled at the sight.

"You don't fool me..."

I turned around. I knew it, his aura says it all. His tone was tense.

"What about?" I played innocent and went to sit on the bed, beside the dog.

"I don't trust you, if I am honest..."

I frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"You can't be up to anything good with the vampire..."

Silence. What the hell?

"I don't... seem to follow, Brendon..."

"A pet vampire... please..." he said and walked closer to my bed. "... no one likes to be a slave; less someone like him. He's up to something and he's using you for his end... if you are not already working with him..."

I began to laugh.

"Dude, you are imaginative..."

"Am I?" he walked to the bed again and as he was about to sit, a growl made him get back.

"And terribly judgmental." I looked at the dog beside me and then at him. "... he's very possessive about this bed... he loves it, you'll have to excuse him..."

He ignored the dog again and proceeded to glare daggers at me. I took some more air to speak.

"You can go to Hellsing and tell her your little theory if you want... but tell me when you're going so I can stand behind the door and hear her laugh her ass off."

"Or maybe you just like to get _fucked_ by the daemon..."

"_Stay..." I heard Alucard's whisper in my mind. I was about to get my knife from under my pillow._

"Oh yeah, with all that stuff he can do, can you blame me if I am curious?"

He was turning a bit red. I felt a cold nose smelling my cheek and an abnormally cool animal body resting half on me. After a little lick, the dog's head rested on my chest.

"I think you came here to tell me your little theories and blackmail me... I am still curious about what you want in exchange..."

More glaring from him. His eyes went to the dog and then to me. He tried to walk closer to the bed once more but again the doggy growled.

"Where-where did you get that dog from..." he asked with a frown.

Hm... now he's interested in the dog. I wonder why.

"I dunno, it walks around the place sometimes... I fed him once and he keeps coming back... isn't he cute?"

"_Thank you..." the vampire said into my mind._

As I was looking at the doggy I saw his head snap toward Brendon and growl louder. My head also turned violently to the man.

"_He's up to nothing good, milady... and he seems to have proof of our doings..."_

"What are you doing?" I asked Clay suspiciously, but not moving up or even flinching.

"I don't think it will be convenient for you if Hellsing knew about you fornicating with her vampire..."

"_Well, well... he has audio recordings... how outré of him..."_

Silence. My eyes went as big as saucers.

"What the fuck have you been doing around my room..." I asked, scratching the dog's chin, my voice sounding low and angry.

"What do you mean..."

"Where did you hide it..." I am about to go completely feral on the guy.

He stared at me a bit surprised.

"Answer me, where did you hide the fucking recorder..."

His eyes are getting bigger.

"Oh, now I get it..." I said with a smile, again the cold nose sniffing my neck. "... and Alucard is using me, right? You think I will be your bitch to shut you up?"

"_Milady, I am impressed... I wasn't aware that telepathy was contagious..."_

He was silent, anger in his face, the veins of his forehead about to pop out.

"I recommend you throw that crap out... if you know what is best for you."

"_Hm... I believe it's showtime..."_

"_Not too flashy please... I don't want to mop up his piss off my floor."_

I saw Clay's body jump off the ground a few centimeters, backwards, a look of panic on his face.

I caught with the corner of my eye four more eyes added to the doggie's head, slowly opening and closing a bit out of sync, glaring and I mean _glaring_ at the blonde man in front of us.

"You're... devil... bloody—." Clay began to walk backwards, clumsily and hastily, towards the door.

"Get the fuck out of my room and get rid of the stuff... be sure you destroy those tapes.. . you don't wanna get Casulled or Jackalled, or whatever; he is very imaginative when it comes to hurting people..."

Brendon's hand wasn't doing a good job in finding the door knob as his back touched the door.

"Who is who's bitch now?" I mumbled to myself with a devilish grin as he finally exited the door. "Should we worry about him?"

"_Leave it to me... he won't dare..."_

"Ok, I guess I'll trust you..."

I felt more licking from the doggy. A little too much and traveling to sensitive parts.

"Ah, ah , ah... no, not like this..." I scolded him.

"_I can't help it, milady... the smell of power and imperiousness is so inviting..."_

"Not like this!" I pushed the dog away. "AH! Don't let me see you changing—I'll kill you!" I put my hand over my eyes.

"_I am hurt..."_

"Are you done?"

A tackle. A playful laugh from me. And lots of fun stuff afterwards. DAMN! He wasn't kidding; 'power and imperiousness' DO turn him on.

No, not in his dog form, I don't go that way.

I wanna get my hands on those recordings... hmmm...

WHAT!... don't look at me like that!

* * *

Wheeeeee! yeah, an improvised chappy... if it sux, sowy... 

I guess reviews get me going to write more... I dunno... thanx a lot for the reviews!


	24. dating guys with kids, sighs

_Yay I'm back... _

_God, last week was horrible. But I am trying to get up to date with reading other stories and writing mine. Thanks a lot for those emails of support. Made my day, really. They put a smile on my face. Things are still not as good as i would like them to be but hell... can't complain at least I am alive and have no missing body parts._

_Ok, on with the thing!_

_

* * *

_

"Dude get off… we're outside!"

"There is no one around…" the vampire purred.

"Your powers get all sucky when you're distracted so I'm not relying on them…"

I looked around, my hand on the white earbud headphone.

"I wonder if people can hear this from outside."

"Already checked for that, milady; have a little faith on the _walking fossil_…"

"I dunno… maybe lower the volume a little—ah!"

A squeeze from a chilly leather gloved hand on the inside of my thigh made me jump. I tried not to, but a wicked chuckle left my lips.

"Stop it Alucard!" I scolded in between chuckles as I pushed his side playfully. He had the biggest grin on his face. "… where are we going?"

"The gymnasium."

"What for?"

He looks... concentrated on what we're listening to through the headphones.

"I quite enjoy it when you get this loud…" huge grin.

"Whatever—ow!" The cable that held my earpiece and his together tightened too much, pulling painfully at my ear. He held his white earbud in place, not wanting to miss any sound coming out of it.

Silence. More of our listening. I tweaked the thing in my ear to improve sound quality.

"Mmmh… I really like it when you do that…" I purred with a grin as I continued to listen. We were getting closer to the gym so we better start behaving. His hands had been a bit too restless since I put the damned earphone on him.

I took a lighter and a cig out of my stocking and lit it. As I took my first puff and let it out I felt his eyes on me.

"Your bed is quite loud…"

"Yeah, I've tried anything and everything." More listening. "… damn, _I'm_ loud…"

His bare fingers came to my mouth; before taking the cigarette away, he caressed my lips suggestively. My answer to this gesture was a flick of my tongue directed to the tip of his middle finger. He growled at the moist contact. I chuckled.

"Stop turning up the volume!" I whispered angrily.

"But I want to listen—."

"You have like superhuman hearing; it's weird enough we are sharing headphones; we don't want people listening to this…"  
I retrieved my cig from him and inhaled the smoke, getting that buzz I always get with the first cigarette of the day. He took this time to stealthily move his open hand under my skirt and grab my ass.

I jumped and squealed.

Then proceeded to kick him.

"Zere you are… always kicking people…" Damn, I hope he didn't see anything. We came face to face with the mercenary.

"Nice to see you too Captain."

"Mr. Alucard." he saluted mockingly with his hat.

"Bernadette." A mocking greeting back at him.

And with that, Pip continued on his way out of the gym as we walked in.

"What are we doing here again?" I asked softly looking at the vampire.

"Patience draga mea, patience…"

I shrugged internally and continued to walk with him.

What's the freaking mystery?

Another jump of mine… and a squeal.

"What's your fucking deal today with my ass!"

"I'm comparing sounds…"

"I'm not your goddamn piano I told you already."

"Hmmmmm…."

Is he checking me out?

"Are you ok, vampire?"

"Have you realized your uniform has been fitting differently?"

"Shut up."

"—a little tighter on the hips—."

"—Walter is loosing his touch with the laundry that's all…" I brought my skirt lower.

"He is?"

"—or I'm getting fat—."

"Oh no not at all, milady… " he purred a little too close.

More listening. I ignored him. My hand went inside his coat to get the player and lower the volume a bit. As I did this, my hand brushed almost innocently a sensitive part of his.

Dangerous little games being played in public; but I guess that listening to ourselves do the nasty through shared earphones can do this to us.

"Are you really that misinformed of the changes your body is going through with our doings?"

"Old wives tale, vampire; my body changes because I abuse of food and drink… don't flatter yourself…"

"Well it looks quite… localized, to be mere food and alcohol… and rather arousing…"

"Behave, this place is always packed…"

Last night, Alucard 'confiscated' the audio tapes Brendon was going to use to blackmail me. But we decided to take a peek and listen before disposing of them.

A _peek_.

The _peek_ turned into now listening to the third cassette in the _saga_; Clay organized, labeled and wrote descriptions on each tape. Lots of tapes. Talk about anal. I don't want to trash them… I want them in my ipod!

"Brendon, Brendon... I bet he had to listen to all of them to get so organized..." I sing-songed.

"And I'm very sure he enjoyed every minute of it..."

A soft click was heard. Then the beginning of a discussion we had on religion about a month ago.

"... Boring..." he sing-songed and I fast-forwarded it a bit with a chuckle. Play. There are the moans again. "... 3... 2..." he mumbled and in 1, a loud moan, more like a scream of mine almost made me go deaf forever.

Ok, _now_ he better take us back to my room cause I'm going to jump on him... he just came.

On the recording of course.

As I was putting the little player on my belt I felt the vampire stop.

In front of someone about to carry some dumbbells.

In front of Brendon, giving us his back, about to carry some dumbbells.

As the blonde man turned around and met the tall vampire's gaze, the heavy thing almost slipped out of his grasp.

Silence. I'm confused.

A few seconds of scared blue eyes looking at devilish reds.

"G-good evening..." Clay said, his voice almost breaking.

"Good evening Brendon." the vampire said casually. "... everything alright?"

"Yes, sir..."

"Pardon me?"

Clay turned to me after the vampire said this last thing, his teeth gritting, jaw muscles twitching. Then his eyes went back to Alucard.

"Y-yes... _Master_." The blonde guy corrected himself.

Silence.

_Master! _What. the. Fucking--

I can't laugh, I can't laugh... oh please don't laugh, girl.

"That is better... carry on..." the vampire sing-songed. "... oh, I'm sorry, are you thirsty, my dear?"

Alucard turned to me.

"I'm fine—I mean... yes, of course..." I answered.

The vampire looked at Brendon who handed me a shaky water bottle. I inspected it overdramatically.

"Unopened?" I asked.

"Y-yes."

"Ok, I'm happy then..." I grinned.

"Very good... _now_ carry on..." the vampire said this last thing turning to him.

We continued walking.

I'm going to piss my brief-shorts.

"Don't laugh, don't laugh, oh god I can't take it..." I whispered as we slowly exited the gym. "... what the hell did you—."

"Sh... sh, sh..."

This time _I_ came into the earphones.

"Ah… so beautiful..." the vampire said with a wide grin.

"Damn it—tell me what you did to him!" my smile was bigger than the gym.

"Hullo!" a happy Seras said in front of us.

Damn! Can't find the volume thingy!

"Hey girl, what's up?"

"I was going to go get you—what are you two listening to?"

"chopinthedoors."

Yes, we answered at the same time. I'm kind of sweatdropping.

Well, it was more like a strange phonetic hybrid between _Chopin _and _The Doors_.

Cho-doors.

The-pin... or something like that.

Anyways it confused the hell out of Seras.

"The-the doors... making a cover of... Chopin..."

I tried.

"Oh..." Seras was still confused. "... oh well, see you later then! Bye Master!"

He nodded at her and we finally were out of the place.

I yelped as I felt the vampire pulling me to a dark corner just exiting the gym. One leather-gloved hand under my ass and suddenly my legs left the ground, wrapping around his waist. He kept walking with me, my back expecting to feel a wall against it. To my surprise, after a little dizziness, the wall my body came to rest against was one in my room. Damn, teleporting has to be one of his coolest powers.

After my body hit the wall with a thump... he slowed down. My hands began to get busy, shedding him from his jackets and shirt, his hands clawing at my stockings, earphones still in place. The shirt of my uniform was being unbuttoned by invisible fingers; his thingies already making my boots hit the floor. His lips came to mine, already parted, his tongue seeking mine. I lost contact with his lips but never with his tongue. That tongue of his swirled around mine with all those 500 plus years of experience, his parted lips refusing to come in contact with mine yet.

Damn, this kiss must _look_ so hot, too.

Funny how thoughts materialize right in front of our eyes. In that moment, the door opened.

"—oh…kay! Let's get this started-- +yelps+ I'm sorry—so sorry—."

I stopped kissing him and looked at the door. Seras disappeared and closed it with a quick bang.

He growled.

"Shit I forgot I was going to play DDR with Seras…" I mumbled.

"Well, she will first have to review her manners if she wants to…"

I clicked my tongue.

"It's ok, I told her she could come in whenever she wanted—."

"Well, what if we would have been in another _kind_ of a situation? I don't think it is very considerate from her to just come in when she _knows_ by _now_ I could be in here with you…"

He sounds… kind of annoyed.

"Don't scold her for this… she had my permission."

"It is not polite to barge into someone's room, period."

"You do it all the freaking time, so who scolds you?"

"It is different… she doesn't have abilities I have to know when she can come in or not—."

"Your argument makes no sense whatsoever… even at times when I didn't want you in here you would appear sprawled on my bed and you know it…"

"Ah, but I knew that deep inside you didn't mind, draga mea…"

His tone was still annoyed.

"Don't scold her for this… it was not her fault, we always lock the door and this time we forgot…"

He tilted his head with a serious face, his tongue playing with one of his fangs I could see by his slightly parted lips. He is still serious. I think he will snap at me or something.

"I will do what I think is convenient to do…"

Ooook, that meant '_back off'_.

I looked at him in silence. Well she is his daughter.

"Fine… one thing though…" I said with my index finger raised for emphasis. "This… is my room… and I make the rules here, even if you don't like them."

Silence.

"She has my permission to come in as she likes… just so you know this."

He just continued to look at me, his head tilted. There was a little staring match between us and then he looked away, his hand squeezing the outside of my thigh.

"Just have her leave before midnight…" he mumbled.

"She will leave when we are done and she wants to. It's her free day."

My legs left his waist and landed on the floor. I had to get everything ready to play with Seras. As I turned around to say something to him... he disappeared.

I smell another fight. One of those _real_ ones.

* * *

"Oh no you didn't!" Seras said, her body rocking back and forth as her chuckles escalated to a laugh. 

"You had to see his face when your Master opened his other eyes... dude, he scared _me_; I thought he was either going to have a heart attack or piss on my floor..."

More of her laughing.

"But I have to say that Master behaved..." she said still chuckling.

"Well, he wanted to do something flashier of course... but he needed permission from Hellsing for what he had in mind... you know, the seals and stuff..."

Silence.

She looked at me silently. I looked back in an inquisitive manner.

"He—he told you about that?" she asked softly.

"Mh?"

"The restraints?"

"He was vague about it, but yeah, kinda..."

Silence.

"Sometimes you... tell me things that don't match with the image of him I have in my head..." She said with a soft frown.

"I know the feeling because at times I feel the same way."

Silence.

"Wow..." She looked at me still with that frown, then looked away again now with a little smile. "... Master has a girlfriend... never in this lifetime..."

"He does?" I asked incredulously. Her eyes snapped my way, kind of glaring at me. "what—oh—oh!--ME?"

"Uh... yes."

"No no no no no, I'm not his girlfriend!" I chuckled nervously. "... I don't think that word exists in his vocabulary."

"You are more in denial than I thought."

"I am NOT his girlfriend..."

(knock knock)

"Guess who..." I sing-songed as I walked to the door.

She started making geese sounds. I opened the door.

"Hullo..._luv_..." Pip said as his eyes studied me in 'luv'. "... is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?" I'm going to have to put my bra back on for these high schoolers.

"Up here, merc." I said snapping my fingers near my face.

"You usually answer the door in your underwear?" his eyes were buried almost under my white beater and my shorts. The other three idiots were doing more or less the same.

"What?" I said and looked at myself. " ... underwear? What do you think I am some old lady?" I asked confused.

They walked in still looking.

"And it's contagious!" Pip turned to Seras. "Hullo police... woman I should say."

"Shut up Pip!" she said very very blushed. She had more or less a similar outfit. Though she kept the bra on. Playing DDR can get really exhausting and we didn't want to get our uniforms sweaty.

"Keep it down, we are talking here..." I said calmly.

Hm... Chris is here again; Since when Pip hangs out with original Hellsing personnel?

"I will dedicate zees game to white little shirts and shorts..."

"Funny mercenary... keep it up and the closest to Tekken you'll get is me kicking your French ass publicly in the gym."

"Ooohh—Sir!" Jake stood at attention all of a sudden. Pip was glaring at him.

"Will you please..." the merc said obviously not appreciating his attitude.

"Sir!"

We saw them get comfortable in front of the TV. When they were into the game we continued our chat.

"Did your Master say something about you coming into my room?" I asked in a lower voice.

"Well..." she spoke softly and trailed off.

"I knew it... he was an ass about it..."

"You know how he is..."

"Yes... an ass..."

She shrugged.

I sighed. "Girl you have to stand up to him a little too."

"But he's—."

"No no no, he will do as much as _you_ let him." she continued to look at me in silence. "... I'm not saying to go and snap back at him or give him the finger like I do, but let him know he's being unfair at times..."

"I'm scared that he will like me even less..."

"'Less'? You're his blood, how can he not like you?"

She shrugged again.

"Yeah, I know he does like me..." she continued in a very low and almost whiny voice. "... but he's so..."

"Yeah I know..."

Silence.

"So has Clay said anything after that time?" she asked looking at the TV.

"About last week's scare? No... actually he sees me and gets as far away from me as he can. He's a coward. I thought he was going to fight back or regain his dignity, but nah. I know _'you know who'_ gave him another scare; but I haven't been able to get it out of him... yet." Silence. "Clay's calling him Master... damn it's hilarious... I wonder why, man…"

There was another round of laughs from us.

Chris is looking at me a lot. What's the deal?

(knock knock)

I jogged toward the door. It's the vampire, I can tell.

"_You are going to catch a cold, my dear." I felt a mental purring as I opened the door. The vampire saluted me with his hat. Oh such decency. He puts up a good show."... don't you think you should wear a little more clothing around the Geese?"_

"_This is how I dress. If they don't like it they can leave. And that goes for you too."_

" _'Not liking' is not the issue here."_

"_There's no issue, period." He walked pass me, looking me over._

"_At least a brassiere?"_

"_Shut up before I feel like having chronic 'headaches' for a month."_

What the hell is he doing here anyway?

He went to the only chair in my room and sat there, crossing his legs elegantly, being eyed carefully by the geese, but not by Chris. I guess he must be used to Alucard. He has been with Hellsing for more time than Pip and the Geese.

He was silent most of the time, watching carefully how they played. Then things between Pip and Seras began to get heated, as always. They also have their spats once in a while. I like how she snaps back at him. It's a whole new police girl, he he.

"Police girl, I think it's late; you should get some rest..." Alucard said as he looked at the others play.

"M—Master I want to stay a little long--."

"Police girl." he said a bit more commanding. I looked at him with narrow eyes.

"Y—yes, Master..." she said sadly and stood up. I walked with her to the door, gave her a hug and closed it as she left. I went to my bed and rested my back against the wall, right in front of Alucard and looked at him like the ass he is.

"_You are so unfair to her... you very well could have sent her to bed quietly in her mind... not in front of everyone..."_

"_Do not tell me how to treat my fledgling; if I can't comment on your wardrobe, do not even think you have a right to tell me how to talk to Seras."_

"_Does she need to cuss you out so you can respect her? You have some serious problems vampire."_

"_Are we having this discussion?" his tone sounded very annoyed. _

_Dangerously annoyed. His eyes just got bigger._

"_Never mind then..." _

He kept glaring at me and then suddenly the TV shut down.

"Shit-fuck!" Pip said.

"I was winning, damn the thing..." Jake said in between teeth.

"I'm tired guys, let's continue tomorrow..." I said still looking at the vampire.

"Let's see; I can feex eet--"

"Pip, I'm tired please... tomorrow."

The vampire was still sitting on the chair, glaring daggers at me, and vice versa.

Oh, there were going to be fireworks in seconds.

"Awright... uh—bye then..." the mercenary said and pushed the others feeling the tense situation, I guess. I think he caught us glaring at each other.

We waited for their steps to fade out completely.

"What are you trying to do?" the vampire asked in his characteristic voice, but not his characteristic face. He was being sarcastic but no grin was present.

"I am not trying anything. I am telling you that you are unfair to Seras."

"And what exactly makes you think I will consider any outside opinion concerning this matter."

"I don't give one if you consider it or not. I am just telling you what I think."

"You think you can do a better job than I can with her? Do you even have the decency of asking me why I treat her like this?"

"I would like to know too because I don't get it. But if it upsets you so much, then I won't say anything else, don't worry..."

"Do you think you can make her a better vampire with your human tenderness and understanding?"

"This has nothing to do with humans and vampires Alucard..."

"Maybe if I hug her and kiss her pink tears every time she fails a mission or almost gets someone killed will do better than actually letting her figure it out on her own, mh?"

He stood up and walked closer to me.

"You don't get it--"

"No, _you_, do not get it. Have you seen what grief does to her? Have you seen her in agony or fear?" Silence. " ... she paralyzes, turns into useless piece of animated flesh like you called me once—!"

I stood up. "You are so unfair how can you speak about her—."

"You have seen it... she digs a hole in the ground and hides! She becomes weak, and you know I hate weakness! I will never let a fledgling of mine be weak! And you can't confront weakness with more weakness. It will only kill her later on..!"

"Being there for her is not weakness, Alucard! Being understanding and talking to her is not weakness! Call it a human trait or whatever the hell you want! You don't fool me; you go through things like this too… or have at some time! It is only natural!"

He came close to me, almost nose against nose. "Natural?... I remember you in fear—not being able to speak, dying or believing you were... and not a tear rolled down your face! Not one! With a knife in your stomach, and you stood up and walked away! She is a vampire, a true Nosferatu, has my blood in her, why in the name of hell can't she be like _YOU_ then..!"

Silence.

I looked at him in silence. It must make _him_ feel weak too.

He stepped back, irritated. I hope he doesn't leave. He can be really evasive when spilling information he shouldn't. Like now.

"Is that it? You're mad because according to you, a human is stronger than a fledgling of yours?"

Silence.

"I am getting so frustrated with her..." he almost mumbled, still irritation in his voice, his back to me. His pacing was still present.

Silence.

"Give her time. I do understand your point. But everyone learns differently. Try another way—I'm not saying to kiss her and hug her... maybe don't scold her so much, a little more attention... talk to her, I dunno..."

Silence.

"I would offer to help, Alucard, but..."

" ... you have nothing to gain here... " he 'finished' for me. I frowned.

"I can't believe you just said that..." I whispered. He looked at me. "... not everyone acts in their self interest all the time. I don't care what you think..." I felt… hurt. How could he think this of me? But this was about her, not us. So I had to bring her back to the discussion. " ... yes, she still clings to her humanity so try and treat her like a human until she adapts..."

Silence. He shook his head softly.

More silence.

"At times like this I wish you were—." he mumbled, his eyes pierced into mine… hurtfully? He trailed off. I waited but nothing else came from him.

Why do I feel like I did something? But I haven't done anything!

I felt the air not filling my lungs suddenly. What did he mean with this?

"It is your choice to shift those paradigms you have about 'those like you' and 'those like me'... but I do tell you something..." I stopped in front of him before entering the bathroom. " ... if you want to teach her, first understand her... then you will know how to proceed in the best way for her... not everyone works the same way…" Silence. "... and as a parenthesis, it seems I am not the only one bottling up questions…"

"It is not a _question_…" he whispered closer to my face. "… it is _answers_… and I won't answer an unuttered question…"

Silence. God this is getting so complicated.

I went inside the bathroom and prepared my bath. As the tub filled with water and I put some lavender smelling bubbles in it, I felt a weight on the air.

I opened my mouth to say something casual, but his gloved hand squeezed my side. I turned serious again and closed my mouth. He was going to say something… non casual.

Silence.

"I lost everything once... a long time ago." He whispered sadly. I felt a pang in my chest. "I will not let it happen again... this is why I need her to be strong..."

I guess it's his way of caring about her.

"I am being called." he whispered.

"Alright..."

And then he was gone.

I sighed. My mind went back to that look and what he said. How can a single question hold so much?... damn my pride; yes, it is pride that wont let him ask the dreaded question...

Oh no... I _am _sounding like a girlfriend...

Damn… too much bubble powder… shit!

* * *

_  
Angstyyyyyyyyyyyyy… I don't even know under what to put this story… I mean what genre… +shrugs+ oh well…_

_Yummay cookies?_


	25. Oh ShooT Part I

_OMG IS THIS A SONG-CHAP? No it's not. Just a little intro to the chappy. I was listening to this song and I suddenly wanted to go to war. And then I thought of Hellsing. Very cool song, I recommend it. The band is awesome; I have all their CDs._

_**DISCLAIMER**: don't own Hellsing blablabla and even less The Cruxshadows and their song **Citadel (absurd minds remix)…** though I did party with Rogue one time cause he's friends with a friend of mine MUAHUAHUAHU… he's cool, awesome hair, speaks really slowly. That's unusual in Florida. _

_Got an interesting question in the reviews, thanx Smoke!_

_The thing about "Walter loosing his touch with laundry" is due to a change that a woman's body goes through after passing from being a "technical" virgin (meaning no intercourse at all) to having an active sex life (with intercourse). It is more prominent in some women than others, depending on body shapes and age; hips get wider because of the constant... well... god I hate T ratings sometimes... and also body tends to get shapelier from the waste down; doctors have theories about this; the woman is maturing (ready for childbearing) and so is her body OR she's just getting another kind of exercise. Sometimes even breasts increase in size, but still is not something too dramatic. Men tend to see it more than women since it is an animal response to fertility. If anyone has a comment about this, I welcome opinions and stuff in the reviews. Or just ask me about it. But here I can say that according to my research and life experience, it's true :D It was just another way of letting people see they share lots of intimacy. +shrugs+ _

_Love questions like this... they make me feel people don't just go over the thing. It's flattering._

_THE VERSION ON AFF (adult fan fiction) OF THIS CHAPPY IS MORE EXPLICIT. IF YOU CAN GO TO AFF I RECOMMEND IT. MORE LEMON GOODNESS.

* * *

_

_Languid waves of desperation_

_Fall before the rains_

_A vanguard to approaching war_

_Is borne upon the sea  
_

Ahh… it is nice when missions go this well.

I have a limp but what the hell. My uniform is wet with the rain, but who cares. My lips move slightly to the words of the song stuck in my head; can't help but remember it after the brutal killing.

_The icy breath of cyclones bent_

_On waging our destruction_

_Drills hard against the hearts of heroes_

_Called here to defend_

My voice comes out in between parted lips, carrying the tune. Seras is beside me and seems to also remember it. Johnson played it a few times while we were patrolling and for some strange reason it just… fit. It's about the Trojan war. We are no Troy; but at times it can almost feel like it.

_I see storms on the horizon_

_I see the tempest at the gates_

_I see storms on the horizon_

_And a citadel alone_

My arms tightened around Chloe, pressing her closer to my body. I smiled a little smile; sometimes what we do here hits me. It's beyond heroic; and the anonymity adds to it. I feel eyes on me and look up to see Jake walking backwards, in front of me.

"You are… hugging the CAWS." he said with a frown.

"I am whatta?" I woke up from my thoughts.

"The CAWS."

I looked at Chloe and then back at him.

"And?"

Silence.

"Never mind." Jake mumbled turning around and looking at me as if I was nuts.

"You _are_ hugging it…" Seras said softly.

"So?"

She stared at me for a moment.

"WHAT!"

She sighed and we continued to walk further away from the vans; finally home and safe.

I happen to like my gun!

_I see storms on the horizon_

_And a citadel alone_

_Clinging brave defying fate_

As Chloe dangled from my hand after getting more looks, I felt two strong arms wrap around me from behind and raise me in the air.

A hard body behind my back.

Yes, human; it's warm.

A chin rested on my shoulder.

"Thank you." An emotion packed male whisper caressed my ear… literally.

I'll be damned; the Aussie.

"No problem." I said trying not to smile, my eyes big in surprise. No, it wasn't sensual or flirty what he was doing. Just emotional. He let me down on the ground again, Sera's big eyes turning into crimson question marks.

"What was that about?" her fangs were shining in the night, a wicked smile on her face.

"Saved his butt… he got grabbed by a ghoul. Scary shit, but Chloe here sent the walking crap to eternal _fuckation_!" I raised Chloe dear in the air.

"Amen!" Seras answered with a laugh.

_Sudden silence - I realize_

_Breaking teardrops in the rain_

_With every breathing moment_

_The pillars are sustained_

I walked toward Pip and circled him as Seras's and my singing voices were getting louder. Surprisingly he didn't give me any odd looks but belted out the lyrics with us.

_Waking hands attached to nothing_

_Tightly clutching close_

_Each sleeping vision speaks unheard_

_And heaven only knows_

I grabbed Seras's hand and pulled her closer to Pip and Jake. I placed Pip's hat on my head as Jake sang with us too, almost jokingly. I jumped on Jake's back on piggy-ride, by now the four of us were almost yelling the lyrics.

_And I will stand here at the gates to face the onslaught fighting_

_Without surrender or defeat!_

At this part others joined in a chorus, strong enough to give goose bumps. I let go of one of my arms around Jake's neck and raised Chloe in the air. Others joined this gesture, Seras's laughter nearby making me smile. Pip wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his voice louder among ours.

_With Troy besieged by tyrants' greed_

_In Hector's memory, God willing_

_We shall save this victory_

_Without surrender or defeat!_

Some yelled _London_ instead of _Troy_ and _undead_ instead of _tyrants';_ others _Helsing _instead of _Hector_. As the song ended, there was a lot of cheering.

Yes… victorious again. It's a good feeling.

* * *

"Walter, is that Chai I smell?"

"You are getting better at it, Miss." he was referring to my English accent.

"I know... though I'm getting this weird tickle on the upper wall of my mouth when I talk like this... it's kind of annoying..." I tried to scratch it with my finger; not a very aesthetic move, that one.

"I gather you would like some tea?"

"Please..." He served the cup on the table where I had already taken a seat. "Oh, thankies; this smells so good..."

"Enjoy miss."

As I took my first sip I thought of something.

"Walteeer...?" I sing-songed innocently.

"Yeees..?" he sing-songed back knowing I was up to no good.

"Can I go to the libraryyyy and read for a little whiiiile?"

He sighed with a smile, his head shaking softly.

"Pweeeze..?"

"Alright... but please don't take long Miss..."

"Can I take my tea with me?..."

"Only if you do not—."

"Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble ever... you are the sweetest man alive." he smiled again shaking his head. "... I'll be off then..."

"You're very welcome!..."

"Oh! Sorry! Thank youuu!" I said from the stairs.

Still the same paintings and statues on the walls; if I had all her money I would have the biggest art collection in Europe. Oh well... I guess she has to pay for all the stuff we use. Never mind, I didn't say anything. As I was about to enter the library, I heard the piano. I smiled to myself as I saw the vampire sitting at the piano bench, but decided to ignore him after my eyes rested on his back for a few seconds. I am not supposed to be here in the first place so it is better if I have no contact with him. I walked to the bookshelves and began to look for a good one or two books to at least skim for a few minutes.

He kept playing and playing. I wanted to listen to him, but I better get out of here soon. Yeah, after Hellsing's little warning that time, I have been staying away from him outside of my room, but still not too much to be suspicious; hey, I want to keep my job. She had given me a squad and all that, but still I had the idea in my head that she had done it just to prove him wrong when he said her anger was all about jealousy. I am just a very lucky girl, or he did it on purpose. With him, is hard to know.

Silence.

He stopped playing. Well... I'm waiting, maybe he's gonna come back here and say something...

Nothing. I guess he left. Good... better if he leaves. There's nothing sexier than a man that can break someone's neck with two fingers but can play the piano masterfully.

Did I just say that? God, I'm _so weird_...

I turned around and gasped as I felt someone behind me. A pair of red eyes glowing in the mild darkness of the room were enough to give me a clue of who it was.

"God—scared me again..." I almost choked on the sip of tea I had in my mouth. I placed it aside on the bookshelf.

"Buna seara ..."

"Good evening to you too..."

"Felt you come in... how rude, not even a '_hello_'..." He's up to something.

"You looked busy..."

Oh, so we are playing the innocent, _I-don't-invade-your-personal-space-but-in-a-moment-I-will-screw-you_ game.

"Still up, milady? After tonight's exhausting mission?"

"Adrenaline... I'm tired but can't go to sleep..."

He smiled. Hmm... that smile.

"Everything went very well for you and your squad on tonight's mission... congratulations."

"Thank you, everyone did well... it was a good night."

With time I have come to realize there is a little formula to know what to expect from the vampire in bed... or wherever we do our things. The rating of his performance is relative to how many ghouls or freaks I kill that night multiplied by the amount of times I grin or smile to myself thinking about how the mission went, plus the amount if people I scold or yell at. And there is a big bonus if I save someone's ass.

Plus those hands on his back only mean trouble.

He leaned toward my ear. "I smelled you from downstairs."

"Hm?"

"Are you aware of today's date?"

Silence. Oh, right... and having my period suddenly adds 3000 points to the formula.

"Well, well... I have a period-alarm? You _are_ useful to have around..."

Yep, he wants some action. Right here. He's got to be kidding me.

"Alucard... this room has cameras." I whispered seriously.

Oh that look. Damn him.

I pulled at his coat and brought him to me, his lips hitting mine, already parted, fangs dangerously hitting the corner of my mouth. They drew blood so our pleasure grunts and moans filled the quiet room in no time. As his teeth nibbled on my bleeding lip, menacing to open another wound, his open hand slid up the side of my thigh, squeezing greedily and almost painfully, the skin he touched. I clawed at the leather on his shoulders, bringing him a bit more to my height, in that moment feeling the feathery sensation of his glasses and hat disappearing. His fingers crawled under the skirt of my uniform and pulled my brief-shorts and underwear down in one smooth pull.

What the hell is he doing? He seriously wants to do this here? He's crazy!

Yes, Hellsing is asleep but we don't know when she will wake up! And his powers tend to get all screwed up when he's... busy.

Ok, making out in here, fine... now, _the whole enchilada_, I don't think so... and knowing him, he will bring extra meat and lots of fiery sauce...

His hand directed me a little to my right and then made me stop. As his kiss increased in both temperature and rating, I felt my back hitting... something different than the shelves. But his tongue caressing mine in the way it was would make me care less what this was. His hands met mine in between needy caresses and slowly took them over my head. He made my hands wrap around... wood, it seemed; his body language telling me to hold on to whatever this was. Curiosity hit me. I broke the kiss to see I was leaning against a tall ladder; those used to reach books on the top of the shelves. His lips went to my neck, nibbling and kissing, my shirt magically unbuttoning on its own accord. His hands went to my hips and... directed me _upwards_. He wanted me to climb the damn thing, so step after step I climbed the ladder with my back against it; why, oh why, make everything so complicated? Is he too good to kneel? Damn him if I fall...

_Higher? Geez!_

By now my stomach was at the height of his face, his hands stabilizing me by my thighs. He made me stop climbing finally, my tight fingers clutching at the wooden step over my head, holding on to it with my life. He licked his lips in expectation, his hand raising one of my legs as his head got closer to the tender and smooth skin in between my thighs.

Fuck, If I fall...

All I could feel was that spiderweb of sensations spreading through me from the skin he was touching. I closed my eyes, swallowing a moan, my head thrown back against the wooden ladder. Oh, that tongue of his. I have never been so happy about getting my period before. My head rested even further back my hands clutching at the books within my reach. In no time, his ministrations brought me to my peak, his hand coming to my mouth in time to avoid my scream to be heard by every soul inhabiting the mansion.

_Vampire, this has to be quick, we can't play around like we do in my room._

He let my body fall from up there, his arm around my waist stopping me before I touched the ground. As I opened my eyes I could see him licking his lips, so suggestively, taking the last remains of my blood.

"Don't kiss me now or I'll kill you..." I whispered, eyes unfocused, my breath heavy. His hand reached in a relaxed way toward the side and my forgotten cup came to his hand. He tasted the tea carefully at first; once, twice, like I have seen him taste wine, and then took a good gulp from it. My boots finally touched the floor, but my legs were still a bit unsteady.

"Hmm... so this is what you also taste like..." he said playfully before his parted lips again met mine. One of my hands went to his coat, almost climbing up his body.

"We're... gonna get... caught..." I said into a moan.

"_As long as milady keeps those luscious lips closed, we wont."_

"_I'll try.." Oh yumm, he tastes like Chai... can this get any better?_

I felt him lowering a bit to my height, his open hands groping my thighs and hips hungrily. Something told me to intertwine my fingers at the base of his neck, because again I was going to fly off the floor.

"Wha--hah!"

In one smooth movement, my legs were around his waist, holding him tight. This was the _thing_ of this week; he was liking the idea of having me wrapped around him while he stood. At his movements, my moans were muffled against his mouth and tongue, sometimes biting into the latter to suppress the louder ones. He was silent as if I was there by myself. How can he fucking do that!

In moments like this, of craziness, he still had gestures that would make me smile. The way his hand would softly cup my face, his fingertips caressing the back of my neck, would make me feel something strange in my stomach. It was no biggie, but I guess it was just the way... I dunno... bleh I sound so stupid...

Oh ... I can feel another one coming...

**(TAP... TAP... TAP)**

He stopped. My eyes flew open. A cold current down my spine.

No. Please. Not. Her.

"I wish to see you two in my office once you are decent..."

Hellsing.

I'm looking at him. _Vampire, where is your grin?_ He is looking too serious for my sanity.

Silence. I could only hear her steps fading away.

My. Fucking. God. What the hell did I just get myself into... again.

* * *

_BUSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!_


	26. Oh more SHooT Part II

_Ok, there is a big storm coming to Florida and I am on the middle of the path. I am scared shitless so sorry if the grammar or wording or it just doesn't sound right. I needed to post to keep my mind off other things for now, since the storm will hit tonight or early in the morning. It sucks because I started a new painting and it might get ruined with the storm. But hell, as long as I keep my house on the ground I don't care. I hope it doesn't suck too much guys. Sorry again. _

_And Katrina (the storm's name) +Su gives her the finger+_

_**DISCLAIMER**: ... the one you guys know by heart..._

_

* * *

_

_**(TAP... TAP... TAP)**_

_He stopped. My eyes flew open. A cold current down my spine._

_No. Please. Not. Her._

"_I wish to see you two in my office once you are decent..."_

_Hellsing._

_I'm looking at him. Vampire, where is your grin? He is looking too serious for my sanity._

_Silence. I could only hear her steps fading away._

_My. Fucking. God. What the hell did I just get myself into... again._

Silence.

"Damn it..." my boots hit the floor and my eyes screened the floor for my undergarments "... I'm _so_ getting fired—"

Silence. He was still standing there.

I looked at him with eyes full of worry.

"How fucked are we?"

He got into his thoughtful pose.

"Let's say we wish we would have gotten that far…"

"Shit…" I bit my lip almost drawing blood. I tried to fix my hair with my fingers. "Lets go and get this over with, vamp…"

I saw him frown a bit, looking away, his hand stopping me as I walked toward the door.

"What is it..?" I whispered.

He was silent still looking away… listening?

I didn't move, not by choice but because he was not letting me go. He did after a few seconds of silence.

"You do know it's your goddamn fault if I get fired, right?" oh the sarcasm in me was almost palpable.

"I didn't hear you complain—"

"—Now I need a fucking tampon and I have none with me—"

"I had it all, you don't need any."

"—I can't fucking believe she saw us!—why didn't you see her! You're getting senile or something?.."

"I was quite distracted... although I remember stating that everything would be alright if only you would've kept quiet—"

"Well, pardon me your _Highness_; I am only human and I breathe! Go find yourself a vampire to screw so you don't have those problems…"

"Oh no... but you're too much fun..."

I scoffed and stomped out of the room, toward Hellsing's office.

As I continued walking I heard him once in a while in the shadows, his chuckles making my blood run hot in anger.

I hate him now more than ever.

"Of course, keep laughing you idiot... if I get fired you are paying for my rent and food, do you hear me?"

"I will pass on that milady… feeding humans is such an arduous task…"

"I'm serious, corpse! And you will find me an apartment... a huge one, with my own balcony."

"—but then again, human tastes in housing tend to be somewhat banal—"

"Ok, let me think what else I need and I'll gladly add it to the list, asshole..."

"Such a pretty mouth."

"Fuck you, how's that."

"Hmm, again?"

"Shut up."

Shit, maybe I did get loud and she heard us. I remembered him being so silent. Not even breathing.

"What the hell was I thinking when I decided to get myself involved with a dead man..." I mumbled.

"Well… you were curious—"

"It is in your best interest to shut it."

"—after all, we _are_ masters of seduction—"

I scoffed.

"Well, it worked with you, hm?"

"Oh no Sir, you didn't seduce me into anything it was all my choice..."

"Yes... just as it was also _your_ choice back there to get—"

"Stop. Yes, Walter?" I came face to face with the older man. He seemed a little amused with the conversation.

I was blushing out of my mind.

"Sir Hellsing has an emergency meeting with the Information Retrieval unit. She will see both of you tomorrow first thing in the morning—"

Alucard clicked his tongue. I glared at him. Walter gave him a curious look.

"Something wrong, Lord Alucard?"

"Morning?" the vampire had this face only kids get when their mom says they have to get up early the next day to go to school.

"Walter we will be there." I answered for both of us.

"Can we reschedule?" yes, he is in 5 year old mode now.

I turned to him.

"You seriously have a nerve when it's all your fault—"

"I am positive you just said—"

"If you'll excuse me..." Walter said and turned to leave with a smile on his face.

"Thanks Walter." I returning the smile but glared at the vampire again. "... you don't even thank him—what kind of a friend are you—"

"Milady, I haven't seen you this angered before... and I have to say—"

I pulled him by his cravat to my height. "Stay away from me." and then I pushed him.

I exited the hall/level/mansion after his chuckles.

* * *

(dialing…) 

No, I'm not really mad at him. I'm just scared. Damn, what were we thinking! Well, it's not the first time things like this happen outside of my room, but I mean... it's _her_ house. Jeez, she will shoot me I know it.

And it's him. HIM. Of all people, her precious pet vampire who I know by now she not only sees as a mere killing machine. I'm getting fired and going to Hell in one day. I suck.

(tone... tone... tone)

Again I'm getting the damn recording telling me this phone number doesn't exist either. I don't think I have any other numbers I can call.

(click)

What am I supposed to do now?

My skin got bumpy all of a sudden. He's here. I didn't turn to him. I kept looking at page after page of my slim address book, feeling his eyes on my back.

"She hasn't fired you yet." he said finally. No, he was not in 5 year old mode anymore it seemed.

"Like she will let this slide, oh please..." Silence. "I would fire my ass in one second if I was her."

Silence. I bit my nails nervously as I kept reading the damn book for the second time. No time for self pity or any of that crap.

"No luck I see..." he commented casually.

"No... every number I call has been changed or disconnected or something... it's been a while anyways..." Silence. "... so much for being self-sufficient; friends are like plants, some people say… and I never liked gardening I guess…" I mumbled.

Silence.

Damn him. I will miss him.

"I can't sleep now... I'll stay up until she wants to see us..." I almost mumbled but I knew I didn't need to articulate for him to know what was in my head.

Silence.

"Wanna play Soul Calib—." I stopped as I felt him on the bed, sitting behind me, his lips on my shoulder. I rested back against him, my back hitting his side. I felt his hair tickling my ear as his temple landed on my head.

Silence. I feel like I want to cry. Why does he have to act like this now.

"I'll have to keep on calling people… see what happens…" Silence. "Did you... see how she reacted?" I asked, wanting to know my future in the Organization. "she sounded... pretty much like her normal self."

"Years have taught her much... it becomes harder for me to tell..." I turned to face him. "... especially when she knows I am trying to take a peek...

Silence.

"What time is it?"

"It is far from dawn yet..."

"What will she do to you?" I whispered.

"She will punish me, of course..."

"I hope it's not too painful..."

"Me too..." he said almost playfully.

Silence.

"... but surprisingly her anger was directed towards me..." he continued answering my question. "... but I can't quite say I understand how she reacted towards you..."

"So that's the part you can't tell..."

"Yes..."

I frowned. Why would she react differently toward me? His lips curled a bit upward.

"... Or maybe I don't need to..." yes, he had traces of a smirk. I looked at him still with a frown on my face.

"So you _do_ know, but you just won't tell me, right?"

He tilted his head a bit, his eyes sparkling.

I kept looking into his crimson eyes. I felt almost like pouting.

Silence. I breathed in slowly, my head tilted to one side.

"Have you been with her all her life?" my voice was surprisingly small. "... did you see her grow up?"

Silence.

"I have been with her in the most important years of her life as I remember her saying once..." Silence. "... I can't say I have seen her bloom to what she is today because she keeps doing so... every day... it never stops..."

Silence.

"Once you said you taught her... about feelings and emotions... it sounds like you two are very close... "

Silence.

"She is an exceptional woman..." I continued to study him. "... one of the few humans I truly respect."

Silence. I smiled sadly.

"You... get this spark in your eyes when you talk about her... this is not the first time I see it..."

Silence. He didn't look away.

A smile instead of a grin on him. A knowing smile. It intrigued me.

This almost discouraged me from doing what I was going to do. But I couldn't back out of this. Tomorrow I could be in another place. I stood up and walked to my night table. My hand went to the switch of the little lamp and turned it off. The room went dark, my eyes not wanting to adjust. Darkness was good now. I knew he could still see me, but the idea was for _me_ not to see _him_.

Blindly I walked to the bed and sat, far away from him.

"I want you to know something." I finally whispered.

"Yes..."

"If she does fire me... I will miss you... too much for my own good..."

Silence.

"I don't care what I said before... I will—a lot—and..." silence. "... I still don't understand why—you know this already, don't you?"

"I do."

I jumped feeling his voice way closer than before.

"... but it is nice to hear it, milady..."

"God—you love sneaking up on me!"

"It makes me feel all fuzzy inside to see you jump..." I could hear his grin.

I clicked my tongue. Silence.

"Maybe..." I began, gulping first. "... if you weren't what you are, it would be simpler..." silence. "... but then again..."

"... it all makes up _who_ I am..." he finished for me.

"I still can't block you out of my head, man—."

"I didn't look."

Silence.

"I am familiar with the feeling..." he said softly. I felt his fingers pinch my chin in the dark. "... surprisingly with more than one..."

And of course I couldn't suppress the thump in my stomach, wanting to know if he meant me. Or her. Or anyone else. But again my pride wouldn't let me ask.

"Where are you..." I whispered my hands in front of me, looking for him. His hands came to mine revealing his position. I sat near him, nuzzled on his neck like that time, again his arm holding me in a firm embrace.

More of that deep silence announced the end of the conversation. Nothing else was said. His fingers caressed my hair and I smiled sadly again. We stayed there in silence for some time. My body eventually rested on his lap, his fingers remained in my hair.

I dozed after a while, his caresses on my hair relaxing me. I felt a squeeze on my shoulder after what I felt was a second of sleep. It was time to go see her. I stood up and walked to the bathroom to get ready but as I came out of the bathroom he was gone. I went to get some clothes on, since he had advised not to wear my uniform. He said something about that it would send a good message of respect and taking consequences for my actions, or something like that. Well, he knows her more than anyone, so I agreed to that.

I slipped on my adored pair of jeans, ripped at the knees, a white beater and a green fleece jacket. Mh, I thought Seras still had it. She borrowed it thinking it looked very 70's. Oh well, I get that a lot anyways. I wasn't wearing my uniform but there was no way in hell I was going to wear something to kiss ass. What was done, was done. There was nothing I could do. I combed my wet hair leaving it loose and sighed as I stepped out of my room.

As I walked to the main house I got weird looks from soldiers who surprisingly were walking around at that time. They knew something was wrong since I wasn't wearing my uniform. I just smiled and continued walking. Not like they need to know or anything. Shit, I'm going to miss him a lot. The thought again just appeared in my head.

My flip flops were silent against the elegant floor, making me remember the contrast with my heavy boots. I raised my eyes and found the vampire resting against the wall in front of the huge oak door of her office. I smiled a little sad smile at him.

"How about... one more date..?" he said beside me. I bit my lip, sensing a goodbye already.

"Mh hm..." I was scared to talk and find my voice breaking. "... are you going to knock or what..." I tried to sound snappy. _Tried_.

"One more minute milady..."

I turned to him with a frown.

"You look lovely."

I clicked my tongue and tried not to smile. He also would tease me about me dressing in the wrong time period. Like he should talk.

I knocked and gulped.

"Come in." I heard the woman's voice and sighed.

"See you inside..." he sing-songed and disappeared.

I walked in and stood in front of her desk, saluting. She looked at me, looked down, and looked back eying my ensemble. Then she went back to her paperwork.

Hm. Our jackets kind of match; not on style of course, but in color.

"At ease."

And so I did.

Silence.

"Alucard, show yourself..." and he came through the wall. The vampire came walking all dandy and relaxed and before turning to face Hellsing where he had decided to stop, had the nerve to wink at me over his glasses, of course making very sure she would see him. I went red in anger.

Silence. She is glaring at us. I'm shaking.

"I won't even ask for an explanation. I cannot imagine what went through the heads of the two of you when you decided to disrespect my home in this manner."

"I don't think you want to My Master."

She stood up and walked toward him hurriedly but once she stood in front of him, they only looked at each other. I saw him blink mockingly, her lips getting tighter with anger.

My guess, telepathy.

"_You_ have done enough these past weeks, vampire—I am getting tired of your audacities!" she looked at me now, my spine getting as straight as it could. She walked to a middle point between the two of us and spoke. "... both of you know this is a Protestant home and I WILL NOT tolerate this sinful behavior!" she turned those ice blue eyes to me " I have been very discerning about this matter—not by choice but because of a foolish incident in the sublevels and now I see my error." she went back to him. "I do not care what you do in the privacy of your chambers—but this is MY HOUSE! And it will be treated with respect—WHAT IS SO AMUSING ALUCARD!"

"Master?" I can't fucking believe he's grinning like this!

Silence.

"Officer?" her icy voice uttered the title. I almost jumped.

"Sir!"

She walked in front of me. I'm so fired. I'm shaking, I'm shaking...

"As I said once before, there is no room in this sacred order for people who protect and join themselves with monsters; no room in this Organisation for such filth." she paused and came half a step closer, her voice lower but way more tense. "... and there is no room in this manor for women who disgrace their bodies in such a way as you have, going against God's word by acting like cheap dirty whores—."

"Integra—."

She cocked her gun and aimed at his head still looking at me. "Servant, you will address me as what I am to you and nothing else, understood?"

"It was not her—."

"UNDERSTOOD!"

Silence.

"Yes Master..."

"I only wish you have kept your legs crossed enough as to not wear out my units."

"Master—."

She turned slowly at him. "Is something not to your liking, Alucard?"

"It was not her fault."

"I did not see you fornicate with my book shelves, vampire!" she walked again toward him.

"I forced her to it."

"_WHAT?" I yelled at him in my head._

"I am aware that you two are lovers, do not insult my intelligence!"

"THIS time I forced her."

"DO NOT lie to me SERVANT!"

"I am not lying."

"Her clinging to your neck made me think otherwise—" she straightened her posture as the end of this sentence, breathing in, abruptly trailing off.

"Master... how long did you stand there and watch?"

She slapped him across the face.

"Women here love to slap me—."

"Is this true Officer?"

"Ah—."

"She wasn't aware of it." he answered quickly.

"Pardon me?" her eyes were big and full of sarcasm.

"You know I can do this..."

Silence.

"Deamon..."

"That I am."

More of their staring contests. He looks surprisingly serious now; no traces of the smirk with which he started. Yes, I can swear they are saying things to each other by thoughts. Her brow furrows softly from one second to the other; almost imperceptibly. When his lips try to curl into a smirk, they suddenly come back to that serious expression.

It makes me so curious.

Things again stir in my stomach.

"_Alucard what the fucking hell are you getting yourself into!" I said in between chaotic thoughts of mine._

"_Too late… if you deny it will be worse."_

"_Oh god... she will kill you."_

"_I doubt it."_

She walked toward me after having a staring match with him for another while.

"It is in your best interest to get away from him... not only your safety, but your job depends on it... I said it once, I say it again... I do not care what that little incident in the sub levels does to the image of myself or the Organisation in your eyes. But now you see what this beast is capable of. I will not consider this an official case of rape; this will be your punishment. You knew what you were against and you chose to ignore his nature..." Silence. "I wish I could transfer you to Information Retrieval to avoid any encounters between the two of you, but the Organisation will suffer. One more thing Officer and you're fired... as the least that can happen, of course... you're dismissed."

"Yes Sir..." I said and turned around and walked out of the office.

"_Well done."_

"_When you're done here, let me know how it went, please."_

"_I'll try..."_

That doubt made something I my stomach go 'thump'. I hope he'll be ok.

* * *

Yes, almost done. Nothing left to expand in the story, only stuff to clarify and explain. See ya guys after the storm I hope! 

Good and bad cookies always welcome+chomp chomp+


	27. Hm I wasn't expecting this

_Yes, I'm alive. Thank you guys so much for the support and the emails of concern. The storm gave a turn at last minute and hit us DIRECTLY. I went out when the eye of the hurricane passed over us. It was beautifully scary... took pictures and everything; a red sky. I know someone that if he only existed, would have loved that :D. I cried in happiness at such magnificent display of power. I still have no electricity; I am doing this from a friend's house. It's a bit frustrating because I have no food in my fridge and stuff but hey, life goes on. It hasn't been my best month but I'm up and alive and that only makes me feel better about myself. I'm learning. _

_Ok, that was the lesson for today kids MUAHUAHUA._

_Ahem._

_On with the thing..._

_

* * *

_

What the hell is Seras doing?

I walked toward the police girl with a frown on my face. She didn't feel me coming closer to her because she wouldn't stop what she was doing. The Draculina was standing in front of a wall, softly banging her forehead against it, over and over again.

Ok, is dementia a side effect of being undead? Jeez...

"You know..." I began, standing beside her with arms crossed, my side against the cement wall. "I tried that; it just made me dumber..."

"I'm frustrated." she mumbled, not stopping.

"I can see—just curious; you are doing _this_ because..."

She's still doing it.

"I'm trying to faze through the bloody wall..."

"Yes, you sound frustrated."

"I should be walking through it by now! I'm so bloody useless!"

"Ok, hold on... too early for the auto-flagellation routine—." I said looking at my watch.

"Maybe you don't understand—."

"Hey call me crazy but I've tried it." I shrugged. She finally stopped and looked at me.

A lot.

"You have tried... what exactly?" Seras finally asked.

"To faze through the wall." yes, she is staring at me. "... look when I'm not with you, I'm with your Master... sometimes I have to keep my humanity in check..."

She's still staring at me.

You know... thinking about it... I'm kind of nuts.

Damn, it's contagious.

"Still curious—according to whom you should be trespassing walls?"

"Master."

"Why..."

"He says that if he can do it, I can."

"But he's like ten million years old or something! I thought there was some kind of Vampire Association giving you crap about this—." she's still banging her head against the wall. "--stop it! You're making my forehead throb with nonexistent pain!"

She finally stopped.

"So I see you have talked to your Master." I stated with a sigh.

"Not after what happened with you two and Sir Integra."

I frowned.

"Wait, that was three days ago, Seras."

"Is he ok? I was getting worried—."

"Girl, I came to ask you the same thing."

Silence. We looked at each other with a frown.

"He never came back to tell me how it went with her." I finally said.

"I haven't seen him even before that, I think... thanks to you he doesn't bother me anymore—."

"--god, I hope he's ok..." I almost whispered.

"Well, you're still on duty; I don't think he got punished that bad..."

Yes, she doesn't know the details of the _meeting_.

"Seras, what's the worse that can happen—worst punishment he can go through?"

She shrugged.

She saw my worry because her face became darker.

"Why are you so worried?"

"Seras... I... didn't tell you something kind of important from the meeting with Hellsing."

"Well?"

Silence.

"He... _intervened_... so she couldn't fire me."

"Intervened?"

Silence.

"He blamed himself."

Silence.

"But that makes no sense!—it was you and him—."

"Rape."

She almost gasped. Her hand went to her mouth. Her eyes were the size of donuts.

"He... told Hellsing he mentally forced me."

Her eyes were not getting smaller.

"He said he did _that_ to you?"

"Yes."

"And she believed it?"

"Well, I'm still here."

She looked away, her eyes still wide.

"Technically, she should know this is not possible." she said softly. "... the seals wouldn't allow him to do this..." my frown disappeared as I began to get her point. "... if she believed him—."

"--She might think they are not working anymore..."

Silence.

"Seras, again, what is the worst thing that can happen—."

"--what if he gets—oh no..." she whispered.

"Get what?"

Silence. Nothing from her.

"Seras... get _what_..."

Her lips parted but nothing came out.

"Seras..." I was demanding an answer.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me to walk beside her.

"Now it's my turn to make you promise to not tell a soul what I will tell you."

"Girl, you're scaring me."

"Well, it is something to be scared about." she said with a nervous chuckle.

"I promise, please tell me."

Silence.

"I overheard a conversation once..." she began, her tone a whisper. "... between Walter and Master..." she went silent as someone walked by us. "... I understood he was... locked up before meeting Sir Integra."

I stopped in front of her.

"Locked up?"

"Yes."

"What do you mean _locked up_?"

"I am not sure... he was punished—locked up, I heard."

"Why?" Silence. "... tell me everything you know..."

"This is all I know, I swear it."

"Damn it—for how long—how long ago was this!" A shrug from her. "... why did he get locked up, Seras..."

Silence.

"Seras!"

"I don't want to worry you if I am wrong—."

"Tell me!--I haven't been sleeping anyways, damn it!--true or false at least is something!" I sighed, trying to control myself. "... what did you hear..."

"I think... it was because he became... restless..."

Silence.

Out of control? Oh no...

"God, Seras... what if she thinks—."

"Yes, this is why I remembered the conversation."

"What the hell did he get himself into—I'll kill him!"

Silence. I am not liking this. Not one bit.

"Please, girl I can't look for him... try and find him and if you do, let me know ok?..."

"Ok, I'll go now."

She walked closer to me and gave me a hug. I watched her jog away into the mansion.

This vampire _will_ be the end of me.

* * *

I opened my eyes, the mild darkness of my room telling me I was already late. My sleep was not getting any better. Still nothing from the vampire; not a word or thought. Just silence... and lots of nightmares. Since I left Hellsing's office after that damn scolding, I hadn't seen him. I rested on my side, not wanting to get up. 

"Alucard?.." I whispered into the empty room.

Silence.

"Please answer..."

More silence.

"Just tell me if you're ok... that's all I need..."

Nothing.

A tickle from the corner of my eye, traveling down to the bed, announced another tear being shed for him. I sniffled unconsciously. Then another sniffle.

"Aw, how sweet... she cries for the corpse..."

I sat up in one second with a gasp, recognizing the playful purr. He was sitting beside me, like I have seen him do many times before; legs crossed at the ankles, hands intertwined on his lap.

My reaction; a glare.

"I told you to tell me how it went!" Yes, I'm yelling.

"I wanted you to miss me..."

"You are—." I punched him a few times on his chest and arm. "--I hate you..."

"Everyone is getting so worked up for the vampire... hmm..."

"Seras is also worried!" I kicked him.

"And you milady?"

"What do you think!"

"What a dear..."

"Shit..." I whispered, still not believing the scare he gave me. "... so what did she do to you?"

"Well... I'm being starved again."

"Oh, man... thank you god..."

"Well... it is not fun to be hungry—."

"It's better than being—." I stopped. Damn me and my big mouth.

Silence.

"How well informed are we, hm?"

"Please... I wasn't supposed to tell you—don't say anything to her."

"I know..." a neutral tone in his voice.

Silence.

"You scared me Alucard..." I whispered sweetly. I felt his nose rubbing against my neck, smelling my concern for him. I smiled a little, and in one movement, I brought him down to rest on the bed; his face stuck to my skin, his body over mine. I tugged at his coat, his answer always the same; a click of his tongue mocking me, and his extra clothes disappearing. That feathering always felt so nice.

"Did she really believe the rape thing?..." I whispered.

"Of course not... but she had nothing to prove the contrary..."

"I don't care what's in her head; you're safe and I'm here..."

"I can assure you... worse things have happened here, that go against her god..."

"Don't tell me... this place scares me sometimes... too many secrets..." Silence. "... damn she was _pissed_ at you... she's so scary..." he chuckled at this. "... I don't care how many people you've impaled... that will never win against her glare..." we chuckled some more. "... I bet you taught her that too..."

"No, I will give her complete credit for that..."

"Well, I guess she had to develop the 'icy glare' to go against that 'hot stuff glare' of yours..."

"Oh... good to know it still works."

I kicked him playfully.

"I wonder then... why am I still here..." I asked in a whisper still. "... if she knew about what we did; if she thinks I'm so crazy out there, why am I still here... with a squad of my own..?"

"Hm..."

"Are you doing this?"

"No..."

"Then?"

He shifted his position to rest on his back, beside me. Silence. I wasn't sure if there would be an answer, but it didn't hurt to wait.

"Integra's strength is not paperwork, my dear..." he purred playfully. "... but, it is something that has to be done; came with the job..."

Silence.

"She comes from a lineage of hunters; the chase, the thirst for battle is in her... but then again, she sits at her desk every night and does mountains of paperwork... while you, draga mea, go to battle."

His eyes were on me now. I turned to him. Is this an answer?

"... my routine reports became somewhat centered on your doings, not because of me—well it is normal at first when soldiers are new to the job—but time passed... I remember saying something about it..." he sighed. "... she almost threw her letter opener at me, so I learned my lesson..."

"... your point is..."

"The police girl is... the police girl; no one she could relate to in battle—not because Integra thinks badly of her, before milady says anything—."

"How well you know me corpse, go on..."

He chuckled. He came closer to my ear.

"You two are more similar than you think..." he whispered. "... you disobey failed orders in battle, trusting your judgment. I have seen her do the same in her battlefield... against bureaucracy and the such..." I felt him smirk against my ear. "... but then again she wants to join the men out there—or even you... and you my dear, judging by our conversations, would like to sit at that round table and give them a piece of your mind..."

So this is it?

"Envy, is not the word for either of you; she _wishes_ silently, deep within her, for your freedom... and you, for her power and influence..."

Silence.

"Two almost opposite roles; so opposite that could complement one another. Two roles that could be successfully executed by either of you, because there is enough strength in you and in her to do so..." he finished with a half grin.

Silence. I kind of wasn't expecting this.

How crazy am I to think that maybe, just maybe, she would've wanted to be in that library with him?

"She breaks molds... just as you do... only she has her way and you have your own..."

Silence. I looked at him sadly again.

"Again, that thing in your eyes when you speak of her..." I whispered.

He half smirked.

"Not long ago I heard the same from her lips... while speaking of you..."

Thump in my stomach.

"Do not forget now I have been speaking about _both_ of you, milady..."

Silence.

My hand slid under his hair, my fingers tangling with it. I kissed his forehead, my lips lingering on his cool flesh. He brought my legs over his, pulling me closer to him. Again, one of those moments we have; he's not a cuddling teddy bear or anything even close to it, so I savor moments like these; especially when there is no real reason behind it.

Anger touched my heart. In that moment, I felt... that if he had been locked up... I would've brought this whole manor down. His nose came back to my neck, inhaling my anger mixed with concern. I felt his face rub against me like a feline, a soft purr coming from his throat... and then his hoarse whisper...

"When you smell like this... I can't help but want to make love to you..."

_Thump_ number two.

Make... _love_...? He used this term almost figuratively once... but never again after that.

His body shifted, coming over mine, his lips kissing his way to meet my lips. It took a bit of me to kiss him back. This is the man or... whatever, I just felt I would bring this place down for, if he was hurt... who wants to make _love_ to me...

But then… why do I fear that word coming out of his lips?

* * *

_Next chappy: the official last chap. After that, an Afterword will come. So it is technically 2 more chaps. DON"T KILL MEEEE PLSSS!_

_Again, cookies are a girl's best friend :D_


	28. And this is, closure

_This is the official last chapter. The Afterword will bring closure to the story and it will come in a few when I am done with it. _

_Once upon a time the author of this story wrote something in author notes in the end of chapter 6. Just keep that in mind. :D_

_Stay tuned for the Afterword people! Again thank you guys for everything!

* * *

_

Making love…

(gunshot)

What did I get myself into…

(gunshot)

I have to do something about this… I've been putting it in the back of my mind for too long.

(gunshot)

He can read my mind, why make it so goddamn hard… damn him.

(gunshot)

I feel like I can't look at him… no, I didn't get drunk again… even worse…

_His heavy breaths are like music to my ears. Surprisingly the squeaking of the bed has lost its humor. My eyes battle between closing or opening; closing them, and feel the delicious uncertainty of what his next move or caress will be, or opening them, and feel my insides flutter as my eyes rest on his parted lips, his half lidded eyes that once in a while roll back as I internally stimulate him… taking advantage of this time when his face softly contorts in something other than smirks and burlesque expressions. Yes, finding pleasure in his pleasure…_

_I decide to open them. Feeling his breath against my face is like a little… exclusiveness I get from him, since he doesn't need to breathe normally. My hand reaches for his face, my fingers traveling to his lips, entering his mouth, letting him taste drops of my blood. Once it touches his tongue, his movements become slower but deeper, eyes again roll back for a few seconds as his brow furrows slightly. His upper body falls closer to mine, resting on his forearms, eyes still lost. _

_He has inner battles too at times like this; I can feel his hands on me and then leaving me to clutch strongly at the sheets under me, sometimes his nails thinning the cloth almost ripping it, not wanting to hurt me. Ambivalences, ambivalences…_

_His eyes again focus and meet mine. I don't close them this time after a while or look at his lips or anywhere else. And I don't look away. And he doesn't look away. And I realize I haven't looked at him like this before. My fingers move away from his lips and travel to the back of his neck into his hair, and then across his shoulders. I bury my face on the curve of his neck and try to understand this thing I am feeling in my stomach… and the rest of my body, as he looked back at me. Yes, I am hiding. I am hiding my eyes from his. I don't know why. Or maybe I do, I can't say. I feel his grinding, but the only thing in my mind is…_

_What did I get myself into with him…_

_Next thing I feel is his fingers buried into my hair on the back of my head, bringing me away from his shoulder. Again he's looking at me this way. I try to look back but not for long. My eyes travel down to his lips, his eyes still pulling mine to his. I don't know why I can't do it. There's something heavy in my chest not letting me. I feel as if I do… I might cry. His movements stop gradually, almost unnoticeably. Or maybe I'm just so overwhelmed with what I am feeling that I don't notice. No expression on his face. Mine is a sea of them. After trying to decide what mask I should wear right now… I give up with a sigh, my head thrown back a bit. _

"_I'm sorry…" I whisper almost inaudibly. _

_He just looked back at me, his face not changing._

_Silence. _

"_You want me to stop but do not want me away… and again do…" he whispered._

_No, it's not about not being in the mood. I don't know what the hell is happening to me._

"_I'm sorry…" I whispered again. I didn't know what else to say. _

_Silence. He looked at me tilting his head a bit._

"_It is coming to you…" again his whisper._

_I frowned. _

"_What… is?"_

"_You will see…"_

(gunshot)

What the hell is happening to me… I wish I had a clue.

(click)

Ok, not another magazine, I have to control myself.

I'll walk around… I wonder were Seras is…

--

"Captain!" I said in a mocking tone as I saw Pip sitting at _his_ balcony, having a beer and a cig by himself, staring forward. Oh man, his guitar. He better be drunk or else he sounds awful.

"Officer!" He said in a mocking tone too. "… _what's up?_"

"Nothing... nothing... bored out of my mind too..."

"So I see..." He turned to me as I jumped on the balcony too. "Cig and beer?"

"Please and please" He lit mine and opened my beer. "… such a gentleman..."

"Zat I am... when I feel like eet..."

Chuckles.

"I bet..." I gulped down some beer. "... thought you were with Seras..."

"Nah..." He took a long drag from his cig. "I try not to spoil her... let her miss me..."

"Riiight..."

"Really."

"I do believe you, man... you seem like that type."

"Type?..."

Silence.

"Question..."

"Oui?"

"How... do you see Seras? I mean, do you really like her? Or is it just goofing around?"

He gave me a playful glare. "You're her spy or somezeeng?"

"No, it's 100 personal interest..."

"Hmm... she's a very nice girl. A good girl. Even I feel bad about hurting a girl like zat..."

"Hmm... would you say you like her?"

"Of course I do."

"I mean.. like-like… feel something for her."

Silence.

"I zeenk so..."

"And have you considered the fact that she's a vampire in all this?"

"Of course I do... it's not somezeeng I can forget... zere's the eyes, ze teeth and ze strength... a girl stronger zan me, it's weird sometimes..."

"Hmm..."

"Why?"

"And have you thought about--what if you want to be with her, like have a steady relationship or something? What about the whole immortality thing, the fact that she will stay like this forever, looking like this--."

"Whoa! Let's not get zat far, luv... don't scare me..."

"Ok…" Why am I blushing?

"Hmm..." He eyed me carefully and jumped off the balcony. "I zink someone has a crush on a vampireee." He sing-songed, strumming his guitar.

"Huh?"

He chuckled knowingly.

"Damn it... the police girl told you..."

"Told me?... told me what?" He said with a huge wicked smile.

I scoffed.

He came beside me and put his arm around my shoulders, signaling somewhere with his beer.

"I have an amazeeng view..." I looked at what he was signaling.

He could see the balcony of my barracks and my hallway.

Of course.

He must have been witness to some talks and discussions… and slaps.

"Crap... who else saw...?"

"Nah... no one comes here... except your blonde ex-boyfriend but I don't zink he's seen much… plus it would be all around ze place _any road_..." He had a big gulp of his beer. "… you two have an... interesting relationship... and I have to say you have a big set of bollocks to hit him like zat..."

So he knew all along.

"We don't have a relationship."

"... I have seen zeengs that enter zat category..."

"Great, I have another stalker--."

"I can't see your room, luv... dunno what's happening zere... nor I care..."

"What things... " I was curious.

"Fights... very long talks, discussions... you smiling, him smiling sharing a cig... both frustrated, zeengs like zat... I didn't have to see any _action_ between you two to know somezeeng was up..." He lit another cig.

Silence.

"It's not a crush, by the way..."

"You sure, girl?"

Silence. Hey I'm trying to lie here.

"Hm..." He exhaled. " … just be careful is all I say... if you give one, anyways..."

"He's not dangerous in the way people think--."

"I don't mean zat, luv..." Long puff. "... he's an alright bloke, I have talked to him before... lots of times, even traveled with him all the way to Brazil on a mission ... zere is more zan immortality and ze blood drinking and all zat between you and him... it might look _hunky-dory_, but I bet it's too much of a roller coaster for humans..."

Silence.

"You know what I'm talking about, oui?"

"Yeah… he's-he's… not your sweet boy next door… he's been through so much… I think you're right..."

"Just an opinion... nozeeng written on blood..."

He again strummed his guitar after jumping on the balcony to sit. He began playing a melody, a sweet one. Music has such an impact on me.

"I could write a song weez what I have seen… about you two…"

"Oh please…"

"Funny how you had all of us zinking zat it was just… how can I say it nicely…"

I frowned at him. "… oui… just post-_métier_ conversations…"

"Huh?" I smiled.

More playing. "That's how I will call ze song…" Soft playing. "_Post-métier conversations_…"

I laughed silently. He is so random when he wants to be.

"I don't think you are using that word the right way, Frenchie…"

"Girl, I'm ze French one here, I should know, ok?"

More laughing. Seras is so goddamn lucky. He's such a sweetheart.

I jumped off the balcony and holding his head from behind I brought him closer to mine and kissed him on the cheek. He's French, he won't think any of it.

"Thanks… you're cooler than you look."

"I get zat a lot..."

"Riiiight..." I smiled thinking about so many things that have exploded in my face all around this place. "… I guess nothing is what it seems… it _is_ all a matter of perception..."

"Sleep tight, girl… don't let the bats shit on you in your sleep."

"You are so vulgar when you want to be too…" He chuckled. "I'm going to go--hey you want a hemp bracelet?"

"A whata?"

"Come I'll show you..." I pulled him to my room, well more like dragged.

Who knew the mercenary could be insightful...

* * *

It is strange how, in the dark, things morph to something else.

Since I was a little girl, I always liked the dark. I loved to see how my mind would decompose shapes and turn them into something else. My friends were always scared of this; they saw chairs turn into monsters and closets turn into gates of hell. To me it was always beautiful. I guess I have always been strange.

That same thing happens to people, if one is kept in the dark.

I looked at the vampire beside me, his eyes closed, still as a… dead body I should say. Well, he doesn't breathe. But it is dark, or as dark as I can manage with my less than perfect blinds. So it is something I can ignore. In every other way, he looks just like a regular guy, about 27 years old, sleeping beside me after a night of passionate sex.

I turned on my side, away from him and stared at the wall. Walls don't really change. They always remain walls, no matter how dark.

I wonder what is it that's happening to me. I can't feel something for him. How can I? It makes no sense. How long has this been in me and I haven't noticed it? Is something really growing here? Is it because he confessed he can love? But this was something I already knew.

That question… the one that was eating me inside.

Could he ever love me like he loves her?

I felt him move. I guess he is stirring in his sleep. He does. Something that surprised me the first time I saw it. But then I felt his body spooning with mine, his arm coming around my body at the height of my waist. He doesn't do this. At least, not with me.

"Let's talk about love…" He whispered, almost mocking nostalgia, his lips landing close to my ear.

"Hm?"

"Let's talk about love." His tone now almost playful.

Silence.

"Does it surprise you?" He asked.

"What…"

"A monster… speaking about love…"

"… yeah…"

"Why, milady?" Silence. "Are humans the only ones who can experience love?" His tone was burlesque.

"… That's what we believe…"

"How can you claim possession of something that you cannot even define?"

"How can language, a creation of ours which carries every fundamental flaw we have, define something like love? It doesn't mean we can't feel it or exclusively feel it. Thought and soul are not the same, vampire…"

He chuckled approvingly. "_'How can something that is dead experience something like love?_'... Is this it?"

"You are not dead. Undead is different than dead."

"I am glad you know the difference…" Silence. "Why then… is it so hard to believe a vampire can love?"

"You have implied many times you do not bother with emotions or feelings."

"And love is a feeling?" He asked rhetorically.

Silence.

"What is love then… you seem to know…" I asked him a bit testy.

"I cannot tell you what love is… but I have very clear what it is not…"

"Tell me then."

Silence.

"Feelings, as you know very well, are as nonexistent and flawed as language is. But humans tend to place love in this category." Silence. "Is love as volatile? I think not. Feelings change all the time. I can make it change with a remark or a simple action…" He poked my side and I slapped his arm. "… it is quite fun…"

"Ok, I got it…"

He chuckled.

"I do not bother with feelings, not because I am undead. It is experience that has let me to the conclusion that feelings are nothing but creations of ours. We have them, if we choose to."

"… I agree…"

"You know this… it took you less than me to realize this same thing, draga mea…" Silence. "But love is not a feeling… as unromantic as it may sound." More silence. "Could I ever love you as I love her, you ask." He said and I felt my face red. I can't get used to this ability of his. "The answer depends not on me… as surprising as it sounds." Silence. Now I'm confused. "_Something_ for me is awakening inside of you, you say. _Feelings_ for a vampire. _Love_ perhaps?"

"I'm not sure." Silence. "Maybe the potential to—I don't know…" I said stuttering a bit.

"Hm."

Silence.

"You don't sound convinced." I said with a frown.

"I am not."

"How can you know what I feel or not feel? You read thoughts, but not--."

"Hearts? Milady, such an old-wives tale; still thinking it is your heart doing this? Leave the poor thing alone; it has enough problems with pumping blood and creating a blood flow."

I was going to say something but stopped. I did get his point.

Silence.

"No, I cannot love you like I love her."

Silence. Rejection is a bitch. I swallowed hard. So he was using me then?

"Is it because you've known her for so long?"

"How can that be a reason, milady?"

"You have been through more things with her; a bond has been developed--."

"Time is also as unreal as language and feelings; another human creation. It does not exist. It is relative, some say, which only proves it doesn't mean anything."

Silence.

"Could you? If she wasn't in the picture?" my voice is sounding smaller by the minute.

"It has nothing to do with her either."

Silence. I'm confused again.

"I cannot love someone who doesn't see me as what I am."

I frowned.

"What do you mean? I know what you are—." I argued.

"You accept me as what I am… you know I am a vampire. But you do not see me as this."

"I don't understand."

Silence.

"I am what you would like to be." He said softer into my ear, as if making sure I understood. "I represent power… everything you would like to achieve; you believe I am smart, strong, experienced, intelligent, invincible… These are things you would like to become. And you see them personified in me." Silence. "You idolize me, being close to me makes you feel closer to these traits. And of course, makes you feel better about yourself… as I have chosen you to share my bed, time and thoughts with."

Silence. My inner self is not getting defensive as it always gets when I feel threatened or misjudged. I can't believe this…

"It can't be this vain…" I said with a deeper frown.

"Why?"

"What about my concern for you…"

"Oh, I never said you couldn't feel concern for me. I never said you didn't feel something for me… but it is not that kind of thing you believe it to be…"

Silence.

"_I_ was using _you_." I whispered; it felt so horrible.

"Some might see it that way…" Long silence. "...still … you would have made a wonderful vampire."

I smiled. It was a compliment to me.

Silence.

"Is this your only reason?"

"Yes, my dear."

"How can you decide this? Doesn't it just happen... I mean, _love_?

Silence. He chuckled.

"I have only lived long enough to know better..." Silence. "It is almost… a decision of mine, yes. A decision that at certain times I hesitated to follow... "

Silence.

"Could you have been able to love more than one then? I mean if I did see you as--."

Silence. I trailed off; I didn't need to explain it to him.

"As aware and awakened as your pretty little mind is, there are things you cannot understand now."

Very long silence. I can't believe I wasn't aware of this. I feel so bad. I can't believe I lost control of me like this and didn't see what was really happening.

"Ari…" I closed my eyes and smiled unconsciously almost. I loved the way he sometimes whispered my name with no reason. "My dear Ari… there is so much you don't see yet… so much you still need to learn… but you are doing well, very well…" I felt his chest pressing stronger against me, his body coming a bit higher over my side almost. "… the strengths you posses are not the ones you see. It takes a while to see in between the lines of your reality because you have woven them with threads of what you already are… you just, don't see it yet…" Silence. "… don't look beyond the fantastic structure… look into it… it is even more… marvelous…" Silence. "We could have had so much fun together…" He whispered, a hint of playfulness and sadness. I turned my head to look at him. No, it wasn't an indecent proposal; not one that would come from a lover. It was even more intimate… but more chaste. One word came to my head.

Accomplice.

I let out a small chuckle.

"Go to her… you've made her jealous enough." I joked. I had seen them together. She couldn't have a doubt. No matter what he did. I felt his hand pinching my chin softly, his fingers running through my hair as he moved away and off the bed.

He appeared completely dressed in front of my bed, walking toward the door. I didn't feel anything too bad as he walked away from me. Actually, I felt a bit lighter; as weird as it may sound.

"Can I ask something of you?" He asked, turning his body sideways and facing me.

"Sure." I sat up covering my body with the comforter.

Silence.

"Never forget what you are in battle. There is nothing I can do anymore if you fall."

"Ok." I wasn't expecting something like this. "Can we still go around scaring people?"

"Of course." He said with a smile. Yes, a smile. "I owe you a lesson on cleaning guns too."

"Right." I remembered.

And then he disappeared.

I smiled.

No, I didn't hear steps down the hallway. Nor the door slowly closing, or a lightness in the air because of his departure. Nothing to dramatically announce the closure of this... whatever it was.

I guess in Alucard language this means 'take care, don't get killed, everything is back to how it was before.' It will take me some time to adjust. But I think I can manage. Or at least try to.

If only I had asked the damn question before things escalated...

... nah, never mind.

I turned around, my nose buried in the pillow. I inhaled. Hm, I'll postpone cleaning my sheets to a few more days.

* * *

I turned around, grunting, not wanting to wake up. What had happened hours ago was still fresh in my mind and I wished to stay in bed and think about it. I already missed him. As I rolled around the bed some more I felt… the noise of paper wrinkling under my shoulder. I propped my body up with my forearms and brought the paper closer to my line of vision.

A strange handwriting. Hm. I wonder what this is…

"_My dear Ari:_

_This is something that flowed out of me in one of those so called nights in which for a few moments, I forgot about decisions and reason when it came to the thought of you. If you read it or not it makes no difference; for my own benefit, I want you to have it. It is my own concept… of closure." _

I gulped. My heart was in my throat. I didn't know what to expect. I was afraid to read but I had to do it. I sighed.

It had a date; the day of the 'illusion'… that horrible mission.

"… _Centuries have passed since the last time I believed in men, in life and in faith…_

_In translucid thoughts of eternity, where passion makes no place for reason or poetry, I waited; waited for the day she would come._

_The last of them… the one that remained faceless…_

_My body mutilated by reality still takes comfort in the unconscious consciousness of my soul; in the remembrance of that space in time when both life and unlife stopped; when I finally saw your face, the one that was once changing and shapeless in my dreams, now outlining perfect and tangible smiles..._

_That day continues to dilute past memories of death and war and betrayal; even those that go as far back as when I relied in breath to exist... _

… _such is the power your mere existence holds... _

_My brown eyed lady; knowing you exist outside of my thoughts and that future full of faces that has haunted me for decades, makes me fathom, that in this world you not only represent hope to a damned soul that refuses to live, but also to a species that fears their own created idols. This is why I am filled with awe at your unawareness at how your apparition is encompassed by forms of light that disperse my own darkness..._

_Light I once considered extinguishing succumbing to my own selfishness..._

_... a light I felt almost extinguished tonight... _

_And on this night, draga mea, I remembered what fear is; and that your death is not the only thing I am afraid of anymore, but mine if I ever see indifference in your eyes, which I know are not fallacious fears... and why my decision is what it is..._

_But right now, to the rabid ocean my despondent thoughts; I don't want to think but to continue to feel, because with time you seem closer to me. And for your essence to come with me into the darkness, I would give my life... if I had one... _

_... again, blinded by selfishness, I am guilty, yes, since I do not know selflessness..._

_In a fraction of time, blood contracts in my chest, trying to comprehend this 'thing' I demand from you but you cannot give... nevertheless I continue to seek you; nothing will prohibit this happiness to a cursed creature like me._

_So I will continue to share cigarettes and politics and maybe that long forgotten God I once believed in, with you; even if to only thank Him for your presence... since this is the only thing I can offer..." _

My teary eyes were blurring the last lines of the paper. As those tears I was holding back finally ran down my face, I could finally see that those last lines were written in a different ink... the same ink used to write the very first introductory paragraph, which made me think it was added later...

"_... with the relativity that the word encases, I love you my dear Ari... in much more than one way..."_

I sniffled heavily and smiled at this.

_Always the drama, damn corpse,_ I thought; _and at the end, just throwing it in your face nice and straight._

Damn him... bringing his brides back, the dog... but still pussy whipped.

I couldn't stop smiling.

I think those sheets will stay where they are for longer than I thought.

So I guess this is… closure.

* * *

_Thank you guys so much... you guys rock, this was going to be 13 chappys and LOOK IT"S A GODDAMN NOVEL! I copied it to a word document and its over 200 pages! Goddamn! This was supposed to be a one shot to start with! Thanks always for the support…_

_Stay tuned for the afterword! Good and bad cookies are very welcome! (cookies are reviews, I've gotten people asking me to stop eating or I'll just explode… :D)_

_I know, I know, weird ending… well, people who know me know I like weird stuff._


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